Chereads / TEARS OF THE HEART / Chapter 8 - EPISODE 8

Chapter 8 - EPISODE 8

Life is so strange. One day you are at your peak, and another day you are at absolute zero. This spells out a fundamental question; Is life worth living? What is the endgame? Everything is so uncertain. Even uncertainty is not certain. When you reach that point where these questions trouble your thoughts, you have gone below rock bottom. Those were the questions disturbing Joseph's mind after his little discussion with Dr. Primera. For so long as he could remember, he lived a very smooth and chill life. His routines were not enticing but not boring too. He didn't have a chronic need for extraordinary finances. He still had all his thoughts, toppled with an outstanding memory. But now he barely remembers himself, his day-to-day activities are sauced with much stress and the cream on the cake, mystic phenomena seem to be a normality in this his new life. But complaining won't ameliorate things. He needed to chase himself and find out who and how he was before he was hospitalized. But he had no clue. He didn't know whom to ask. In fact, he had his whole entourage to ask but didn't know how. Joseph fell into despair. His condition kept troubling him to the point where he didn't lift a foot from his bed. He didn't eat, nor drink anything. He didn't take a bath nor did he even visit the toilets. He lamented on his situation, refusing to open his door to inquiries. He did not even answer his phone. It kept ringing, chiming, vibrating. All he did was lay on his bed. He cried and prayed repeatedly for a week. When the week came to an end, he had an illumination. The only persons that never abandon you in this whole life (all things being equal) are your progenitors. Those who brought him into this merciless yet beautiful world. But Joseph wasn't thinking of his biological parents. He was thinking of his possible father-in-law. He had heard from Risa that her father was strict and very truthful. Though he didn't know Joseph very well, Joseph was sure that he would answer all his preoccupations with sincerity and truthfulness. With that idea in mind, Joseph went on a trip that would make his whole life take a U-turn.

The thrill of travelling. The joy of seeing the scenery moving at the speed of the transport vehicle. The bewilderment caused by the geographical relief, dominated by hills or mountains. The green of the flora that stretches towards horizons eyes can't reach. All these phenomena heightened Joseph's emotions and expectations to their peak. On the 26th of April, at 7a.m, Joseph left his home heading towards the CHARTERED VOYAGE agency. He called Risa to reassure her of his recent absence.

"Hey lady." Joseph calmly introduced

"So, mister has decided to come back to the world of the living." Risa crudely answered.

"I know I am the bad guy here," Joseph responded to Risa's wrath.

"Indeed you are. So, what are the reasons for these previous 2 weeks of blackout? You had me bloody worried." Risa asked.

"I am going on a trip. I am going on a hunt for answers." Joseph responded.

"Must you do it alone?" Risa asked, with a lot of insistence.

"Yes. If someone else comes with me, if you come with me, I am sure to miss many things." Joseph answered vaguely.

"No extra details? I should just accept the fact that you are travelling and remain quiet. I shouldn't even question the nature of your travel. Is it what you want?" Risa spoke. She was angry because she was being kept in the dark. But she was much more confused and worried. Joseph never kept any secrets from her.

If he is so evasive, then something serious has happened, Risa thought.

"Yes. Please, just let me be selfish for today." Joseph pleaded.

"When you say it as such, I can't refuse. Just come back safe and sound." Risa responded, reassuring Joseph. With that, Joseph said all that was left to say, dropped the call and prepared for departure. The CHARTERED VOYAGE agency had two station points. One at the BISCUIT FACTORY and the other at the MADAGASCAR QUARTER. Each of these point stations had its dedicated circuit to follow. The one going in Joseph's direction or destination was found at MADAGASCAR (Yes. A quarter whose name spells that of a country). When Joseph boarded the bus, it was 9 a.m. Despite landing there at 7:30 a.m., Joseph noticed that the departure time didn't depend on the customers, nor the fact that the bus was full. It was solely on the mood swings of the driver. That's just a common trait of humans. Give a human being a little power or control and he suddenly becomes a god. That was common to those whose skin showed a rather high concentration of melanocytes, especially Cameroonians. So, Joseph departed for the hunt at 9a.m, in that 20-seater minibus but yet loaded with more than 40 persons. Cramped in that little bus, his only comfort was the scenery. Despite sitting in a painful position, the pain wasn't felt because Joseph's kid-like emotions numbed it. It was a minimum 2hrs30mins trip. Looking through the transparent glass, all that seemed to be moving were houses, bars, schools and hotels. From time to time, churches could be spotted. Driving smoothly on a well-tarred road, he noticed a direction sign board pointing towards two areas: SOA (the quarter holding one of the country's public universities) and also towards OLEMBE. Arriving at OLEMBE everyone noticed from a certain distance the gigantic sports complex gradually rising, taking a bright and majestic feature. That outstanding complex was not only physically big but financially cumbersome. And as the bus crossed through OLEMBE, most passengers kept looking at that stadium till it vanished. After OLEMBE, the next signpost that caught his eye was the one welcoming them to EZEZANG. From that point, there was a drastic change in scenery. No more cement houses, schools or city hotels. Only green, green and green everywhere. Thick forest, grassy plains, rocky plains, and dotted houses. Most of those houses were thatch houses built in those green landscapes. No road led to those houses, except for some tracks that didn't have any grass on them. As Joseph looked at those houses and the kids that played around, he plunged into a deep session of thinking. He began thinking of destiny and fate. He thought of those kids whose visions were resumed to their houses and an infinite green stretching towards infinity. Did those families even have any good information on what was happening in the big cities? Did they even know about universities and professional schools? That kept troubling him along the way. When he snapped out of it, he could read 'WELCOME TO OMBESSA'. A rather peaceful and calm area. No one could ever believe that theft and rape were common to the inhabitants of that area. The most horrifying thing is that the rapists don't target young and juicy ladies. They prefer old women. Women in their late 70s. There was a raping incident that shook the whole area. 3 young boys, in their early 20s, raped an old lady to death. One of the boys was caught a few days after. Till today it is still a mystery how the police made before knowing one of the perpetrators but catching one, led to the apprehension of the two others. The reason for doing such an act was simple;

"That was a condition to be rich." One of the boys answered. That was reason enough to take someone's life in such a disgraceful manner. Clearly, life isn't balanced. Supporting the 3hrs of torture in the bus, Joseph finally arrived at his destination. The bus dropped Joseph at the community of BAFIA. The community that boasts of its agricultural achievements. The community known in the whole national territory as the pineapple incubator. They produced very sweet and juicy pineapples. With two deep breaths, Joseph pressed on forward in search of the truth. He was dropped around the market square. Not knowing how to move on, he stopped a motorbike.

"Please, I need a little orientation," Joseph asked. But the biker did not understand what he was saying. French was predominant in that region of Cameroon. Most people grew up without hearing a single English word. But what was common was pidgin English. Pidgin English, commonly known as 'kamtok' (Cameroonian Talk) is popularly spoken in the Northwest and Southwest regions of Cameroon. Also popularly referred to as 'the language of the soul', because each word spoken in pidgin emanated a certain ancient aura. It is even rumoured that when you speak in pidgin you can't lie. You can say and only say the truth.

Hearing some saleswomen speaking in pidgin, Joseph ran towards them for directions.

"Abeg wuna helep me," Joseph spoke, asking them for help.

"Weti di trouble you?" One of the ladies asked in return.

"A di find some man pikin for dis village. A no sabi for where ei di shidon." Joseph explained.

"You sabi his name?" The lady asked.

"Yes. De di call ei say BINGANA" Joseph responded. With that, the women told him how to arrive at the house of the only BINGANA in the whole village. Joseph followed their instruction and was left at a certain roundabout. The road to the person he aimed to see was untarred and difficult to navigate. There was no specific direction apart from the fact that he was told to move forward and check for the only house he shall see to his right. So, Joseph walked, preparing a compelling speech in his mind. He walked for about half an hour before seeing a house to his right. Not too big, nor extravagant, the house was well built. No compound to protect from intruders. It was a bare house built on a piece of land, with a back yard pointing towards a thick forest and a front yard with untrimmed grass. Joseph went and knocked.

"Am coming." An old man's voice echoed from within the house. The cranking of several locks being unlocked was heard but the door didn't open.

"Who is at the door?" Mr. BINGANA asked.

"It is Joseph. ZENU Joseph." Joseph spelt out. The door finally opened. A man in his mid-fifties stood at the entrance. He was holding a muddy machete, his toes feet covered with mud and the dresses covered by dust. That was BINGANA Arnold. Father to Risa and other kids. Mr. BINGANA owned almost half of the village lands. With these lands, he planted several cash crops, had a poultry farm and reared little cattle.

"Joseph. My son, it's been a while. You decided to come pay your dad-in-law a visit?" Mr. BINGANA asked.

"Yes, Dad. I came to visit and check on your well-being." Joseph answered, hiding his intentions.

"And you still came alone." Mr. BINGANA answered.

"Still came alone? I don't understand what you mean by that." Joseph answered. That remark gave him the opportunity to redirect the conversation to his liking.

"Really? When you came here two years back to tell me of your date with Risa, you were alone. You didn't even bring her. It was really strange. Bold nonetheless but still strange. She was supposed to be by your side but she wasn't there. That didn't seem to disturb you but as for me, I saw a huge problem in that action." Mr. BINGANA answered, ushering Joseph inside. Joseph sat on a bamboo chair. A little squared-shaped bamboo chair. Mr. BINGANA excused himself for a while and came with a 5 litres gallon of palm wine.

"I hope you like palm wine." Mr. BINGANA spoke

"How will I not like the ancestral beverage? The drink of kings and chiefs." Joseph responded accepting the first cup being served to him by Mr. BINGANA. He sipped it silently. Enjoying its freshness, its morning smell and above all the feeling it procured as it ran down his throat.

"It's been very long I didn't have this quality wine," Joseph said, sighing joyfully.

"You can't have this quality in the capital city. That's a shame." Mr. BINGANA said, raising his horn cup for a toast.

"Indeed dad. It is a shame." Joseph followed, raising his plastic cup. The two men bumped their cups, while happily smiling. They began drinking silently. Just enjoying the wine. Without noticing it, the 5-litre gallon was empty. Mr. BINGANA left again and this time around came with a 30-litre gallon of palm wine.

"Conversations of men are enjoyable when accompanied with some fine boose." Mr. BINGANA opened.

"I couldn't say better," Joseph responded, nodding his head in acknowledgement. And the two men dug in. sipping several cups.

"So, dad. Could you enlighten me on the problem you see in me coming to see you without her?" Joseph answered. Mr. BINGANA cleared his throat before pouring out what brought Joseph down a path of self-rediscovery.

Meanwhile, Joseph was hunting for his past, someone else was actively making sure to get his way with his beautiful niece. Leon was stranded. No one knew of Leon repeatedly committing incest with his cousins. No one could also have pictured the fact that his charisma and intelligence were spiked through those taboo acts. No one could also imagine all the lives of people he destroyed by doing that. He didn't care so long as he was fine. Leon began pressing Risa. Risa was very special. She had that thing that all his conquests didn't have. It was something passionate. As an adult, he shouldn't have wanted to steal that for it didn't belong to him. But that is what he stole from all the ladies he had intercourse with. Risa began being scared of her uncle. She was scared of coming back home. Leon's actions became more and more oppressive. He would sleep in front of her door. Peek at her while she is undressing. Stalk her to a certain extent in school. One time, he almost raped her when she was taking a bath. All those actions led Risa to be scared of her own niche. So, the same day Joseph travelled, Leon, in the BINGANA residence, grabbed Risa and pulled her to his room. He locked the door and quietly sat on his bed. Risa stood by the door looking everywhere except at her uncle.

"We have to discuss." Leon opened

"Yes. We need to cut some T's and dot some I's" Risa pressed.

"What's happening with you?" Leon said, standing up and moving towards Risa.

"Nothing. I am still me." Risa answered, moving away from him as he approached.

"You see. You are running away from me. Am I scaring you?" Leon asked, stopping his advancements towards Risa.

"Yes. I am scared of you. Very scared of you." Risa answered. Things had gone south between them. Leon couldn't imagine such growth. He didn't know that Joseph was reshaping her to become his wife. Risa was the first person surprised at how she was strong, firm and assertive in all that she said. She had always had a soft spot for her uncle. She had always done all that her uncle told her to. She had been so committed to him that, she was offering her body to him when he wanted. In her eyes, she was helping her uncle. She was generous and doing a good thing. But this renewal in her relationship with Joseph, broke that dogma instilled in her. Joseph began his remodelling with little explanatory actions. Then he went to deeper teachings. He instructed her on how to live. He showed her so many things about what makes life unpleasant and what makes it pleasant. He strengthened her faith, encouraging her to be a better person. He did all those teachings with biblical texts. And the effects were very visible. The only person to suffer from it was Leon. Leon couldn't have his way anymore with her. Leon moved towards Risa again. As she tried to run away, he rapidly skipped and held her hand. He pulled her towards him and slowly pinned her to the wall. Both were breathing heavily in each other's faces.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Leon whispered.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Risa said, deviating her gaze from his.

"Yes, you know," Leon answered, kissing her. It was just a slight lip-to-lip touch. But he didn't get the desired effect.

"Please stop it," Risa said. But Leon wasn't listening to her. He went for a second kiss but Risa pulled her lips away. Leon approached further, pressing his legs on hers, exerting all his weight on her. He released one of his hands and grabbed Risa's cheeks.

"You belong to me. You are my little plaything. A plaything doesn't run away from its owner." Leon said, kissing her again. The kiss wasn't reciprocated. But he continued. He needed to forcefully turn her on but it wasn't working. He kept kissing and kissing till he got tired.

"Remember those days of pleasure," Leon began. "We had this passionate secret. A secret full of ecstasy and eros. It was our little delicacy. One that benefitted us in all aspects of life. Spiritually and physically. Do you mean to throw all of that away?"

"Yes, I will gladly throw it away." Risa coldly answered. That felt like a blow to the stomach. Leon removed all his weight from her and took his distance away from her.

"At least, he doesn't treat me like a plaything," Risa said, driving another pin into the open wound.

"And who is the 'he'? Joseph, I suppose." Leon answered

"You suppose correctly," Risa answered.

"Always him. Always him. Always him." Joseph screamed. His scream was such that, his throat ached.

"So, it is because of him, right? It is due to him that you have suddenly become bold and assertive." Leon added.

"Yes, and no," Risa answered

"I see. Means I should be happy for you right?" Leon laughed.

"What's funny?" Risa asked, puzzled by Leon's reaction. She knew Leon won't take it well. She knew he won't accept but that reaction was not normal. What was he laughing about?

"You are very naïve, little lady." Leon said, sitting on his bed.

"I don't get it." Risa pressed on, urging her uncle to spill the beans rapidly.

"Of course, you won't. You never asked yourself how Joseph would react if he heard of our little secret?" Leon asked. Indeed, he was right. Risa was drowning in her renewed love for Joseph that she wasn't thinking of how he would react if her secret was exposed. Sincerely speaking, she was always thinking of it. But due to recent events, she forced herself to push those negative thoughts under the rug. She saw Joseph as someone who would forgive her everything. After all, he is the one that said he will make sure the relationship ends up into a marriage.

"Well, Uncle Leon," Risa began, with a lot of negligence. "For your information, our secret is no more a secret."

"You are jokester. You almost got me there." Leon spoke, chuckling and giggling. But to his greatest surprise, Risa showed a serious face. At that instant, Leon stopped laughing and settled down. He began scratching his face in panic. At the moment Risa saw that, she knew she had won the gamble. To fool someone, you must first fool yourself. That is the number one rule in poker. That is the rule Risa executed with extreme subtlety. Risa lied. She didn't want Leon to have a pressure point on her. So, she lied. She has never told Joseph of that. Talk less of even thinking of telling him.

"Well suit yourself." Risa responded.

"That can't be true. If he knew, why does he still behave so friendly with me?" Leon asked, looking for little hints certifying Risa's lie.

"Should we call him and ask? Or if you want you can ask him whenever you desire." Risa proposed, slightly bumping up her chest.

"Do you know what is most humiliating for a man?" Leon asked.

"Nope. Instruct me with your wisdom." Risa said, with a pinch of sarcasm in her voice.

"In ancient times, to humiliate a man, you had to lay his girl. Just that was enough to make him lose face in front of all who know him. Kings and aristocrats did that and powerful men still do that. So, you are trying to tell me that, Joseph knows that I laid you up and he was capable of forgiving me? Leon explained.

"Yes, yes and yes. I now see that you don't even know who your bro is. His heart and mind are as so positively logical and flexible." Risa explained, with a comforting expression in her eyes. The expression in her eyes was the bullet that shattered Leon's insistence. He knew it was lost. Risa was officially out of his grasp and he couldn't do anything. With that Leon pushed Risa out of his room. His disappointment was at its peak. The stress caused just by imagining that Joseph knew of his secret made his body rigid and heavy as a log of wood. Risa, upon leaving Leon's room immediately aimed for the toilet. She went and vomited. Then cleaned herself and went back to her bed. When they began their discussion, no one marked the time but when she came back from the toilet, it was 10 pm. She picked up her phone and called Joseph.

"Hey, honey. How is the hunt?" Risa asked gently.

"Well, I am not dissatisfied. Though I have just started the hunt." Joseph said heavily.

"Good for you," Risa answered.

"Thanks for caring. How was your day?" Joseph asked.

"It was strange. Real strange." Risa answered.

"Wow. Doubly strange?" Joseph asked.

"Triple strange," Risa answered, laughing loud. Just his voice was enough to comfort her and bring her back to ground zero.

"Honey?" Risa called.

"Still online," Joseph answered.

"When are you coming back? I miss you." Risa sulked.

"In 3 days. I think this coming Friday." Joseph answered

"Ok. Long but I will wait. We have so much to discuss. I have something raw to tell you." Risa answered.

"No worries big girl. When I come back, we shall discuss till the ends of time." Joseph reassured.

"In the meantime, take care. Have a good night." Risa said.

"Thanks, plum. Dream gently." Joseph responded, dropping the call.

"And who was that son?" Mr. BINGANA's voice echoed in Joseph's ears.

"It was Risa. She was wishing me good night." Joseph answered.

"How generous of hers. You indeed need to rest. We have a very long day tomorrow." Mr. BINGANA responded.

"Noted Sir," Joseph answered, picking up his bible. As always, he read some bible verses before sleeping. And before he slept, he kept meditating on all that Mr. BINGANA told him. He realized it was only now that Risa and him were truly in love. But still, something was off somewhere. He still wasn't capable of figuring out how he truly was. Their discussion just showed how naïve he was and how Risa surely exploited that for her own gains. While meditating he fell asleep.

In a blink of an eye, the sun was illuminating the fry-day. Joseph thanked Mr. BINGANA for all and marched towards the point where vehicles gathered. This time around, there was no bus agency. What he did was take a bike and ask him to leave him at the outskirts of the village. At that point, he would board any vehicle that was going back to the capital and was willing to carry him. He found one easily and before 1 pm, Joseph was back in the city. He had not advanced much but at least he knew he was going in a better direction than the one he was following in those forgotten years. He rested a little and woke up at 6 pm. He took a warm bath and immediately went back to work. Deep in his anti-nuclear space (his reading space), he began doing research. After an hour his phone rang. It was Dr. Primera.

"Hello, Joseph. How is it?" She greeted.

"I am very fine. To what do I owe your call?" Joseph immediately cut to the chase.

"I have the whole day for me and myself tomorrow. So, I wish us to meet and discuss about you know what." Dr. Primera answered.

"Thank you very much. I will pass by the hospital. Thanks again." Joseph spoke.

"Don't sweat young guy. My patients after leaving my hospital need a definite closure with what was afflicting them. Your case is not yet closed. So, let's try finding the ultimate solution or solutions tomorrow. Till then, take care." Dr. Primera spoke, immediately dropping the call.

"Since I am no more focus, why not call her," Joseph spoke to himself. He dialed her number and they began conversing.

"Guess who's back girl?" Joseph asked.

"Jesus Christ?" Risa answered, laughing loudly through the phone.

"Please, spare my ribs," Joseph answered, laughing loudly too.

"In conclusion, the hunt was good?" Risa asked.

"Yep. Just as I expected." Joseph answered.

"Good for you," Risa responded.

"So, what did you want to tell me? I am back and all ears." Joseph questioned. Risa remained quiet. Saying nothing for a couple of minutes. She then cleared her throat and spoke.

"I don't know how to say this. I don't really know how to say this." Risa difficultly said.

"Just say something. Twist your tongue, form words and let the air around you vibrate." Joseph scientifically explained. But Risa still wouldn't speak. She kept sighing sadly on the phone.

"I am pregnant," Risa spoke at last.