I cried out when I wake. There's pain in my shoulder and gut and legs and everywhere!
Then memories flitted through my mind and I begin to get desperate, believing them reality. "No!" I cry. I see Gideon over me, remember his slap. "No!" I shake my head, wanting to get away but unable to. "No!"
"Jose, open your eyes."
"No!" I cry turning my head away from the voice. "No hurt! No!"
"Jose," the same voice said, and feel lips on my head.
"No!" I didn't want it to be another fake dream! I didn't want it to fade away while Gideon hurt me again.
"Open your eyes, Jose. Come on."
I whimper as my stomach flared with pain. "Hurt!"
"I know. Open your eyes for me. It's alright. You're safe."
I flutter my lids, opening them to a face in front of me. "Hurt!" I cry.
"Look at me, Jose." I look back at the face and feel a prick in my arm. I groan. "Jose? Do you know who I am?"
"No! No hurt!" The pain flared again and I tossed my head from side to side. "Help!"
"Jose, it will go away soon. I want you to look at me."
I look into those green eyes and tears run down my face. I recognize that face. It was not Gideon. It was not Edgar. "Help!" I pleaded, hoping that this person was nice to me.
"I am helping. You're pain will go away soon."
"No hurt!"
The face leaned forward. I thought I saw tears in them. "No hurt," the voice whispered, and again I felt lips on my head.
I began to feel tired, panicked. "No! No! No sleep! Help! No!" I thrashed, hitting and kicking the persons in front of me.
"Jose!"
I whimpered, looked into those green eyes.
"I'm here," the voice said, a soothing tone. "It's okay to sleep. I'll be here when you wake."
But not in the dreams!
I cried, trying to reach out, hold onto the semblance of peace. "No go?" I asked, desperate to not be alone.
Those green eyes bobbed up and down. "I will stay. Sleep. I will be here."
Giving up on fighting, I sleep.
When I wake again, it is bright and I squint. Groaning, I try to sit up. "Jose?"
I whimper, afraid it was Gideon. But a familiar face appeared in front of me as hands gently laid me back. I blinked up at that male face, green eyes steady. It wasn't a dream. This was real. I looked around. Noticed the infirmary inside the castle at Thelia's home.
"Jose?"
I look back at the male and my control broke. I cried, covering my face with my hands. I did not want to see that face when I told him how I failed. I didn't want to see the hatred when I told him how Gideon hurt me in many ways. I didn't want to hear how Thelia died and how the dragons were still in captivity. I couldn't bear to hear any of it, not from him.
"Jose, look at me." I shook my head. Hands grabbed my wrists and I flinched away in fear. "Jose, I'm not going to hurt you."
I didn't believe him. How could he not hurt me after what I failed to do?
A door opened and closed, then I felt someone else sit on my bed. "Jose?"
I let my hands fall to see the queen sitting there, smiling at me. "Thelia?"
Her smile grows. "Why are you crying?"
I reach out to her feel her hand hold mine. "No dead?"
"Not dead!" she says cheerfully. "We're home! Everyone is home!"
"Dragons?"
"All of them!"
I wipe my tears and begin to calm down. "Gid-eon?"
Thelia stiffened, then leaned over and embraced me. "He's dead, Jose. He's gone."
I look to the male watching me patiently. I felt relief and a sense of foreboding, having no idea what I will find from him. "Kesar?"
Thelia pulled away, the male cupped my face with both hands. "Jose."
My vision blurred. "Home?"
He smiled. "You're home."
I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, bury my face in his chest, and cried.
"You're safe," he whispers. "No one can hurt you. You're home."
I kept crying until exhaustion and hunger made me stop. At this point, Kesar had me in his lap, holding me against him. I didn't want to leave his arms, ever.
When he did begin to lift me, I assumed it was to put me back and leave. I cried. "No! No go!"
"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. And I felt him settle me on the bed, but he still had his arms around me, both of us laying down. "It's okay, Jose. I'm just grabbing a blanket."
Once we were covered, he settled down and I relaxed, falling asleep.
The next I woke, I was still in Kesar's arms, still safe. I whimpered though when my shoulder screamed.
"Jose?"
I look at Kesar, trying to not cry out. "Hurt."
"Show me where," he said and I did. Kesar sat up and I wrapped my arms around him, keeping him from leaving, ignoring the glare in my shoulder. "Relax, Jose."
I shook my head. He leaned over me and rang a bell, then laid back down. "I'm here," said a female voice.
I hid in Kesar's chest as he said, "Her shoulder hurts."
"May I look?"
Kesar unwrapped my arms. I began to cry, trying to hold him here, to not leave. "Jose, look at me."
I did, desperate for him to see how much I needed to not be alone.
Kesar cupped my face. "You're not like this. What happened?"
"Hurt. Alone. No leave! Kesar No leave!"
He grabbed my hands and held them. "Listen to me, Jose." I nod, gulping air down as I tried to steady my breathing. "I am not going anywhere. I will never go anywhere and leave you alone. You haven't been alone. Thelia has been here. Zargis has been here. Atuss and Cam and Verah have all been here." H squeezed my hands gently. "You are never alone. If I leave it is only to use the bathroom. That is all."
I gulped and nodded. Repeating his words in my mind.
"Now, let Nallu look at your shoulder."
"No go?"
He shook his head. "No."
Reluctantly, I nod.
The nurse comes over and unwraps my shoulder. I wince and try to pull away as the last layer comes off. "Hurt!"
Nallu nods. "You keep opening it, Jose. You need to be more careful." A throat clears and Nallu says, "I know it's been hard, but once you heal, then you can tackle Kesar to the ground. Just heal. I'll make sure he stays."
She put some soothing cream on my wound, then wrapped it again. She grabs something from her office and hands it to Kesar. "These Will help. I can't give her more shots. But these will help the pain ebb, but will make her tired."
Kesar looks at me, then shakes his head. "She'll panic. It'll just keep getting ripped open."
Nallu was silent then grabbed the jar of cream she put on my shoulder. "This isn't as strong, but does keep infection out better. No sleepiness."
"I'll take that."
"She'll have pain, Kesar."
"Pain I can distract her from. Nightmares, I can't."
Nallu shrugs and leaves. Kesar puts the jar in his pocket then stands. I whimper. He smiles then bends down and lifts me into his arms. "Let's go get you comfortable and some hot food," he says, kissing my head.