Lets Just say that Sebastian coming home was not temporary, he dropped the bomb on us Friday night, which made medusa, I mean mother absolutely ecstatic. She loves the fact that she has all of her babies at home. FYI that does not include me. If the slap across the face this morning had anything to say about it. Awe Blake why did you get slapped? Well my friends it's because mother hovered yesterday like she knew I was planning on sneaking out, so in turn I didn't get to go. Which also means I was a bit grumpy, in my defense that was the only time I had to be myself you know?
I will admit that father wasn't so thrilled about it, it's like he knew something no one else did, like Sebastian was what was going to rip what little function this family had to threads. So maybe I wasn't the only person feeling this sense of dread. I'm telling you all of our lives are going to be turned upside down it's just a matter of when, though, I can somehow feel that it is going to be soon.
Any ways... Back to the drama at hand, not only did Sebastian tell us that he was home for good, but he also told father in more or less of a kind Fuck you, I'm not working as a mechanic. So that night Mother decided that Sebastian and Beth would take over her families company when we graduated high school. If my dad wouldn't have sent me a nod letting me know that he has me covered, I probably would have been upset being left out of that decision.
Not that I wanted any part in her company to begin with, but at first I thought my dad was going to turn his back on me as well. So that left me with a pit in my stomach thinking I had officially been abandoned by my whole family. Even though Beth Doesn't particularly like Sebastian, she couldn't help but to squeal with delight about working with someone who actually like Design shit. Where when we discussed this stuff I kind of just nodded along. Like I said before I was more interested in my fathers shit than Medusa's.
Having scars from her kind of makes it a bit difficult to want to be a part of something she helped build. Not exactly my cup of tea you know, Plus because of her I will always be this girl wishing she was someone else. What's weird is I don't even feel like I'm transgendered, like I'm just in the wrong body, something deep down that tells me I Wasn't born in the wrong body, that something is blocking the real me. You know? Like I understand what being trans is, but sometimes I don't think that's what I am You know? No? Ok well than maybe I am just being paranoid I guess.
Honestly who fucking knows, the only thing I can think of is the fact that within the next few days something big is going to happen!
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Another day of being this person that I just didn't recognize, but something was different, not Just the fact that today was Beth and I's 18th birthday. ( I told you we were 18, I wasn't exaggerating being18 year old Seniors) Something was definitely different I felt Powerful, like I could take anything on.
It was weird because normally I felt powerless not powerful, maybe this was the sense of dread I have been feeling? But wait that's not right, though I feel powerful, I can still sense something big happening. I don't know maybe I am going crazy after all? I mean shit I feel like I'm in charmed or something...
As I was walking down the hall to get to the kitchen, I almost ran straight into Beth and decided to ask if she felt any differently. "Hey Happy Birthday, do you feel any different, like something is different?" A little hesitantly but asked none the less. "No I feel just like I did yesterday why?" I just shrugged my shoulders and continued on my way, I have a feeling that this only just the beginning.
That feeling never went away as the day continued, I was on my way to the last class of the day when Jay my boy friend slung his arms around my shoulders, it was difficult since I was 3" taller than him. "Hey beautiful, you seem different today what's wrong?" I only shrugged my shoulders not responding because honestly what could I respond to that? 'oh nothing babe just feel powerful, like I could defeat an entire army, nothing out of the usual.' Yeah no that would just get me laughed at, don't get me wrong I am pretty popular but that doesn't mean any teenagers wouldn't take a good laugh when they could. Also no I am not worried about bullies, I may be a girl but I could easily take any guy in this school.
"Come on babe, you should be happy you are officially the big 18, get excited." he forced out, 'I wish it was that easy..' "I'm perfectly happy to be 18, just not feeling great today is all." he shrugged and kissed my cheek before walking off to his class. As class went on something inside of me was changing, I could feel it much more strongly than this morning. Not to mention the pain in my body, I can't explain it all that great, but something is definitely not right.
"Mrs. Geoffrey since you are very clearly paying attention please answer this question " What is Considered to be the control center for the cell/Holds the DNA?" come on, answer now or you get detention after school." 'ai fuck anatomy and physiology' "The Nucleus" it came out a little more irritated than I meant for it to. But that's what he gets for calling me out Infront of everyone knowing I am one of his best students 'Fucking prick' whoa what the fuck was that? I looked around the room but no one was paying attention, there's absolutely no way I'm the only one who heard that. ' Yes there is, Don't be a pansy and freak out on me.' 'whoa that's it I'm officially insane' Ok I have to get out of here, something is definitely wrong.
Apparently I'm manifesting men in my mind, I think a good nap is in order, I just walk out of class, without spearing my teacher a glance, Just have to get home to take a nap, and I will wake up good as new. Right? Right? 'Wrong!' oh shit I definitely have to get the fuck out of here! Maybe this is the sense of dread I have been feeling? The fact I'm now hearing a grown ass man's voice in my head is the best example of me going fucking insane. Why does this shit always happen to me? I don't understand, I was okay yesterday, and now I belong in an insane asylum! Ah Fuck Me! AH!!