Despite the warning glare from the queen, who turned her head fully in their direction now, Eli began to lead the princess around the dance floor. The smile on Kit’s face made it all worth it, even if he would get quite the tongue lashing from the queen later—or perhaps an actual lashing. She had threatened as much before.
“This is much more like it,” Kit said next to his ear as he held her close. “None of those other gentlemen have any idea how to dance.”
“None of them?” he asked, breathing in the warm scent of honey and lavender, an aroma he’d come to associate with Kit long ago.
“Not a single one.” She looked up into his eyes, and he caught a twinkle there. For a moment, she looked more at ease than she had been in as long as he could remember, certainly since before the announcement of her Proem. But then, as if thoughts of the ceremony also filled her mind, the spark that was there faded, and she rested her head on his shoulder, clinging to him more than just moving with the beat of the music.
“Kit, you aren’t still worried are you?” he asked, his voice low. The violins had taken over the song, and their melody was light and airy, but the princess’s disposition was beginning to seep into him, and he no longer felt as cheerful as he had a moment ago, teasing her about not having the time to dance.
She turned her head so that her breath fell on his neck, and he felt a tightening in his lower abdomen, one he had to ignore. “I don’t know,” she said quietly. She looked up then, raising her head so that he was once again staring into her blue eyes. “You’ve heard, haven’t you? About the change?”
“Yes, of course. All of the men who’ve volunteered have already been inspected by the physician and readied for what will happen tomorrow.”
Her eyebrows came together briefly. “You didn’t… that is to say….”
“Kit, you know we are not allowed to discuss it at all. But I assure you, every member of your guard knows precisely what is to transpire tomorrow.”
She bit her bottom lip in consternation, and he imagined she was still pondering whether or not he’d volunteered. Her lips were slightly darker than usual, likely from the wine she’d been drinking, and it was all he could do to keep from leaning forward and remembering the taste of her mouth.
Kit looked away, and the song played on. He knew this one by heart, having heard it at every single ball he’d ever attended--as a member of the guard, of course. His family wasn’t nobility, not anymore anyway, and he had never been an invited guest. His eyes moved back to the queen, and though she appeared to be speaking to Duchess Zora, he could still feel her heavy gaze.
“Eli,” Kit said before she even turned her face back to him. “Do you think it will be better this way?”
“Yes, of course.” The answer was out quickly, before he even had time to ponder it, because that’s the way he’d rehearsed it all day. In fact, that’s the way he’d intended to reply to any of her questions about the Proem. Not because he believed his answer was true or right, but because there was no escaping the event, so he may as well try to put her mind at ease if at all possible.
“Do you really?” she asked, tipping her chin forward and studying him for a moment, not fooled by his quick response. “Don’t you think….” Kit looked around as if she wasn’t sure if anyone could hear. She cleared her throat, and just as the song was about to end, she stopped dancing. “May I speak to you outside for a moment?”
Immediately, Eli’s eyes went over to the queen. He’d been given more than one strict warning to stay out of the situation and avoid the princess at all costs, and yet he hadn’t seemed to be able to do that. Now, as dark eyes bore through his skull, he returned his gaze to more civil ones, though Kit was also troubled. “Your guests will miss you.”
She was already walking, backing him up across the dance floor, headed for one of the balconies. Because of the ornate decorations, the doors were difficult to see. Streams of fabric in blue and gold hung from the ceiling, obscuring the exits, and large displays of flowers lined the dance floor. But Kit knew exactly where she was headed, and rather than fighting her, he turned and walked with her, his upper arm encircled as much as possible by her small hand.
The door was heavy, so he helped her pull it open, and then they both slid out before catching the eyes of anyone save the few guards who were watching the princess like hawks. “Kit, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”
She was over by the ledge already, however, peering down at her mother’s rose garden. The night sky was lit with a thousand twinkling diamonds, and the cool spring air filled his lungs as he took her in. The moonlight landed on her hair, illuminating the edges, and filtered down to radiate off of her alabaster skin. In that moment, she was a dark-haired angel, a graceful creature of the night, and he wanted nothing more than to beg her to leave all of this behind and ride away with him.
But he couldn’t do that. Other obligations came to mind. His mother, his sister, their families. His father’s good name, though tarnished, was capable of being resuscitated, and when she turned to look at him, he was reminded that it was in her best interest to stay here, to follow through with the ceremonies as they’d been laid out before her.
“Do you think,” she began again, her voice soft and ethereal, “that I’ll be able to walk among my own guard, knowing that one of them has been intimate with me?”
Her words were short and clipped, as if it was painful for her to speak them aloud. “I think that you will be able to do as you’ve always done, my Princess. It’s not intimacy, remember? The guard who fulfills his duty tomorrow will be a tool of the physician, simply taking his place because the older gentleman is not capable of performing the ceremony himself. I am sure that whomever is selected will be honored and will not at all think about you any differently than he always has. It is our greatest privilege to serve you however we are called upon to, Princess Katrinetta.”
He saw her face relax just a bit, but he knew she would only be calmed for a moment before all of her worries came flooding back, and there wasn’t anything at all he could do about it.