I bolted towards the therapy location as I am know late. I shouldn't have distraction myself with videos to pass the time. Know I am late and I am in no mood for the University's Principal start nagging at me. I groaned out as I just kept running like crazy. I couldn't even order an Uber as there was no driver near by. I am so annoyed and all I want is to get this therapy over with so I can get back to my room and listen to rain sounds. It's so soothing. I even use those natural sounds for when I am doing my assignments and projects.
University can be fun. When it wants to be. I am very anti social. Only social when I have a group project and that's it. I sighed out and just looked around confused as I had to look at my phone to find the other direction. I almost went the wrong way. I groaned out as I looked forward and noticed no cars. 'YES!' Before starting to run again I looked at both sides and saw no cars.
I hurriedly crossed the street and just kept running. Going pass people and so on. I was a minute away from the appointment and I felt very excited. I looked down as my phone vibrated. A warning message if I don't arrive in the next twenty minutes. But am just a minute away and twenty minutes is there no other patient today? I hate going to therapy.
I bumped into someone and we looked at each other. His hot. I almost tripped but I stabilized myself and kept running. Am almost there. That man looked familiar. Fuck I forgot to write down the dream. This therapist will give me a headache for it. Only one street to go. The building is right there. I stopped as cars were spending by. I bounced a little as I was impatient. I was heavy breathing in the end. I took in a deep breath. The light turned red. 'Yes!' I looked both side and saw nothing moving. All cars stopped. None coming this direction. So I bolted forward as I exhaled. I needed to make it quick. That University is annoying as hell. After a little I finally arrived and I stopped running. Gasping for air as I am completely panting.
I ran for so long. I know I can run but this distance. Damn. I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest. I opened the door to reveal the lobby. The woman typing away in her computer so I gently walked forward. The place is empty. That's a first.
"Alright I am here... Appointment for Scarlet Rose... 12:30..." I announced out of breath
"Go on ahead Miss Rose... Dr. Lin is expecting you..." The secretary tells me without looking up
I rolled my eyes and just walked towards the same old plain pearl white room. Pictures of the ocean and a dream realm galaxy mix. The room is calming. It has a fix tank with different colored fish. It had small shrimp and a tiger fish. It was a weird mix. If I remember it's a salt water tank. I opened the door to see Dr. Lin on her desk scribbling away. I didn't care. I noticed the small rock fountain in her desk. It had a slight blue light. Is she getting more patients. I know some jobs the more patients and customers they have the fancier and more expensive are the things around them.
I sighed out and just sat down in my usual spot as she just placed her pen down. I saw the view of the building next door and it was as plain and dirty as the last time I saw it. She looks at me with indifference in her eyes and I just felt completely out of place. But deep in my mind I can't get that man out of my head. He looks completely handsome. Then looks similar to what I have been dreaming lately. My scar has been aching as well and it was making it hard to even breath lately. All I want is to just relax and stay away from spilling out my emotions to this woman. She is always fascinated to how I am feeling and my past history. Even the weird dreams of my past.
I looked at her as her eyes look so curiously at me. I just hate that about her. I didn't want to be here more. But I hate my university and their stupid worriedness. If my mother found out about this
"Alright... Let's get started..." she says as she grabs her portfolio
"I am slowly starting to hate this moments between us Doc..." I tell her as I look at the roof
I rested my back against her couch and she just chuckles "Oh I know you will miss me... You only got two more visits with me... So come on... What's on your mind today?"
"The dream is back... My scar has been aching more and more... The dream feels more and more real... I just can't handle it... I feel like going to the hospital and getting my scar checked" I tell her as I close my eyes
"Interesting... Did something change in your dream?" she asked gently
I sighed out and just moved my eyes while having my eye lips closed basically as I say "This time... This time... In my dream... I was able to view more of it... But I still can't see how I or whoever is in my dream dies... I get carried by the person or myself known friend or whatever... I don't actually know completely"
"Interesting... I think your depression is placing you in some a repetitive dream... A cycle telling you someone will stab you but being that it is not showing you who will be stabbing you it may be meaning that you are hurting yourself and hurting your own self to protect someone" she explains a little bit
I opened my eyes and I sat straight to look at her a bit annoyed "Protect someone? I have nobody to protect!"
The Doc looks at me in shock and I just felt completely annoyed now. She is sitting there saying that I am protecting someone and I am stabbing myself. I have nobody to protect. I can't even fully protect myself. My mother is in some other location as she is with the rest of my sisters. Crazy bunch. My mother is a good woman and did her very best but like any family member they get very annoying.
I stand up and the Doc looks a bit afraid at me. I looked at her confused. Why is she afraid of me? I can't even hit her without hurting my own knuckles. I only know how to escape from locks or kidnappings. Not actual moments of hurting someone. I now I may look heavier than her skinny ass but I never expected her to be the way she is. So interested in my life and yet so confused at how I am. This recurring dreams are so getting annoying and I want it all to stop. I want it all to stop already.
It's starting to get painful and now I barely made it to the part where whoever is the one looking just like me. Whoever is that in my dream looks just like me except more thinner. She doesn't have the same body type like me. But her hair and her eyes. She is a bit more tan than I am. I looked at the doc as she writes down something and then just glances at me once in a while. It is completely annoying and I don't understand any of it. I want it all to stop but I have to deal with this. I just hope I just end it all.
I just didn't understand anything so I spoke "I have been coming to this appointments for this amount of time... This would be like what second?"
"Eighth..." she responds quickly
"Oh great... Eight appointments in and you seem so interested in my personal dreams so firmly" I tell her as I stand behind the seat
"It is my job... I need to help you in any way I can" she says as she closes her portfolio
"Yeah like the other I went to... She was a great help" I say as I rolled my eyes
I crossed my arms as she spoke "Wait... We were never notified about another Psychologist"
"This one was a secret... But I am a grown adult and I was never prescribed anything..." I tell her with raised eye brow
"Alright... Something between family... Are you alright with telling me what happened?" she asked me as she opened her portfolio again
I sighed out and I just blurted it out "It's when it all started... Those dreams... I could see myself as this woman walking around and just having fun with other little kids... They were like memories... As I grew up so did the person in my dreams"
She looks at me completely confused amazed even as she speaks gently "So as you grow up the dream becomes a part of your age range?"
I sat back down on the couch and answered "Basically..."
"You never write it down?" she asked once again
"No..." I answered plainly
The doc smiles gently and says "Try getting yourself a journal... I know that our next appointment might be our last but I want to recommend this to you as we have improved a lot in our sessions..."
I blinked as I felt confused and I say "Why do I need a journal?"
"To write down whenever this happens... Maybe writing it down will make you forget about it and you might stop dreaming about these dreams... Can you remember the time period this time?" she asked as she started writing away again
I sighed out and just looked at the roof remembering the clothing and I explained "Maybe around the 1400's or 1500's I don't know... The clothing was so old fashion and some of the words they would say I couldn't understand... The houses looked even weird... As if they can crumble at any moment... There was no cellphone or anything revolving technology with how everything looked so maybe around that time"
She looks at me and says "Interesting..."
I looked at her and just scoffed.
The song Deja Vu from 30H!3. Great this is getting into an annoying loop. I feel like I need to be attentive to something but I don't what it is.
I hate all of this.