Are you sure you will be okay today?" asked Arielle in front of my room this morning.
"Everything will be fine, Arielle, I promise. I'm fine, so you don't have to worry about me." I replied, convincing Arielle.
"Fine, but you must tell me immediately if you feel something."
"Understand."
This morning's class will be so busy because I have to work on a project assignment for the end of this semester. A collection of clothes turned out to be not as easy as I imagined when I was first told about this task.
I was so lucky because Arielle helped me a lot. Do you know? Taking a college major that is 180° different from what I learned during 3 years at high school is the same as starting over from scratch. Honestly, I've often heard the phrase 'stupid' every time I tell my story to other people, but I don't care, everyone has made a big decision in their life and the big decision in my life is to do something that I am 100% sure I can do.
Don't you think I regret studying management for 3 years, I'm not.
Before I never had a dream, when I was in elementary school I studied hard and got the best grades when I graduated, but I don't have a dream.
I applied and was accepted into the junior high school I wanted but was forced to transfer to the school my mom wanted, then screwed up for 3 years and graduated disgracefully, and I have no dreams.
After ruining my junior high school, I didn't have any goals for high school, well, actually there were, but papa was against my school of choice, even though my sister went to school there, so mom chose a vocational high school for me, it was difficult at first, I never imagined about being in vocational high school before, but after hating school for so long, there I rediscovered the feeling I used to feel when I was in elementary school.
I again felt an interest in something, felt challenged to get something done, and felt a great desire to master something.
If you ask, then why take a course that has absolutely nothing to do with it? You're so wrong. Fashion is not something that has nothing to do with management, I love everything I learn in management too much, but it's too much and doesn't have one clear purpose, I mean management is broad.
So I chose something that caught my attention as much as management does and combined this two.
And here I am with all the dreams that I finally have, making a fashion collection with crazy ideas and visualizations that I made myself, having a fashion magazine with my concept and layout design, a campaign that I direct myself, and a fashion company with my name. at the very top of the building.
I don't want half measures, I want a complete package, mastering everything related to what I do.
You can laugh, but that's my dream.
"What do you want for lunch later?" asked Arielle in the middle of the lesson.
"I brought lunch today," I answered.
"You know that you have medicine to take so you inevitably have to eat something right this afternoon." Arielle reminded.
"Yeah, I know Arielle, thanks for reminding me," I answered then returned to focus on the blackboard.
During lunch in the cafeteria, Jeffyin sent me a message.
I can't accompany you to lunch today.
K(: I reply too short.
There's something I have to do.
(:, my reply is not much different from the previous one.
Please say something, I feel so guilty.
:*
After that, I received an incoming call from Jeffyin.
"Hey, what's up?" I asked.
"I love you," he said, I could hear a faint crowd behind him.
"I know," I said sure, he was laughing on the other end. "I was having lunch in the cafeteria with the others."
"What's the menu?" he asked.
"Strawberry pie and honey tea."
"Pie? Where did you get that?" Jeffyin wanted to know.
"A friend gave me it this morning," I explained, but I didn't say who gave it. Well, the bag was hanging on my door, I knew it was from Deanis because there was a card with his name on it.
"Very well, does it taste good?"
"Really, I like it," I said excitedly.
"Don't forget to eat your medicine after finishing the pie, I have to do something, can I hang up the phone?"
"Yeah, don't forget your lunch." I reminded and then the call ended.
"Is it Traynor?" asked Gallant as I put down my phone. He was trying to put a lot of french fries in his mouth.
"Yep."
"Aubrey, read this," Tom said then gave him his cell phone.
Make sure you see Aubrey take her meds or I'll kick your ass!
I burst out laughing after reading the message, "Is he always like this? Threatening his friends." I asked then handed Tom's phone back.
"Never for girls. He's crazy about you," said El easily. I glanced at El, she put on a mischievous smiling face.
"So you just let it slide?" Arielle asked me.
"He already explained what needed to be explained, and I accepted it," I explained.
"Did something happen between you and Traynor?" Damien was also curious. I saw the others waiting for my answer.
"Nothing, just a misunderstanding," I explained.
"You're too innocent, Aubrey," said Arielle.
"It's not like that, Arielle." I tried to explain.
"I just don't want you to get hurt, they are all equally assholes." I realized something from the sentence that Arielle said, she was hurt by Tom.
I immediately glanced at Tom that second, he looked at Arielle with an expression that I can't explain.
"Wow, you are something, Miss Brigitta," Damien said, I could tell he was trying not to be awkward.
I firmly gripped Arielle's hand, "I know you care, thanks for that."
"Well, friends protect each other."
We immediately returned to class after lunchtime ended, there was a big presentation waiting for me in the next class.
***
"Instagram is so busy right now, all of them speak in English," said Jullian on the phone. I was sitting in the park near the library, as usual.
"Kind of," I answered proudly.
"So now you have a lot of friends?" he asked, I heard the voices of some people talking there.
"Well, just getting to know or eating together in the cafeteria," I explained, I played with the chino sitting on my toes.
"That's great,"
"Not bad, when all of them are there, it can be very noisy." My story is passionate.
"All the girls? asked Jullian curiously.
"It's random"
"The people keep changing?" asked Jullian again, he seemed interested in my friends.
"No, that's all. It's just the two of them, then you get to know one of them, so it's going to be introduced to all of them, and now they're together all the time." explain as short as possible.
So it's like a gang, right?"
"No, it's not"
I felt an arm around my shoulder and a kiss on the top of my head. "Hey," said Jeffyin.
"Is it late in there?" asked Julian.
"Half eleven," I answered. Jeffyin was lying on a park bench, his head resting on my lap. I can see he's irritated because of my phone call with someone.
"Are you in your room?" asked Jullian again, slowly the noise of the people there disappeared.
"No, outside, in the garden," I explained. I lightly pinched Jeffyin's smiling cheek. Oh my God, I like this man.
"Alone, at night?" Jullian sounded worried, but I might be wrong.
"No, someone accompanied me," I answered. My fingers moved slowly around all over Jeffyin's face, eyes, nose, and lips.
"Ohh, I thought. Just one person?" Jullian laughed a little there.
"Yep."
"Introduce me to her pleaseeeee, isn't she beautiful?" Jullian's voice sounded more excited.
I looked at Jeffyin's face and saw those thick eyelashes. "Beautiful, you sure?" I offered to Jullian.
"Yeah, but I can't speak French," said Jullian, this time he finally laughed.
"Just say hi," I forced him, laughing a little at hearing him laugh.
"Alright," Jullian relented.
"Ehh, but he's a boy," I said with a laugh that finally broke. Jeffyin made a sullen face at me, his lips pursed slightly.
"Gosh, boy? You said he was pretty." Jullian laughed there.
"He's pretty," I replied. I covered Jeffyin's lips with my hand, pressing the lips that he had brought forward.
"Is him a real man?" asked Jullian with a few leftover laughter, I miss his laugh.
"Hundred percent, I've been checking him." I joked even more. I felt a brief peck on the palm of my hand that covered Jeffyin's lips.
"Hahaha, how do you check it?" asked Jullian curiously.
"It's a secret, are you going to say Hi to him?" I again offered Jeffyin to Jullian. Jeffyin held my hand tightly and the kiss didn't stop he gave.
"No, no, no. Let's just end this, Ness, I want to take a shower."
"Bye," I said and ended the call.
At that moment Jeffyin took my cell phone and took it away. I saw him fiddling with something there, "What are you doing, Jeffyin?" I asked.
I picked up Chino at the tips of my feet, moving her onto my lap.
"You call him almost every day Rain?" he asked irritated, I didn't respond at all to the question, preferring to stroke Chino who was trying to sleep.
Jeffyin sat back next to me, his eyes still focused on my phone, I don't know what he was doing. I lifted my leg, then put it on Jeffyin's lap, I straightened it to the end of the bench.
"If I asked who he is and the people whose names are in your favorite contacts on your phone, would you answer them?" he asked seriously.
"Maybe," I answered, not really responding to his question.
"Okay, I won't ask," he said.
"Just ask," I challenged him.
"Who are you calling?" investigate me.
"My best friend," I answered simply.
"One of the OURs?" he asked, Jeffyin taking off his jacket and covering my exposed legs.
"No," I answered, I touched the ends of his hair.
"Is he a man? From his name it's clear he's a man." his tone sounded so irritated.
"Can't I have male friends?"
"It's not like that. Do you like him?" Jeffyin asked quite surprised me.
"I loved him once, and probably still love him." I'm being honest.
"Have you two been in a serious relationship? I mean, were you two dating?" he asked looking straight into my eyes, his blue eyes shining brightly.
"We're not,"
"Does he know you love him?" Jeffyin asked wanting to know more.
"He knows."
"Then?" he asked. Jeffyin brushed a few strands of hair off my face, moving them behind my ear.
"You want to know the story? It's probably going to be very long."
"I'll listen."
"He and I went to the same school," I started to say, "We are best friends, he is also good friends with OUR, then I fell in love, but he accidentally found out, then he said he loved me too, but he also said we can't be together After that, my relationship with him became more distant."
"He's stupid," Jeffyin commented.
"What do you mean?"
"At least he should give you a chance, I mean you should try, if it doesn't have a happy ending, at least you've tried to fight for how you feel, I can guarantee he's lying about loving you," he said, my heart beat so fast hearing it, my tears almost fell remembering about Jullian.
"Maybe he just cares, doesn't love me."
"Whatever it is, you two feel comfortable with each other, he's too selfish to only think about his feelings," he said, I couldn't help but smile at his angry expression.
"It's not like that, Jeffyin. He has his reasons, I try to understand and respect that." I try to provide understanding.
"Lies," he knew. I couldn't contain the sadness anymore.
"Then he became my best friend's boyfriend, not OUR, someone else." I continue the story.
"Fuck." he cursed.
"Stupid I still love him," I said, and the tears finally fell.
"Yes, you are stupid," Jeffyin said, his fingers wiping my tears.
"Then I became his best friend's girlfriend, but still loved him, he didn't know that then I ended up going here, to forget him." I end this sad story.
"How long have you liked him?"
"3 years I love him," I answered. I don't want to lie to anyone anymore, I love him.
"It's hard to compete with him," he said feeling defeated, "What about your boyfriend? Do you love him?"
"He expressed his feelings." I replied, "I give myself a chance, to love other people. I also want my happiness, with people who love me." I stammered, remembering how selfish I was. "At that time I knew very well what it was like to love someone but not loved back, so I thought I didn't want to make other people feel the same." how stupid I am.
"How long have you two been together?" Jeffyin wanted to know.
"One year."
"Did you finally love him?"
"I don't know, I care about him, he makes me feel better. But it was my fault, I shouldn't have involved him. I hurt him." I feel sorry, even though it's meaningless.
"Can I get the same chance?" said Jeffyin stupid.
"I could have hurt you as much as I hurt him," I reveal the truth,
"I can take the risk." there was no doubt there when Jeffyin said it.
"Why is it so easy for you to say? You should consider this carefully." I suggest.
"I like you, that's reason enough," said Jeffyin so sure. If only the person I loved was him.
I looked up at the sky, "Right, that's reason enough." I agree, it's the same excuse I used to maintain my love for Jullian for 3 years.
"I believe if you dare to love someone it means you are also ready to be hurt," he said as he looked up at the sky. "I forgot where I read it," he said again.
I laughed, "I forgot that you study literature."
"Okay, now it's time to go back to your room. It's too late for you to be outside, Rain." Jeffyin took off his jacket at my feet and stood up.
"I'm not a baby, Jeffyin," I replied annoyed. Jeffyin tightens his jacket on my body.
"Yes, you are a baby." He said while rubbing the top of my head.
Jeffyin escorted me to my room, the two of us enjoying the cold night air while holding hands tightly.
"Can I join the nite club with you?" I asked as we arrived at my door.
"Wait until you're tall enough." He answered while gently touching the tip of my nose.
"I mean it, can I?"
"I'll think about it." The answer is weighing.
"Good night, Jeffyin." Goodbye and a kiss on the cheek.