We are always who we are.
We are always who we are.
"Becky, what should I do to be more of a lady… lady-like?"… Bella uttered, looking utterly sad with her red eyes.
Becky was shocked as she moved closer to her, "Bella…what happened and what has brought about this decision… Did anyone pick on you?
Bella hesitantly answers, which brings more confusion.
"He said I am clumsy and disappointed at my behavior"…
Becky was speechless, her emotions were not easily to hide on her innocent face, in as much as she tried to put herself together, she still lost it.
She was trying to understand how she was unable to know when her sister was seeing someone, have things really gone haywire that they couldn't confide in each other, how did things turn out like this; she heaved a sigh, placing a hand on her own.
"That's enough Bella." She said, rubbing her hand together.
It is clear that she is having a hard time to digest what Bella said, but she decided to rub off just to suite her current state; still doubting if she hear8 Bella right.
A man making Bella cry is out of it. Never had she cried over any relationship.
She doesn't even care who chooses to stay with her or leave her, instead of making her look irrelevant, she cut tiers with you without you even knowing.
Was there even a time she in a relationship?
All her years as a teenager and now young adult, she dedicated to her education.
So seeing her tearing up because of some said words from a man was a shock to her spine, rather than blaming herself or Bella, she decides to advise her on how to tag along with the supposed guy. All she needed now was for Bella to open up and tell her the truth about how the relationship started.
Bella hesitates but decide to open up on how she met Hoseok still stating how they even got to end up working together, but seeing Becky's reactions she went ahead to explain that all these are just part of working together no feelings attached.
"If there are no feelings attached…then why are you tearing up by his words… don't tell me you are already falling for him when he fails to notice Bella…. Becky asked, throwing in a furrowed face.
I frown at her words, puzzling through the more in-depth meaning behind them.
I have already explained no string attached, so why is she saying and thinking otherwise.
"I don't like him…he is too bossy and full of himself… I scoff, rolling my eyes.
Becky looked at her with that kind of emotions swirling is in her eyes. Without saying much, she wrapped her up in a hug.
"That's okay…all we have to do now is to turn the ball around." Since he sees you as a clumsy person, how about you show her the real Blasian baddie queen." Becky said, cupping her face with her two hands.
"First, you are not going to date him, right? She asked with a serious tone and I nodded.
"He is not your type, right, and he's classless? Becky asked.
No… Not classless. He is a cool guy, probably he looks like some kind of CEO… blablabla.... Mafia Lord… Whatever! Whatever!! Whatever!!! He is the type of guy that lives fine and has enough. But Becky, he is definitely not my type. His vibes; I mean… I don't like it. He looked like the type that wants to control someone. Yes… Becky, he seriously wants to control me… I don't like it." She blurted out amidst a scream.
"Could you believe he asked me to make coffeeeeeee… Jezzzzzz..... I feel like strangling him with my bare hands." She groans.
Becky watched her, confused.
"Bella… She called out to her, "You are in love."
"No! No!! No…. Never. Not him, definitely not him." She screamed, pulling her hair in anger.
"Fineeeee. Since you denied it, let's go this way. You are no longer a child, Bella. You will be Twenty-Three, right."
"Now listen." Becky began.
I listen to her crux words even though she is saying it with a different intention, but she is right I allowed my emotions get the best of me and why should I bother about what he said about me, not that we are even close.
After sharing and pouring out my heart to Becky, I feel a bit relax and Becky seems to have changed a lot.
I shook my head vigorously as I looked at her passive and oblivious face giving out a smile to her, I excused myself to my room.
The night seemed to return to normal, I lay down resting my head on my soft pillow probing all that Becky told me "I think I need to show my bossy part again"…. I smiled mischievously, staring at the ceiling before I draft off to sleep.
********************************
I woke up in the morning feeling headache as a result of my yesternight cries.
It was Sunday, the first day of the week, I rolled and rolled on my bed trying to adjust to the sunlight that was already streaming through my curtain and landing down my eyelids.
I grunted as I sat up on my bed stretching my hand to get the mirror on my side table, using the mirror to look how my face was after a long night of tears, I pinched my cheeks and gave out a soft ouch, my face is a bit swollen and my eyes already red.
"All thanks to you Hoseok..." I muttered. "Why am I even thinking about him first thing in the morning?" I sprang up and rushed to the bathroom to get myself ready for the weekend.
I won't be attending any after practice, even if they are having one today, I don't care.
Once I was done, I headed down to the living room to help out with whatever Becky was doing, and luckily, I found her cleaning the kitchen.
I grab a chair behind me, not wanting her to notice my presence, watching how she is doing everything makes me homesick.
I cupped my chin together with my hand, watching her as I reminisce back home.
Sunday in my hometown is always the busiest day ever, after morning service which starts at 6:30am or second service which kicks off at 8:00am, whichever one we attend.
Your joy ends immediately the service is over, remembering all the loads of work waiting for you at home weakens your system and the painful thing is there is no escaping it.
Watching Becky gives me this nostalgic feelings and I remember my mother.
This is accurately how I pictured Mother; imagine waking up on a Sunday morning only to see the whole household curtains down, a Christian gospel song playing loud and the dishes displayed on the sink.
The entire thoughts weakened me and rather than having such muzzy momentum, decided to help Becky do some cleaning.
After we were done, we suggested a homemade kimchi, giving it out a try is the best as we giggling bring out the ingredients rather than the usual one we always order.
Luckily, for us, it turns out good and they tasted lovely. It was such a joyous moment being closed to Becky.
I don't know if my emotions were deceiving or maybe I have forgiven her even though she is yet to apologize "Yes she own me one".. I looked at her curiously as she carefully packs the homemade kimchi inside the fridge.
She recommended that us to visit the park, which I gladly accepted it's the weekend there is no need to stay back alone I might end up getting mad for no reason since this week I have had enough to eventually break me.
I would rather not add more to it and besides today Sunday, the park will be full, too much fun and since it's weekend, maybe, I get to make new friends.
I hurried inside to do a little finished touching on myself, at least I need to look my best to fit in this country where being beauty is equal to a good life, checking out my look and admiring myself.
"Atleast I am a beautiful brown skin girl".... I smile at the mirror, adoring myself.
Once I finished I hurried back just to meet amazing Becky waiting for me at the door, she was dressed in her casuals, no nerdy look with her glasses, just her plain self and she still looked beautiful.