I woke up suddenly, my chest tight with emotion, tears streaming down my face.
"That vision..." I murmured to myself, staring at the ceiling.
It was just a vision, a fleeting dream, but the weight of it lingered in my heart, impossible to shake. I rubbed my eyes, pulling myself out of bed, and made my way downstairs, still groggy.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Mom greeted me with a teasing smile.
"Good morning, Himeya," Haruka-nee added, her voice light as usual.
"Morning... fwuahhh... both of you," I yawned mid-sentence, struggling to form coherent words.
"You stayed up all night again, didn't you?" Haruka asked, crossing her arms.
"Y-Yeah... I was revising my manuscript," I admitted sheepishly.
"Did you finish it?"
"Yeah, thankfully," I replied, stifling another yawn.
"Good. But you'd better hurry up—you're about to be late," she said, pointing at the clock.
My eyes darted to the time, and panic surged through me.
"Oh no, the excursion!" I bolted upstairs, grabbing my uniform, and dashed into the bathroom to get ready.
Today was the final meeting for the committee's excursion—the one before the third years graduated. After scrambling to pack my things, I hopped onto my bike and pedaled furiously to school.
When I arrived, several students were already lined up near the buses. Among the crowd, a familiar voice called out to me.
"Ah, Himeya!"
I turned toward the voice and spotted Touka waving at me.
"W-Why are you here?" I asked, parking my bike and walking over.
"Senpai asked me to come along, hehe," she replied with a playful grin.
"Sometimes, you're so mysterious, Touka..." I muttered, shaking my head.
After attendance was taken, we were instructed to board the bus and pick our seats. As I moved toward the bus, my eyes landed on Uguisu-senpai sitting alone, her face clouded with gloom.
"Aren't you going to sit with her?" Touka asked, puzzled by my hesitation.
I remained silent for a moment before replying quietly, "Not this time."
We chose seats near the back. Touka leaned in, her curious eyes scanning my face.
"Himeya...?"
"What is it?"
"Come here for a second," she said, motioning for me to move closer. Before I could react, she reached out and held my head in place.
"Wh-What are you doing?" I stammered, caught off guard.
"Don't move for a moment, 'kay?" she said firmly.
Her fingers combed through my hair. For a brief second, I wondered if she was comforting me, but that thought vanished when I realized what she was actually doing.
"And... done," she announced with a satisfied smile.
"You could've just told me you wanted to fix my hair," I muttered, feeling a bit flustered.
"Hehe," she giggled mischievously.
"Don't 'hehe' me..." I grumbled, averting my gaze.
During a stop at a rest area, most of us got off the bus to stretch and visit the convenience store. Just as I reached into my bag, I froze.
"I left my white bag on the table!" I groaned, realizing that all my snacks for the trip were still sitting at home.
"I'll grab something from the store," I told Touka.
"Okay! Bring me a Mons E while you're at it," she replied.
"Got it, and tea for me..." I added, heading toward the store.
Inside, I scanned the shelves for snacks. Hiro and his friends were laughing near the drinks section, while my club senpais browsed nearby. That's when I spotted her—Uguisu-senpai.
She stood quietly, her expression as somber as before. Our eyes met briefly, and before I could turn away, her gaze locked onto me. My heart skipped a beat.
I tried to duck behind a snack shelf, but it was too late. She was already walking toward me.
"Sh-Himeya…" Her voice called out to me.
I stopped in my tracks, avoiding her gaze as I forced myself to respond.
"H-Hey…"
"How are you…?" she asked softly.
I... I can't... I can't do this... My thoughts raced as I stood there, paralyzed.
"..."
"Himeya?"
"Sorry, Senpai. I have to go. Touka is waiting for me," I blurted hastily before turning and running away.
I rushed to pay for the snacks I'd picked up and returned to the bus. But when I got there, Touka was nowhere to be seen. I set the snacks on our seats and stepped outside to search for her.
"Where could she be?"
I asked the others, but no one had seen her.
Eventually, I retraced my steps back to the convenience store, and that's when I spotted her. Touka was standing there, talking to Uguisu-senpai. Curious, I hid behind the corner of the building and listened.
"So... he really knew them…" Uguisu-senpai murmured.
"In the first place, Senpai didn't do anything wrong," Touka said firmly.
"But… he's mad at me, isn't he?"
"Mad isn't the right word. He's just… a coward, Senpai."
"Miyako-san…"
"You should be honest with him. Why don't we switch seats?" Touka offered.
"Are you sure…?"
"What of it?"
"Miyako-san, you... you like him too, don't you?"
What?! My heart nearly stopped. Touka... likes me?
"I don't know what Senpai is talking about, haha," Touka laughed nervously.
"All right, now hush, hush," she said playfully, brushing it off.
"Miyako-san... Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Touka replied with a soft smile.
Uguisu-senpai turned to leave, but Touka stayed behind. As I peeked around the corner, I noticed something strange.
"Hic... hic…"
She's crying...?!
"Eh... w-why...? Why am I crying?" Touka murmured to herself, tears streaming down her face. "I... I really fell in love with him… Hic... hic…"
Her trembling voice pierced through me like a blade.
"I'm such an idiot," I muttered to myself, overwhelmed with guilt.
I had been so focused on Uguisu-senpai that I had completely overlooked Touka's feelings. I couldn't leave things like this. I needed to do something—anything—to make it right.
"Touka..." I stepped out from the shadows.
"H-Himeya...?!" She jumped, hastily wiping her tears.
"What are you doing here…?"
I didn't answer. Instead, I closed the distance between us and wrapped her in a hug.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
She trembled in my arms, her quiet sobs shaking my chest.
"Let it all out," I said softly.
I didn't care who might be watching. In this moment, all that mattered was her.
After a while, she calmed down, and we made our way back to the bus. Just as they'd discussed, Touka switched seats with Uguisu-senpai. Now, I was stuck sitting beside Senpai.
"Hey, Himeya. How's your story coming along?" she asked, noticing the manuscript in my hands.
"Ah... it's going okay, I guess," I replied, scratching the back of my neck.
"Can I take a look?"
"Sure, go ahead."
She flipped to the cover and read the title aloud.
"Hmmm… The Transmission Tower Girl, huh?"
She began reading, her expression growing more focused with every page. After a while, she spoke.
"'Please, find it yourself to remember the sunset we saw that day. Under the curtain of night, illuminated by moonlight, we exchanged smiles...'"
"H-Hey!" I protested, flustered. "It's embarrassing hearing you read that out loud!"
"Sorry, sorry," she said with a teasing grin. "But what did you mean by 'find it yourself to remember'?"
"Oh, that. The protagonist has the ability to time leap, but whenever he does, he loses fragments of his memory."
"Wow... He's really trying hard, isn't he?"
"Yeah. You could say that," I replied with a small smile.
Time flies as we talk, and before I realize it, I catch Touka glancing in our direction. Her gaze lingers, but I can't lose sight of my objective just because of that. Soon enough, the bus finally arrives in Kyoto.
After stepping off, everyone lines up and checks their bags. The teachers give us instructions, and we make our way to the homestay. Our groups are divided into five people per room, and, as expected, Hiro and I are grouped together.
"Hey, Shin! I'm looking forward to working with you again," Hiro says, flashing his usual friendly grin.
I nod. "Yeah, same here."
Night falls quickly, and everyone gathers in the lounge for an assignment—to write a poem. While others scribble furiously, my mind feels like a blank slate. I fidget with my pen, struggling to form coherent thoughts.
When the time is up, the first to present is none other than Uguisu-senpai.
"Thank you for allowing me to go first," she begins, holding her paper delicately. Her voice is soft but steady. "Jealousy… It's enviable. They are so graceful. Humans can be such loving creatures. When huma—…"
Before she can finish, her legs buckle.
"Senpai!"
I rush to her side as she collapses, catching her before she hits the floor. Her forehead burns with fever, and beads of sweat cover her face.
"I'll take her back to her room," I say firmly.
"W-wait, Shin! Leave her to me!" Hiro insists, stepping forward.
Ignoring him, I lift Uguisu-senpai in my arms and carry her bridal style out of the lounge. The murmurs of concern from the others fade behind me.
I place her gently on the bed in her room and sit by her side, waiting for her to wake. Her eyelids flutter after a while, and she groggily looks at me.
"H-Himeya...? Why am I here?" she murmurs, her voice weak.
"Senpai, don't move. Stay still. I'll go let the others know you're awake," I say, standing up.
But before I can leave, her hand shoots out and grabs mine tightly.
"No... don't leave me," she pleads, her eyes glassy yet resolute.
I pause, surprised by the raw vulnerability in her voice. "I'm not leaving. I just need to tell them—"
"No, I don't want that..."
"Eh...?" Her words catch me off guard. This side of her—it's rare. Almost fragile.
I sit back down, gripping her hand more gently this time. "I'll stay with you," I reassure her. Reaching out, I pat her head softly, letting her lean into my touch.
"Himeya…"
"What is it?"
"Could you... read your poem to me?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
"It's not that good," I say, scratching the back of my head.
"Even so, I want to hear it," she insists.
I sigh, taking a deep breath. "Alright."
"These feelings make me wish I were a seagull,
So I could deliver them to you through the clouds,
Across the vast sky.
When they finally reach you,
We won't need to overdo it anymore.
As proof of our connection,
I'll hold you tight."
I finish, looking up to see her reaction. She stares at me silently, her lips trembling.
"That's all," I say, trying to downplay my nerves.
She doesn't respond. Instead, tears stream down her cheeks as she grips my hand tighter.
"I'm sorry..." she whispers.
"For what?"
"For hurting you."
Her words hit me like a freight train, and for a moment, I'm speechless.
"I knew it was hard for you... It was hard for me too... to accept everything."
"I..." I try to speak, but the words stick in my throat.
"You already know, don't you?" she asks.
"What...?"
"After graduation, I'm going overseas," she says quietly.
"…Stop," I mutter, but she continues.
"I have to undergo treatment. I don't even know if I'll survive..."
"STOP!" I shout, my voice cracking.
"That's why... I didn't want to make you suffer any more than this."
Without thinking, I pull her into a tight embrace.
"You don't have to force yourself to tell me everything," I say, my voice trembling.
"Himeya…"
"Even if we're separated, even if years go by without seeing each other, the only person I'll think about is you," I said, my voice breaking.
She chuckled weakly. "Looking at you now, all those words of support you've given me… they've filled my world."
I hugged her tighter, tears streaming down my own face. "Uguisu… hic… hic…"
"Himeya… maybe… I've finally arrived at a place called happiness," she said, her voice quivering.
Later, I returned to the group, informing them that Senpai was resting and would be fine. As I took a moment to breathe, Touka approached me.
"How is she?" she asked.
"She's… she's okay. I finally realized that these feelings aren't fake," I said, my voice steady.
Touka gave a small smile. "I see."
"If it weren't for you, Touka… I don't think I could've faced this."
"I know," she said simply.
"Alright, everyone," Hiro's voice cut through the lounge. "It's late. Head back to your rooms."
"Let's call it a day," Touka added.
"Goodnight, Touka."
"Goodnight, Himeya."
I returned to my room with the rest of the group. Most of them were already sound asleep when Hiro's voice broke the silence.
"Hey, Shin, still awake?" he whispered.
"Yeah," I replied, turning to face him. "What is it?"
Hiro hesitated for a moment. "What happened to Senpai? Is she… okay?"
I paused, unsure of how to answer.
"Shin?" he pressed, his voice softer this time.
"Yeah," I finally said. "She's fine now."
"That's good to hear. I just… wanted to make sure," he said, relief evident in his tone.
"Yeah," I murmured, though the weight of the conversation lingered in the air.
Hiro shifted uncomfortably. "Shin…"
"What?"
"Am I… doing something that annoys you?"
I froze. His question caught me off guard.
"I…" I sighed. "Yeah, you kind of are."
"Huh?" His eyes widened in surprise.
"Sometimes, Hiro, you need to face things head-on. You can't keep everything bottled up," I said, my voice firmer than I intended.
"What do you mean?"
I looked at him, wondering if he'd ever noticed it himself. "You're naïve. Way too naïve."
"Really…?" he asked, his voice faltering.
"I don't hold any grudge against you or anything, but that part of you—it's frustrating," I admitted.
"S-sorry," he mumbled, looking away.
"It's fine," I said with a sigh. "We all make mistakes sometimes."
For a moment, silence settled between us, broken only by the soft rustle of the sleeping bags around us.
"I didn't know Shin could talk like this," Hiro said suddenly, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Hey, what do you take me for?" I retorted, trying to sound indignant.
"Pfft… Hahaha," he chuckled.
I couldn't help but laugh along. "Hahaha."
In that moment, something shifted. I realized I had been wrong about him all along. There was more to Hiro than I'd given him credit for.
"Hiro," I said, "you can call me Himeya if you want."
"Oh?" He looked genuinely pleased. "Then, Himeya can call me Hiro. After all, we're friends now."
He smiled, and for the first time, I saw him differently. We weren't so different, after all. That night, I made a new friend—Takamine Hiro, the guy I once thought was nothing but trouble. Now, it felt like I was looking into a mirror.
"Get some sleep," I said. "We don't want to be late tomorrow."
"Yeah… Goodnight, Himeya," he said, his voice softer than before.
As I closed my eyes, thoughts swirled in my mind. Was the path I'd chosen the right one?
"Do you regret your choice?"
A familiar voice startled me.
"Haruka?" I turned to see my sister standing by the door.
"Do you?" she repeated, her gaze piercing.
"I… I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely audible. "Maybe I'm the naïve one."
Haruka smiled faintly. "We'll see, won't we?"
Before I could respond, she disappeared like a fleeting shadow. When I glanced outside, the first rays of sunlight were already breaking through the horizon.
The day's agenda was set. Our committee was tasked with researching Kyoto's rich literary heritage. Unfortunately, Uguisu had been excused—she was still recovering and had been told to rest by the senpais.
After completing our assignments, we were given free time to explore the city. I glanced around the group, looking for a familiar face.
"Himeya, looking for someone?" Hiro asked, noticing my restlessness.
"Yeah. Have you seen Touka?"
"Miyako-san? I think she headed toward the main center," he said.
"Thanks," I said, giving him a quick nod before hurrying off.
At the main center, I heard raised voices coming from the crowd.
"What are you doing, taking photos of someone without permission?!" a man barked.
"Huh?! This is a tourist spot, old man! I can take pictures if I want!" a girl shot back.
I pushed through the gathering crowd and found Touka locked in a heated argument with an older man.
"There you are," I said, stepping beside her and taking her hand.
"H-Himeya?" she stammered, clearly surprised to see me.
"What's this now? Another brat?" the old man grumbled.
"Sorry, sir," I said, keeping my tone calm. "She was just taking pictures of the architecture. It's her first time in Kyoto."
"Then let me see her phone!"
"Wow, forcing a teenager to hand over her phone? Is this how things work here?" I said, loud enough for the murmuring crowd to hear.
The onlookers began whispering among themselves, casting judgmental glances at the man.
"Touka, now!" I said, tightening my grip on her hand.
We bolted through the crowd before the man could react.
As we ran, Touka tripped over a rock and fell hard onto the pavement.
"Ugh…" she groaned, clutching her knee.
"Hey, are you okay?" I crouched beside her, examining the scrape on her leg.
"Just… my knee," she said, wincing.
Without hesitation, I knelt down and offered her my back.
"Come on, grab on," I said.
"Himeya…" Her voice trembled, but she placed her hands on my shoulders.
I hoisted her up and carried her, the world falling silent around us.
"...Thank you," she whispered after a long pause.
For a moment, neither of us said anything more.
"Why did you come…?" Touka asked, her voice trembling slightly.
"Because… I was worried," I replied, my words hesitant.
"Nobody asked you to come, you know," she said, turning her gaze away from me.
I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say.
"Hey, answer me…" she pressed, her voice softer now. "Are you being kind to me because of… pity?"
"I…" The words caught in my throat. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't find the right way to explain myself.
"Don't… don't keep being kind to me, Himeya…" she said, her voice breaking.
When I turned to face her, I was startled. Her cheeks were flushed red, like ripe tomatoes, and tears glistened in her eyes, threatening to spill over.
"If you keep being kind to me…" she sobbed, her voice shaking, "my feelings will misunderstand… 'sob'… 'sob'…"
I stood frozen. The weight of her words crushed any response I could muster.
"Hey…" she said again, her voice cracking. "Why won't you answer me, Himeya?"
We stopped at one of the temples in Kyoto. The view was breathtaking, a picturesque scene bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. Gently, I set Touka down. She stood beside me for a moment before collapsing against me, her shoulders shaking as she cried into mine.
'Sob'… 'sob'…
"Sorry…" she murmured between her tears.
For a while, neither of us spoke. The silence enveloped us like a warm blanket under the cooling evening sky.
"…It was because I was worried," I finally said.
"Huh?" Touka looked up at me, her tear-streaked face filled with confusion.
"I was scared… scared that I would fail…"
"Fail? Fail at what?" she asked, her brows knitting together.
I hesitated. I couldn't explain. Not about her future. Not about Uguisu-senpai's future.
"It's… something precious to me," I said at last.
"Himeya…" she whispered.
"Hey, Touka…" I turned to her. "Don't you know why I came for you?"
"I… I don't," she admitted, her voice barely audible.
"Yes, I was worried about you. But… there's more to it than that. I care about you. Not because I pity you. Not out of obligation. I want to be with you, Touka. But…" I paused, the words catching in my throat, "I just… can't."
"H-Himeya…" Her tears spilled over again, running freely down her cheeks.
"Have you ever wondered why someone like me—a loner—would want to get involved with you?"
Her lip quivered. "I…"
"It's because I care about you. Not just you, but also her…" I said, my voice trembling.
"Uguisu-senpai?" she asked.
I nodded.
"I can't help it… I just… I just want you both to be safe," I confessed.
"But I didn't even ask you, Himeya," she said, her voice heavy with emotion.
"Touka…" I sighed. "I don't know if I'm selfish or not, but sometimes… you have to share your burdens with others."
"I won't…" she said, shaking her head.
"Huh?"
"I won't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't have anything to do with you," she said stubbornly.
"It's not about whether it involves me or not," I argued. "It's about whether you want help."
"I don't think so," she countered. "I never asked for help in the first place."
"Why does it always have to—"
Before I could finish, she broke down again, her sobs cutting me off.
"…Touka…"
"Himeya… you shouldn't think about it. You shouldn't worry about me. You should worry more about Uguisu-senpai. If you don't… she might go away. Far… far away…"
Her voice grew quieter with every word, fading into the night air.
"That has nothing to do with this," I said firmly. "I'm saying this because I'm worried about you."
"F… far… far away…" she repeated, her voice barely audible.
"Don't tease me while crying… It's hard to respond to that," I said, forcing a faint smile.
"…Sorry," she whispered.
Time slipped away unnoticed as we talked, the night wrapping around us like a velvet curtain. By the time we returned to the homestay, we were met by the other committee members.
"Oh-ho! Mr. Handsome, how was your date?" one of the seniors teased, a playful smirk on their face.
"It wasn't a date," I said flatly.
"Uuuh, not a date, huh?" they replied, their teasing tone making my face burn with embarrassment.
And so, the night passed with laughter and joy—though Uguisu-senpai, standing silently nearby, said nothing.