*Natalie*
It has been three days since the "interrogation" of Alpha Lance Ramirez, and after talking with Lucas, Oliver, Kayden, and Becca, I came to terms with what I did in that room. I was worried that everyone would think of me differently, however, they have all proved me wrong.
-Flashback-
It is the day after the "interrogation" of Alpha Lance, and I am actually afraid to come out of my and Lucas's bedroom. I basically made it to where I would be set in this room for at least a week. I have everything from water, food, clothes, books, paper, and pens. Lucas left early this morning after waking me up, letting me know that he had to take care of a couple of things in his office. So, when he left this morning, that is when I went and got the things that I needed.
It had been a couple of hours since Lucas left, and there was a knock on the main door of the suite. Whoever it was, they knocked a couple of times, and then all was quiet. I thought that they left to go on about their day, but that was not what happened.
"Girl, why are you just lying in here? And why is there so much food and stuff in here? Are you planning on not coming out of this room or something?" Becca rapid-fired the questions as she barged into my room. Then it was like a light went off in her head, one minute she is looking at me and the next she's mind-linking someone.
"Who did you just mind-link Becca?" I asked with a little uncertainty.
"The guys, evidently, we need to perform an intervention. There is no reason for you to barricade yourself in this room. Now when everyone gets here, you are going to tell us what is going on." Becca said with a stern look on her face like a mother would her child.
We did not have to wait very long, because not even three minutes later did all four of the guys try to walk into the bedroom at the same time. Which was hilarious to see, and it even made me giggle. Something that I have not done since the "interrogation". Once they finally got into the room, albeit a little embarrassed, they all looked at me.
"Okay missy, it is time for you to start talking. Tell us what is going through your head." Becca said in a pleading tone.
"I know what I did was necessary, however, I cannot help but feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Now, Nathan, I know we talked about this already, but that feeling just will not go away. So now I am beating myself up mentally for not feeling guilty…if any of this makes sense at all." I told them in a defeated tone.
"Babe, your feelings are justified. I think all of us have felt this at one point or another. I know I sure have had this feeling multiple times. I just have to remind myself, what would happen if I did not do what I did? Who else would have gotten hurt if I did not do what I did? How would this affect the people close to me, or the pack? I can tell you right now that I have no guilt for what we did to that no-good Alpha. He would have taken you away from me, from the pack. They would have been without their Luna and ready to go to war to get you back. And yes, they all think highly of you, just look at how far you have come since you have been here. Plus, that Alpha would have forcibly marked and mated with you. That alone could have a detrimental effect on you mentally. You just must keep reminding yourself this." Lucas told me as he came to sit with me on the bed.
-End Flashback-
Once they all got to say what they needed to say, and even told me about the times when it really messed with them to not be guilty, I realized that yes, there will be times that I feel like this. However, it is up to me to talk to those around me about what I am feeling, that way they can help me. So, now I am thinking about the happy feelings. Like how we are finally getting the decorations put up for the Luna ceremony. I did not want anything flashy, all I wanted was a nature-based theme. With flowers that grow in one of the fields to the east of the pack house, the fallen trees or big logs made into bench seats for the pack to sit on, and to be able to walk barefoot (this is optional for all those who attend).
Right now, Becca and I are in the kitchen finishing up our breakfast when I start feeling a little nauseous. It takes everything in me not to let it show on my face, and to keep from running to the bathroom, around the corner, to throw up what I just had for breakfast. There was no way I was letting that happen, the chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate syrup were to die for.
"Natalie, are you okay hun?" Becca asks me with a look of concern.
"Yeah, just felt nauseous for a second." I told her honestly. "It happened this morning as well."
"How about I call a pack doctor to come check on you? I know you do not want to do that, however, what if something could be wrong?" Becca asks.
"Okay, go ahead." I surrendered. While she was mind-linking with a pack doctor, I took my plate to the sink and got lost in washing it, and the other dishes that were there as well.
Midnight: We don't really need a pack doctor. I know what is wrong with us.
Me: What? Wait, really? What is wrong with us then?
Midnight: Brace yourself…
Me: Spit it out already!
Midnight: We are pregnant.
Me: Wha…oh okay then. So the pack doctor doesn't need to come here, I have to go to the pack hospital then.
"Umm, Becca…I do not need the pack doctor to come here. I need to go to the pack hospital." I told her without turning around from the sink.
"What do you mean you need to go to the pack hospital?" She asked worriedly.
"Well, Midnight told me what is wrong. I just need to get it confirmed. And then I will tell you and everyone else once it is 100%." I told her when I finally turned around and started walking out the front of the pack house. "Please mind-link the doctor and tell them the change of plans. I will be there soon."
If this is really happening, I need to stop by the store on the way home and find something to use to surprise Lucas. I think I will try to enlist Becca and the guys' help with this. With this in mind, I picked up the pace to the pack hospital.