There's blood everywhere, flying limbs,screams, painful howls.
It seems familiar. All; too familiar.
And strange is that i don't feel like myself it's as I'm on four legs. Although it's dark like the middle of a sorrowful night, I can see each & everything clearly.
Suddenly all of it is fading & I sense the change in my surrounding I'm now on my two again I feel like myself..
But something is wrong it's awfully painful I can feel it in my chest.
I clutch my chest and crumble to the ground.
When I let my hands touch the ground there's something like water but it's too thick to be water.
I slowly lift my hands to look and i see blood. . Thick as mud as red as berries it's not human blood I guess; but no, I see a dead body.
That guy! Its him! He.. he's here!
I feel the pain not anywhere else but my heart's aching for him again.
I extend a hand to touch him to bring him close to me..
He's going farther away from my reach. .
Why, I see him drowning. . I want to save him I take a run for him but I'm too far from him he's drowning in the pool of Blood!
That painful screaming that. . .that ache in my heart.
I can't bear it anymore I'm having trouble breathing. . It's dark too dark for anyone to like.
I want help. . So I scream. I scream for the pain I feel. I scream so that someone can take me from this place. Help me! Please! Someone..
There's something or someone I sense is standing away from me watching me in pain but isn't helping me, why is that?
He is or maybe she is smirking evilly.
And I think I'm gonna die I remember I can't breath its dark again.
.
.
.
I wake up with a jolt. All sweating and inhaling mouthful of air for the love of god. Like i was just about to die.
What was that about I keep thinking of that guy. But its strange you know finding yourself in the middle of swarming dead bodies.
And the person. The screaming the feeling of pain and suffering.
I don't even know the guy for gods sake.
I'll get an headache with this much of thinking.
I should just ask Ana. Yes, that would be simple as that.
I passed out on her I guess. Because when I look around I'm in the room I had lunch in & on the sofa with a blanket. . Hmmmm...
Ana must be knowing something. . Or everything.
Get ready for the hunt!
Now, where did that came from..
And the line sounds something I've heard before. ..
Ok now enough of your babbling you're giving me an headache. . Which is your own head. Get your lazy ass up you idiot.
And here she goes. Oh, you know the voice inside my head...
I need sanity and for that i need Ana.
I walk out from the room I took a nap in. And find Ana just out there.
"Hey, Ana". She get startled by my voice. She was facing the look through mirror of the store.
"Hey, Emma. Feeling good? Ya need something?" She asks very politely.
You have time for that later get on with your questions.
"Yeah, yeah. Fine Master".
"So I wanted to ask you something. Well if you don't mind". I was trying to be polite too.
"Ask away. Anything. Oh! I literally forgot to tell you about you". And again she starts laughing then reality hits her maybe and she tries to compose herself.
"Sorry Emma. It was funny don't you think". I smile at her I really think it was funny and laugh a little. Now she is the one smiling.
"So you know your name, Emmaline Fox well now only Emmaline I know your full name." And she's looking at me expectantly. I know she wants me to ask her more.
So I ask her just what's nagging me from that night.
"Ana, who's that guy?". I realize she doesn't know about whom I'm talking here.
"He... He was Mark. Mark Fox our packs Alpha". I look at her stunned not because she knew about whom I was asking. But his last name is, well.. was Fox. My last name is..was.. according to Ana, Fox which means....?
"Yes he was your husband. I know it's too much to take in at the moment you'll get everything straight I trust you. Emma you'll be fine".
She cuts me off of my reverie. God she knows everything about me.
Focus.. its important.
And I feel it.
Ana's looking at me warily. She's waiting for me to answer or say something. I want to but I just can't find appropriate words that can define what I feel.
"Husband". My voice comes out in a squeak but like a whisper.
I clear my throat and speak with confidence this time I square my shoulders I'm ready for this. It's important.
"Husband, how? When, I mean I don't remember any of that. Is that even possible. Hell! I can't remember if I was born". I strangle a sigh out of my mouth. And try to remember that it's whatever the thing is it is very important.
"I can tell you later. I don't know if you can take all of it. It's really a long long story. I understand you feel sleepy alot it's all a part of what has happened and what's going to in the future" she leans forward and squeezes my knee lightly. With that she gets off the cushion and with a quick glance at me she walks out leaving me with my own self.
I just nod. Ok I know how much I think I am ready I'm not. Really I need to process all this info I just got.
My mind is buzzing with anxiety or what I don't know. It's hard to just accept something so new but oh so old. It all has been with me from my very beginning. And I'm sure there's lot more.