"You think that makes me happy? Knowing what kind of hell she had to go through because of me? And now she got even worse and I couldn't help her with that no matter how much I wanted to. I am helpless. I'm a coward to leave her behind!"
I couldn't help but let out all the anger, frustration, and rage I had bottled up within me all the time.
I couldn't help but blame myself for all of this. Only if I had thought differently. Only if I was able to see through the traps. But that was a thing I didn't manage to do and now I regret it more than anything.
I wished I could get another chance like any other loser breathing on this planet earth. Pathetic? I knew it. There was no such thing as a second chance. Believe it when it comes out of my mouth I left centuries and centuries. Yet I never got that one chance.
Damage was done. There was no good cry over the spilled milk and hope for a miracle. There's no such thing as a miracle.
