i sat next to her while she's lying in bed and ask her " I know that you're resting right now but don't you mind if i ask you about the illusion you saw?" she answer me "I saw Beckham brutally murdered by an assassin so i try to attack him but he's too strong i can't make a scratch on him i think he's from Royal Family assassin " she drop a few tears in her eyes and start crying so i try to hug and comfort her "It's okay remember that we're saintess escort knights that means we're also strong" after i comfort her i let her to go back sleep and so i think im running out of Qi so i start meditating while im on Marc's appearance, as i meditate i fall asleep and i dream about having swordfight against into a desperate woman wearing a light heavy armor in white and she's crying as she kept holding her sword and saying "Why!!, why can't defeat you and why are you doing this" i subconsciously drop a tears so i looked down in floor and drop my sword to swipe my tears she ask me again "Why tell me why how can you mercilessly kill them!" i sit down like a child crying on floor i look at her but my vision is blurry because of my tears and i answer her "Because you are the hero and im the villain" she soften her voice as she still kept crying "Then tell me why did you became a villain- no a monster" i even use my clothes to swipe my tears but my eyes can't stop crying so my vision is still blurry and i said "Why did i became a monster?, it's because of my selfishness of love one of my previous life you and i we're husband and wife we had a good life with our child's then one day you suddenly gone out to kill the demon king because the holy sword calling you to defeat the demon lord so i take care our kids and arguing to myself if im gonna follow you then i decided to follow im hoping you can defeat the demon lord because i know you're a maiden but all of my happiness are shattered into pieces when my eyes saw you, you're impregnant by the demon lord i've gone crazy as hell why because my wife is the maiden then i let her getting impregnant by a demon so i killed the both of you why i even kill you because the demon lord brainwashed you"....