"Thelia?"
Thelia looks at me with a smile. "What is it, Jose?"
"Kesar Jose mate?"
Thelia's smile widened. "Did he say that?"
I shrug. "Kesar talk Jose mate. Jose no understand."
"He was unsure himself," she said to me. "He didn't tell you sooner because he wanted to make sure you chose. He didn't want to hurt you."
"Kesar no talk hurt Jose."
"He told me," Zargis said. I look at him. "He told me before you were taken. Wanted to tell you then."
"No talk Jose."
"He wanted to make it special."
"Kesar special dance food happy?"
"Exactly." Zargis walks over and sits beside me. "Kesar has never been as happy as he has with you. He has never laughed as much, never talked as much. A mate helps the other with those things. You're his mate."
"Kesar Jose like?"
Thelia giggled as Zargis rolled his eyes. "Kesar would not touch another female before he met you. You are the only one he likes, the only one he cares about."
"Care?" I ask. "Care Jose?"
He nods.
"Jose know Jose like Kesar?"
Zargis smiled. "You know, Jose." I tilt my head. "Because you asked these questions, because you noticed when he was worried about Einnig, because you make him happy."
I shake my head. "Kesar no happy. Kesar sad."
"Why do you say that?"
"Kesar no laugh more. Kesar no play. Kesar Jose slow."
Zargis furrowed his brow, still unsure about some things I say. "She says Kesar isn't as he used to be," Thelia explained. She looks at me. "But Jose isn't the same either."
I nod. "Jose try. Jose bad dream. Jose fail."
Zargis chuckles. "Jose! You are adorable!" Thelia scowls at him. Zargis shrugs. "What? She is!"
Thelia rolls her eyes. "Jose, you don't have to try to be happy. You don't have to be strong anymore. Let Kesar help. That's what a mate does."
"Kesar sad Jose sad."
Zargis nods. "Yes, but he will also try to help you and make you feel better. In turn, it'll make him happy."
"Jose like Kesar happy."
"We all like Kesar happy," the king says and holds out a hand. "Let's go back. It's getting late."
I say goodbye to Thelia then walk with Zargis down the halls, holding onto him as tightly as I do with Kesar.
When we reach Kesar's chambers, Zargis turns to me. "Talk to him, Jose. You will be happier when you do. Kesar will relax if he knows what is wrong."
"Jose try," I say softly and he knocks.
A moment later, Kesar opens the door and thanks Zargis, letting me in. I look around, not seeing anything. "Did you have fun?" he asks.
I look at him. "Einnig?"
"He's gone."
I nod and go over and hug him, holding on tight. "Kesar happy Jose talk? Kesar happy Kesar know Jose sad?"
He is still for a long time, then kisses my head. "Is this why you wanted to see Thelia?" I nod. "Is this why you have been…shy?" I nod again.
Kesar lifts me up and carry's me to the couch where he sets me down on his lap and holds me. "I do want to know if you're scared or hurt, Jose. I want to help. I want to see you smile. But I will not make you tell me. If you want to tell Thelia, then that's fine. But I want to know."
I lower my eyes. "Jose talk Zargis. Zargis talk Kesar Jose mate. Kesar help Jose. Jose help Kesar. Zargis talk Jose talk Kesar. Kesar help Jose. Jose scared. Jose happy Kesar happy. Kesar no happy. Jose bad dream Kesar sad."
"I am sad," he whispered, but I want to know."
"Jose no happy Kesar no happy!"
He lifts my face so I can look into his eyes. "I am happy when you talk to me. It means I can protect you."
I blink. "Kesar help Jose?"
He nods. "I want to help Jose. She's my mate. She is what makes me smile and laugh and talk. She makes me a happy dragon."
I nod, then inhale deeply. "Gideon o happy Jose help dragons. Gideon mad, hit kick hurt Jose."
"Was Gideon the leader?"
I shake my head. "Soldier?"
"He was a soldier for someone else?"
I nod. "Edgar. Edgar old!" Kesar laughs and I smile. "Edgar soldier tie Jose chair. Dragons girl tie table. Edgar soldiers shot girl same Jose Switch."
"What did it do?"
I look down, thinking of how to describe it. "Girl pain. Girl dragon loud." Kesar looks confused so I make a growly face. "Loud!" I say.
He nods. "Dragon roared?"
"Dragon watch Edgar talk Jose. Edgar mad. Edgar talk Gideon Jose sick. Gideon no know."
"So you played along and pretended?"
I nod. "Edgar Jose walk. Jose saw male dragon. Jose know male. No know where." I look at Kesar curiously. "Juskah?"
He grinned. "You met Zargis's father!"
I nod. "Home?"
"He's here. He told us where Gideon took you."
"Juskah no talk Jose more. Edgar talk move soon. Jose chain dragons. Hard walk. Hard sleep. Edgar soldiers mean."
Kesar kissed my forehead and tightened his arm slightly. "It's alright. I'm here now."
"Atuss talk Jose night. Talk Jose battle fight hurt. Atuss happy Zargis Otreg Cam find help dragon. Jose Atuss name talk dragons sit."
"Why did you make them sit?"
"Jose talk leader good Jose. Good dragons. No hurt. Dragons No hurt leader soldiers." I paused, begin to feel something grow in my throat. "Gideon no happy."
"Breathe, Jose."
I did and clutches his shirt. "Gideon no hear Edgar. Gideon take Jose Thelia. Dragons try, Kesar! Dragons try help. Jose fight. Dragons sleep. Jose Thelia go away!"
"Calm down," Kesar whispered. "You're safe."
I lay my head against his chest and stay quiet for a while. When I speak again, it's with a much softer tone. "Jose no know Gideon take Jose Thelia. Jose shoulder knife."
"Who hurt you there?"
"Gideon."
Green eye turn amber.
"Jose sick. No know Thelia. No know sky grass horse Gideon. No know!"
"Sometimes sickness can make you not remember who or what something is around you. It's one of the horrible symptoms."
"Jose no know Gideon stay home. Jose wake Gideon on top. Jose-" I choke on tears.
"Jose, look at me."
I do. "Jose no move, Kesar! Jose stay. Gideon move! Do? Gidoeon do Jose? Jose no do Gideon!"
"Listen to me," Kesar whispers. I gulp and nod. "Thelia killed him. Do you why?"
"Gideon hurt Jose?"
"Yes, but she also did it because he hurt her too. Gideon hurt Thelia just like that."
"Do? Kesar, do? Jose no know!"
"Gideon was the sick one," he said, gently laying my head against him again. "His mind was sick, made him like bad things. Gideon felt strong doing bad things."
"Jose no strong!"
"Jose has a strong mind, and I think he knew that."
I sit up again and glare. "Jose no strong arms legs!"
He raised a brow. "Are you sure? You and Thelia took some heavy weapons."
I shrug and lay back against him again. "Jose no wake. Jose scared wake. Jose think Gideon hurt Jose. Jose no see Kesar. Dream Kesar go away. Jose no like."
"That's why you hang on to me?"
I nod. "Jose open eyes, Jose see Kesar real. Jose scared kesar. Jose talk Jose Kesar hurt Jose Gideon hurt Jose. Jose fail help dragons. Jose no help Thelia. Jose no see Thelia. Jose talk Jose Thelia gone."
Kesar takes a minute to process my words but then nods. "You were afraid I hurt you or leave?"
I nod. "Thelia come. Jose see Thelia. Jose talk Jose dragons home? Jose no fail? Kesar no anger Jose? Jose like Kesar. No like no Kesar. No like away Kesar."
"I don't like it when you were gone either," he whispers. "I was scared. I knew they would hurt you, but I didn't know how bad. I didn't know how. I was always happy to see your drawings, though."
I smile up at him. "Edgar soldiers Gideon no know draws no know Jose help Kesar."
Kesar leaned down and kissed me. "When I saw you, you were calling me, pale as clouds and cold. We rushed you home, Verah said I must help you. I did and you had poison."
I furrowed my brows. "Poison? Switch?"
"No. We cured that poison. But Gideon had given you more when he stabbed you."
I frown. "Jose scream?"
He nods.
"Days?"
"Three days you screamed. You had poison all over inside you. And when you finally stopped, I wanted to wash you off." I looked up at him to see him crying. "You were bleeding. That's how I knew Gideon hurt you. That's how I knew you were innocent."
"Kesar hurt?"
"He hurt you in a way he knew could not be fixed. Violated you in the worst way possible." He tightened his arms. "I lost control. Had Verah watch you while I left so I didn't hurt you more."
"Kesar no like Jose hurt."
"No, I don't."
"Thelia hurt Gideon. Gideon no more."
Kesar nodded, wiped away his tears. "Thelia helped me calm down. She was also hurt by how Gideon treated you. When I returned, you stayed in my arms unless I used the bathroom."
I hug him. "Jose no like Kesar cry."
"I'm okay, Jose."
I curled tighter and held him. "Kesar happy Jose talk?"
"I am. Are you happy?"
I nod. "Jose happy Kesar happy."