Hearing the news, I completely broke down both mentally and physically.
Secluded in my dark room, I became a nocturnal creature, only leaving in the darkest pit of the night to sustain myself with a minimal amount of food and water. (A/N: Cause I know ya'll will ask this, the bathroom is connected to his room.)
But, on one of my midnight excursion, during another torrential downpour, I came across shocking news.
Peeking into the still lit kitchen, I heard my dad and mom talking to each other in furtive whispers.
"What are we going to do about Fukui? That child is a problem."
"What do you mean? Can't you tell that the child is broken! He just needs love and time."
"But he can't just stay like that forever, he needs to go back to school so that he can live a normal life."
"So let's just tell him that Yua is still alive!"
"Are you kidding me! He's still a kid! He can't hear about state secrets!"
After hearing this, the rest of the conversation was a blur, as I froze and stared into the distance, just listening to the bits and pieces whilst my mind fell into shambles.
I learned that the government that the Shidos used to spy for had somehow learned about Yua's talent, so they had extracted her back to their country to train and use her.
Noticing that their conversation was about to end, I rushed back to my room, curling up in a ball in one of the corners whilst covering my ears, trying to stop my uncontrollable shaking.
'S-s-she, she's still alive?"
As frenzied thoughts rushed in and out of my consciousness, I unknowingly started packing up my things.
Taking our game down, I stored it on a flash drive before deleting everything on my computer and secretly leaving the house.
Somehow, my little sister had still been awake, the lights in her room on, as she stared out the window, and so I had seen her face as the last thing before I left, flickering in the heavy downpour as I started running down the street.
I naively thought that I would somehow get a plane ticket, somehow leave the country, somehow access the information, and somehow find my way to Yua.
But, as I soon found out days later, a 15 year old kid running away from home to try to find his friend with no preparations was a lot like a fish out of water.
Refusing the thoughts of going back home, I joined a gang in the slums to keep myself afloat, becoming their hacker.
And this was what brought me here to this moment.
'So, all the memories that I've been working off of the past few years have just been made up? So that I could cope with my sorrows? Honestly, I'm just a loser who can't accept his situation.'
So know, I knew that I hadn't been shunned by my family, there was no betrayal, there was no fights, and there was no throwing me out, I had just left on my own.
'I really was a real dummy.'
And now, I realized that the timeline of events in my life was completely messed up, the 10 years between me leaving the house and the start of the real life game was just spent tweaking the game, making it more perfect, and working for the gang, doing despicable things.
A look of realization and acceptance came upon my face as I stared up, at what could only be described as the "sky" of my subconsciousness.
'So, in reality, I did nothing productive those 10 years.'
'I didn't try and find Yua.'
'I didn't come back to my family.'
'I didn't try to regain my emotions back.'
'I hacked.'
'I got high.'
'I killed.'
'I lost everything and gained nothing.'
'I'm probably the shittiest bastard the trash of this world has to offer.'
I now finally realized I had tears flowing down my cheeks.
'I'm sorry Yua, for not being there, for not trying, for being a failure that couldn't do anything. I'm sorry...'
I fell down to my knees and wept with my face in my hands, the swells of my chest pulsing with the hearts of the gods.
[The Sovereign Queen calls you a loser for not planning anything out, but sheds a tear with you.]
[The Keeper of the Night, who is always a sucker for emotions, weeps along with you, for your sad love story.]
[The One Who Carried the Sky, The Heavenly Demon, The Abyssal King, The Blood Bathing Demon, and The Immortal Magician all gift you 100 TC's out of pity for your sad past and for your dumb state of denial.]
[The Creator assures you that parts of your memories that have been played out have been censored from the other gods.]
The sounds of the notifications were the only harmony to my symphony of weeping.
I kneeled there in the silence, my head in the puddle of water forming under me, banging my clenched fist on the floor of the space I was in.
Of course, I never saw these notifications until after the water stopped flowing from my eyes, and my mental state recovered again.
...
Well anyways, after I was done brutally beating myself mentally, for hours, I got back to the task at hand, as what I had just learned didn't change the fact that I was still fighting a life and death game in this tower that I had made, wait no, we had made.
'Could that person be...? Well, no use in thinking about it now.'
'Now, how do I "come to terms" with these memories?'
But, after asking this in my head, the answer came less than a second later.
A searing pain, like a branding with a steel poker, came and went, like the light of the last embers in a fire pit.
Afterwards, I had two different sets of memories in my cognizance.
The ones that I had made up, and the ones that were real, the ones that had been repressed.
[Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!, Player "Shinubwa" has passed the (SSS) Rank Job Selection Test and has come to terms with his repressed memories!]
[Searching for a suitable job...]
[Processing...]
[Processing...]
[Processing...]
[Ding! Player "Shinubwa" was been awarded the (SSS) class job Undying.]
[World Wide Announcement: Player "Anonymous" has become the first player to clear the 5th floor!]
[Your fame has increased.]
[World Wide Announcement: Player "Anonymous" has become the first player to clear the gain a job!]
[Your fame has increased.]
[The conclusion is complete, teleporting Player "Shinubwa" to Floor 6: Frozen Grounds]
A white light engulfed me.