Am in love and am happy shouldn't that matter more but why would society make me feel like i have committed a crime to take on a married man why should they be the one to tell me what i can and can't do and why should also a piece of silver or gold determine persons life or happiness? a law that was enforced by man, well i think.... 99% of most married couples in my community are married due to society demands and personal interest few marry of love its more of an obligation that is to be fulfilled.

The upbringing has played its roll in this area called love, long ago men had many wives even in the old testament David is an example but we tend to over look the old and focus on new Christianity even when it was introduced by a white man who has adopted to change and even made divorce easy to achieve in their countries than here in Africa is it because their brainwashing got stuck with us or is it us who fear change to on the power for what we feel is right instead we force what's not meant to be anymore resulting into emotional and physical torture all because of a piece of paper. Have seen women in my community go through hush treatment even men all in the name of preserving marriage and for sake of children..well, no child would be wished to grow in a broken marriage but also a marriage that's only on piece of paper what good will it teach our children? love makes it all better i mean even in bible the most word talked about is love so if your not happy shouldn't you have a choice without being judged or prosecuted. And don't get me started on slave trade in marriages well that's what it was before being modernized and some conditions being revised as long as its bride price to me is same as slave trade because the moment the man's family pays you their money they expect you to take care of their son and family your supposed to do most chores without questions and you call that what? slave trade hidden behind gift giving, well it may have been modernized but is still what it is, the world is changing but my local communities seem to hang on to such notions, to some extent i don't put blame but on education and ethics that still lack in many homes. Many have given up on so many ethics but also the government that should be for people is now one man's game play so families will use marriage as way to get wealthy easily selling off their girl child due to selfish reasons or forcing man to settle without love because they want to keep the family name and wealth intact. and you wonder why there is a lot of outside marriage relationships 'love affairs.

I decided i won't settle for such am a free spirit and will stay that way i mean i only have one life shouldn't i enjoy it rather than living and sacrificing for others letting go of my own desires and happiness for another just because the society demands it. And with love is so interesting you will find it in place u list expect or a person you never thought you would ever.... well i found mine in an unexpected person we met at his party actually it was my first time to see him but it felt like i knew him way before there were many people there but its like the stars had aligned together destiny sang to me and he was my star shining so bright and was consumed by his light in that moment i felt i had found my home where i rightfully belong but that day unfortunately we never talked but may eyes kept picking his light out i was so drowned and engrossed by his presence and it took me time to realize what was the cause until i reached my place and am looking back and asking myself what i has just experienced its not like he was smartly dressed or with colors that could attract you first no and as i recall he was also intoxicated by alcohol so him noticing me was 0% but i noticed and he left his mark.

Well, i didn't see Eli gain for quite some time but later got to meet him, through my nephew's invitation for a drink and he happened to be there just to mention we share relatives am on the dad's side of my nephew and hes on the mum's side, he wasn't alone he was dating another girl so i had no way of contact him direct and i remember we only said hellos for the time i was there. He had other friends of his around and one of them picked interest in me we talked the time i was there had enough drinks he was good company but my heart knew it's target, i would keep sneaking at them and would wish i was the one near him and this led me drinking to much that night and my nephew had to drop me off home the gentleman that entertained me that night took my number but had no interest in talking to him again...am always a straight forward person don't like to force or pretend to like something so didn't want to waste his time but i must say after seeing him with that girl was left a bit broken because its only me who had noticed. Months went by and didn't get to see him again and got busy with work and mum's health got worse so had to put down most activities and take care of her so movements became limited until i lost her to cancer 'RIP' mom your will always me missed.

The same period i lost mom was toward Christmas season and found myself with so many party invitations and one of them was my nephew's though i was still not emotionally stable had to go through counselling for a month and putting my life back on the road doing a lot of catch up with life i had put on the side to concentrate on mum's well being, truthfully he didn't occupy or cross my mind much after what i had seen in that moment he was with another and didn't think he would want what i had thought of before, well the season came and had to travel early upcountry since most ceremonies where that side, i settled at my brothers home first had Christmas with them then traveled to my parents home after to rest and wait for my nephews day. That day was a calm day not hot or cold tho i remember it drizzled for some few minutes we were to meet at a certain hotel from there we go where the main event was to be held, I met with my nephews the brothers to the one getting married and we headed off to the meeting place and there he was sitting with a drinking in his hands he had others of course around the table but he was all i could notice his light pulled me in instantly and yet again that destiny sang to me he offered me his chair don't think anyone noticed but i found myself blushing, we didn't talk much he just said hello i return the greetings and focused my attention to others around the table doing some catch up with most of them because had taken long without seeing them others was my first time to get introduced to and we dragged on until we left for the main venue. We were welcomed and requested to first have lunch plus some refreshments before the main function started but after lunch couldn't see him in our small entourage kind of felt down because i thought he had left but later into the ceremony one of my nephews contacted him and he was back towards end of the ceremony, they had planned for an after party so from the venue we left for another hotel had brought a change of clothes so it was OK with me.

I left with my nephews to the hotel it was a new one in the area and looked great we arrived with him but in a different car he was driving with his big brother so when we parked i excused myself for the ladies room to make some touches, u would think he was waiting for me because when i came out there he was standing near the stairs leading to the lounge he greeted me again and said i think i know you, one of my nephews was there and put fire in the whole conversation telling him how i had a crush on him and he laughed it off only replied 'really' but he whispered back saying am all yours tonight he hugged me and from then he never put his hands away, he ushered me inside the lounge pulled a chair for me and it was a night i will never forget. We talked, joked,laughed like as if we were old friends the conversation came easily and i found myself getting the closure i had longed for.. he was such a gentleman he really took care of me and we sealed that night with a kiss.

The next day Eli called to check on me and was like he enjoyed my company and was looking forward to seeing me again i said the same, i mean why not i was a mess all brushing by just a mare thought of him after that day had plans to travel back to the city and new years celebrations was just a few days away but for that day just wanted to be alone and rest so didn't do much or go anywhere and naturally i prefer my independence most times even tho i may have other obligations but at the end of the day i love to return to my quite place. He never left my mind was so eager to seeing my Eli again we kept in-touch tho after new years eve he got busy with some work for like two days but on the third day he didn't work he spared the day for his visit at mine..i can say that night did sleep well i wake up early and keep on looking outside my widow and when he finally called all i can say i felt a shiver go through me and my knickers getting went, he asked what i needed and after a few minutes he was at my gate.. I moved out to welcome him but couldn't wait to get back indoors and just fall in his arms and i can say he didn't expect me to be like the way i was or behave in that way i think he thought he would come and we continue with our conversation from last time but me i was done waiting i needed him, wanted him in ways i had never felt before my body was on fire when i hugged him he thought i was just saying hi but no i didn't let go we kissed and he's such a good kisser and oh my he smelt so good and everything clicked destiny sang to me again i had to just have him all of him all i know i dragged him to the bedroom our lips never apart and he was also a good motivator so it didn't take long clothes were on the floor our bodies mingled well together i remember him inserting his finger into my cunt and then pulled it out and sucked on it wow never has anything been so romantic to me like that gosh it made me go crazy if i had not got wet before i was dripping felt my cunt quiver and my knees go weak he lifted me on to the bed never giving space to anything and oh my his entry was like as if i had left earth to paradise. My Eli doesn't fuck he makes love to all your senses he handles your body like a fine piece of art so gentle yet so satisfying he gives you his all you feel every emotion in the kisses and caresses i came so fast i guess the body was so hungry or to much anticipation and he can go on and on focusing on your body needs more but after my second orgasm we took a break for some refreshments the conversation came so easily and we both opened up intimately the bond was formed that day by the time he had to leave we were five rounds in and double orgasms in each round he left me exhausted beautifully.

Well, my Eli is a married man with four children and am a single mother with two children i have dated other men but never have ever felt like i feel for my Eli he's so easy to love doesn't make it hard for you to understand him what you see is what you get he is an open book and an amazing wonder if u allow yourself to see him for him, he has this personality that draws you in and so generous. I have had my own share of heartbreaks and this made me put my emotions on the side and concentrate on work and my children there may have been flings here and there but nothing serious even with the father of my children was no bond we were young we met in high school and then dated at campus which resulted to early pregnancy and society demanded we settle down as expectant parents even being clueless on what all was required of us with zero experience in many things or much to build a family on and later this caused us to start seeing the whole situation in a different way and the little emotion that was there was out of the door as fast as it started i did what i did as an obligation but never was it because of love. Along the way after our breakup i met another but turned out to be an emotional mess for me he came with his own problems from his wife and was also having mine couldn't take it and was on the journey of discovery so me being a healing ground for another when i needed healing myself was doomed to fail, months come and years passed and i never felt at home with anyone until he came into the picture. With him its so different feels so special we are opposites but the attraction is so pure and undeniable every time we meet the feeling is instant the pull of energy to one another can't be compared to anything else .. those who have been lucky in life to experience this they would know what i mean its a wonder and wish everyone to discover this kind of energy, we don't put our hands off each other he loves a lot of PDA and also happens i don't mind it at all he helped me open up to my own emotions that i had locked away i be myself with him i don't need to pretend or fake he made it so easy to fall in love his deep calls to mine he's enough. So what if i don't get to see him every time i cherish those moments we get to spend together we both love independence so this works for me so well all that matters to me is to wake up everyday and know i have someone out there who thinks of me and that am not alone to keep looking forward to the next meeting to create more memories, i don't want to have a marriage without the lust and the excitement that makes you feel alive every time especially when making love it shouldn't be taken as obligation and with us it gets better and better every time we meet..so magical so much to explore and discover together. My Eli loves to love and am loved more than enough so i give him all the attention he longs for and repays me with more.

In marriage you can't have it all and that's the fact people settle for one thing or another you will find there is money but no good sex or you find there is good sex but no money and then you have to make a compromise. Who said you can't have it all because for me i want all it emotionally, physically and spiritually because they all align with each other you lack one of these and you be unstable. I love myself so much to let life pass by and not do anything about it and it starts with me if am in harmony with my well being then will be able to share the love and take care of another. Its a self discovery when you accept to let go of what the society expects from you with their traditions or laws there is nothing that can't change God gave us free will to make or break our own choices and deal with whichever consequences as adults, if choices couldn't be made or broken then this world wouldn't be where it is right now. Tho its unfortunate that in my community if change is brought they will blame it on developed countries but yet again they are developed and for us we stuck with traditions that have left us stagnant with no or less development we need to embrace change because the world is not stationed in one place.

There is an African saying 'life waits for no man' you either find your happy or die miserable and still searching for you happy, if an opportunity presented its self i would grab it with everything I've got let people talk me am happy leaving my life and won't settle for less i don't know what tomorrow has in store for me but i will live a day at a time and that's what it should be am still writing the story of my love life with my Eli and i won't hold back will give in my whole for as long as it lasts.