I woke up in my room.
Why? How?
Then, a soft melody walked into my mind gracefully, making me jump up from the bed.
Piano!
I slammed my door open, and then the Guardian's door open, and gasped when I saw him playing piano, so wonderfully, my heart skipped a beat. I watched him intently.
He stopped, and I whined, "Why'd you stop? Play? No, wait, since I am here I wanted to ask for my phone, also, what about my college? Also," I ran to him, and sat beside him. "Can you teach me piano?"
His lips curved up at my rambling. And I slapped my forehead mentally. What was I even doing? This wasn't like me at all. No. I had stopped chasing dreams, being excited and happy. Why should I? It would all just crash down again.
"Nevermind." I whispered, getting up.
"Are you gonna give up, Fiery?" His voice, dripping honey, stopped me. Fiery? My cheeks heated up for no reason. This feeling and name felt strangely familiar.
He paused, his eyes searching mine, it was as if he saw past my walls and into the depths of my soul. "Funny, isn't it?" he said, his voice soft and filled with a mixture of nostalgia and hope. "There was a time when you were filled with fire and passion. When you believed in the power of your dreams."
My eyes widened. "How?"
He just said two words, "Your guardian."
I stared into his eyes with heavy confusion. I had never seen him in my life. How did he know so much about me as much as I hated to accept it?
"I can teach how to play piano. It's gonna be enjoyable. Just enjoy it. And it'll help you improving many areas of well, yourself." He eyed me up and down.
I flinched at his action. That disgust of myself feeling took over me as I rubbed my arm nervously.
"I don't want to." I murmured. I didn't know if I could tolerate him that much to sit for a piano lesson. Plus, he eyed me like everyone did. I didn't blame him, but I felt uncomfortable.
He must've noticed me getting weird because he asked, "What is it?"
"Nothing. I don't want to play piano. It doesn't mean anything, anyway." I was about to go away when he held my hand, and I jolted and pulled back my hand.
"Selene, what happened?" Concern etched on his face.
It was a lie. I shouldn't trust him. Why was I trusting him? Had I not learned from my past mistakes. I had to hide, I wanted to lock myself inside but he held my wrist again. My breaths got heavier. I tried to pull back but it was too tight.
"It's me. It's me. It's me. I won't hurt you."
"I told you it's nothing. Just leave me alone!" I yelled at him, tears welling up in my eyes.
He let me go, once he looked into my eyes. "You have to let the past go, Selene."
"Past doesn't let me go." I answered, turning around.
"See this clearly. You have to know how to overcome it," He spoke, his voice gentle, as he came closer to me. I tried pushing him away, when I was locked between him and wall, but he didn't budge.
Tears dropped from my eyes, "I don't want to stay here! You're just like the rest of them! Go away!"
Before I could stop myself, my hand flew right to his cheek. He winced, hurt flashing across his face, before it turned into something angry.
"You love punching me, don't you?" He growled.
"You weren't letting me go!"
"I was trying to calm you down! I was trying to protect you!"
"I heard you, guardian!" I spoke, raising my voice, through my dried tears, "Can you protect me from myself? Can you protect me from the demons in my mind!?"
He remained frozen, as I continued, "Then don't fucking tell me what to do! Don't fucking to anything! Let me be! For fuck's sake." I pushed him and he finally stepped away in a daze.
"Wait, Selene-"
His words got cut off as I ran away from there. I ran toward the dense forest. I don't what happened to me all of a sudden, but the past was too much to bear while standing in front of him.
As I stood in the dense forest, trying to catch my breath, my heart pounded in my chest. The rush of emotions and memories overwhelmed me, and I sank to my knees, tears streaming down my face. The weight of my past burdens felt unbearable, and I wished for a moment of respite from the pain.
I sat alone in the forest, lost in my thoughts and emotions, when I suddenly heard footsteps approaching. I jolted slightly, and turned my gaze toward the source of the sound.
It was him. My guardian. Why couldn't he leave me alone?
"What's your problem?" I asked, scowling.
"My job? You?" He raised his eyebrows, his tone obvious.
I sighed in frustration.
"I don't need your help," I retorted, my voice tinged with bitterness. "I've been managing just fine on my own until you came along. You should've just let me die. We wouldn't be here now if you had done that."
In a flash, he was in front of me. He spoke, his voice heavy with some kind of emotion I couldn't tell, "If you don't know anything, you might as well keep your mouth shut."
His words struck me like a blow, momentarily silencing my bitterness. I stared at him, my anger and frustration mingling with confusion.
"What do you know?" I whispered. "That playing piano in front of people has always been my dream? That I have a troubling past? If you really knew me, you wouldn't even look at me-"
"Selene." He warned, as if telling me he would do something that he would regret if I said anything more.
"What?" Tears filled my eyes again.
He came closer, his expression showed some hurt, "Did I scare you?"
I kept quiet.
"Tell me what happened, Talk to me." He spoke. "Please."
I hesitated for a moment, my emotions swirling within me. Part of me wanted to push him away, to keep my guard up and maintain the walls I had built around myself. But another part of me longed for someone to understand, to share the burden that weighed me down.
I kept silent for sometime as he shifted and sat beside me, waiting for my response patiently. He kept quiet too.
Azriel
It had been half-an-hour when she finally decided to speak.
"I... will only disappoint you. I am not made for anything." She whispered. "You'll look at me..." Tears made their way down on her cheek, and I resisted the urge to hug her. I shouldn't.
"You'll eye me up and down, and you'll tell me that I am disgusting... like you did earlier when you told me to improve myself," she continued, her voice trembling with vulnerability.
Every word she spoke pierced through me like a knife. I never intended to make her feel that way, but my misguided attempts to push her had done more harm than good. I couldn't let her believe that her worth was tied to my judgment.
"Selene, I wasn't disgusted by you," I said, my voice filled with remorse. "I was trying to... I didn't want to make you feel that way."
"I don't blame you." Her tears persisted, but she quickly wiped them away, as if she believed she had no right to shed them. It broke my heart to see her like this, carrying the weight of self-doubt and pain.
I felt rage filling my veins. I did this to her. I made her cry. I wanted to fucking punch myself. I gritted my teeth but calmed down for her, and spoke, "You should. Blame me all you want. Now, this is no excuse but I was trying to fuel the fire that you had before."
"It's okay." She spoke, still tearing up now and then as we sat there in silence. Knowing her, she was feeling frustrated by how she was crying. She thought that made her weak. I knew that she thought she didn't even deserve to cry. I wanted to embrace her but I couldn't. Because if I did, both of us could get hurt.
I hoped my presence made her feel safe and comfortable.
"I think I should leave." She spoke up, looking at me with teary eyes. "I shouldn't be here. I am definitely not the saviour of the world. I- Trust me, you can find someone so much better than me to save the world or whatever."
I watched her spouting out absolute nonsense, sighing. "I can't make you stay if you don't want to but I can try and change your mind, right?"
"Y-Yes. But I want to go."
"I'll let you leave after I show you something tomorrow."
"What is that?" She tilted her head towards me, and I almost smiled. Cute.
"It's a surprise. I think you'll have love-hate relationship with it."
She was hesitant but she nodded.
We walked my deceased friend's house together where we living currently. She had stopped crying but she was staring into space all the time until we got there.
In the midst of the silence, I realized that actions would speak louder than words. I would be there for her, support her, and prove to her that she was deserving of love and understanding.