Right now, we're sure that a lot of things had changed between you and me that we'll never be able to avoid anymore... -- Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
[Setsuji]
SILENCE...
A deafening silence... It was my only thought while looking outside the window. I was just outside the auditorium where would be performing for the dance practicum of the club. I thought I didn't have to elaborate on the reason why I decided to stay there and who I was waiting for. Although I had to admit that, until that moment, I still couldn't believe that our truce would end there.
I couldn't help smiling bitterly. This was a weird feeling for me, to be honest. I don't know if I should be sad, irritated, or hurt. Right after the dance practicum, everything would surely end.
~"It was meant to end, anyway..."~
That amazon girl was truly unbelievable, to the point that she was surely absurd. Even know I knew that she was saying the truth, why was it that those words still hurt? It was real and there was nothing I could do about it.
Whether I liked it or not, the truce that Fukuizumi and I had come up with would end even if I wished otherwise.
I sighed again. Seriously, this was already the seventh time I sighed like that. How I wished those sighs could change everything.
"Mind taking it slow in sighing, Setsu? With the way you're sighing right now, it's as if you're not going to do it again tomorrow."
I raised my head when I heard that. I wasn't surprised when I saw Seiho approaching me where I was standing.
"I wish it could happen that way..." Great! What in the world was I saying right now?
"It looked like you're already giving what I said to you that day a careful thought, huh?" he said. Though in my perception, Seiho said those words in a form of a statement.
It only meant he already knew what was bothering me at the moment.
"I don't know. I wasn't sure if that was the answer I was looking for," I ended up saying when I held the thing I kept in the inner chest pocket of the three-piece suit I was wearing.
Our dance practicum required the use of appropriate costumes/attire. So that was what I wore. In any case, I was already used to wearing such formal attire because of the gathering events that my family was attending.
Talk about being born into such a rich family...
"Well, for now, all I can say is just take your time. With what's happening to the two of you these past days, you need to think things through. The answer will come out. Just don't force yourself."
I wanted to say something in contradiction to what my twin brother was saying. But what was I supposed to say? It was like I admitted that I would do it because he was right. Aside from that, what other kind of thinking was I supposed to do? Here I was, my mind was still in a mess and I had no idea how to fix it.
I wasn't even such an easy person.
"Just go inside the room. You still need to pick a queue number for the sequence of our performances later," Seiho said later on.
I only responded with a nod. But my attention wasn't on my twin brother. It was still in the direction where I knew Fukuizumi would come from the restroom.
"She'll come. You don't have to worry about anything, okay? She wouldn't miss this."
Yeah, right. It was really obvious that you have no idea about the dilemma I was going through at the moment, Seiho. But then, it wouldn't change anything even if I said that out loud.
I heaved another heavy sigh—-seriously, I should stop doing that—-before I entered the auditorium. I saw some of my clubmates lining up for them to pick a queue number from a box that was placed in front of Tachibana-sensei. I couldn't help thinking that Sensei prepared for this dance practicum—which could also affect some of our subjects' grades.
But even though I got the number, my mind was still on the day that Seiho confronted me. Seiho and I didn't have a normal talk that day.
Unfortunately, what I did when I brought Fukuizumi that day on the seaside cliff where the Promise Tree had reached Seiho. Before I knew it, there! I couldn't do anything to escape my twin brother's interrogation...
xxxxxx
My mind was a mess. I couldn't think properly. I had no idea how I managed to go home without even meeting an accident along the way. I wasn't even concentrating on the path I was taking.
I just found myself going to the veranda of my room. I was hoping that the air could help me disperse those thoughts that turned my mind into a muddle. But in the end, it was a futile effort.
As always. Especially if the reason for having a messed up mind would be the only girl I brought to my favorite place.
"It looks like the flowers aren't helping you anymore, huh?"
I turned almost immediately to the source of that voice. I just exhaled when I saw Seiho with that serious look on my brother's face. With him sporting such expression, he meant business. This was great! This guy would never stop when it comes to interrogating me.
If I could just say to him that he should spare me for now as to how Fukuizumi would usually say to me whenever that girl wasn't in the mood to go along with my teasing, I would've done so. But before I could say anything like that, he already said something that beat me to it.
"You brought Rinako to the seaside cliff."
What Seiho stated had caught me off-guard. Damn it! How did he know about that?
"So it's her?" Seiho asked.
But here I was, not saying anything about that. What else was I supposed to say? I was already busted.
But then, not saying anything—not even a single reaction—only proved one thing to my twin brother. It was like I answered his question with a "yes".
I just looked at the garden of the house that I happened to view very clearly from my room's veranda. That was the only thing I could do that could still possibly help me think properly.
"What exactly is happening to you right now, Setsu? You're suddenly doing something that we do not know anymore. The flowers, the time you comforted her because of Nakagome, and now even bringing her to the Promise Tree's location. What exactly are you planning? What do you want to happen now?"
I breathed out a sigh. With all the questions that Seiho asked, I wasn't sure why I wasn't able to answer any of them. Or maybe it was because I don't know the reason why.
Maybe I was afraid of learning the true intention behind those unspoken reasons.
"I don't know, Seiho. To be honest, my mind is a complete mess right now. I kept on doing things on impulse," I admitted without even looking at him.
"Could it be that... you already know the answer and you just don't want to acknowledge it?"
I stiffened when I heard Seiho's question before facing him. But the look on my twin brother's face already told me that what he said was a statement rather than a question.
"W-what are you talking about? I wouldn't say my mind was in a mess if I truly know the answer."
Just great! What a futile attempt in denial.
"Setsu, stop fooling everyone, okay? With all that had happened between you and Rinako, the one thing you've been avoiding can take place. If you didn't notice it, then let me tell you this. I already noticed it. Your actions spoke volumes that even you couldn't fathom as to how it happened whenever you do something for her."
I couldn't say anything to what Seiho said. To be honest, he even beat Mom with the way he was saying those words to me. But just like Mom, Seiho could read through me. It was just unbelievable.
But after that, I didn't face Seiho again. I just faced the setting sun. I would've appreciated the great and breathtaking view. But as usual, my mind was traveling somewhere else again.
"I guess I'm in deep, huh?" I said dejectedly, more like to myself. Just like a fool.
"You just realized that now?"
"That's obvious, right?" I replied sarcastically without looking at my irritating twin brother.
Just great! Instead of helping me with my problem, he was just piling up more of what I've been facing at the moment.
That is if I should consider the situation I have at the moment as a problem.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk! You know, Setsu, I think you'll only find peace for yourself and your mind when you finally admit what you feel in your heart to yourself."
"What does my heart have to do with this, huh?" I asked Seiho with a frown and faced him again.
Seiho scratched the back of his head before sighing heavily. Now I've done it!
"You know what? The reason why you couldn't think properly up to this point was that you're still in the stage of denial. Why not, for once, use your heart for you to know the real answer to the questions that's been bothering you until now?"
"What else am I supposed to deny for you to say that I'm still in a stage of denial?"
"That the reason for you to do all those things for Rinako is that you're already in love with her..."
xxxxxx
I stopped reminiscing on that part. There was nothing to recall anymore after that part. To cut the story short, I couldn't think of what to say next to counter Seiho's words.
But I guess I should say that my mind short-circuited after Seiho bluntly pointed it out to me.
Really, until now, I didn't know and I couldn't especially tell him (even to myself) that what he said was the answer.
My musing was cut off at that point when I listened to what was happening around me. And by doing so, for some unknown reason, my heart began to beat faster. This wasn't supposed to be something surprising to me but somehow, this was different.
There was a reason for me to feel this nervous. When I held the queue number on my hand tight, I slowly turned to where the door was, to where I heard the source of the bee-like whispers from my clubmates.
"Is that her?"
"This is unbelievable! She looks different."
"I almost didn't recognize her."
"Well, she prepared for it. Her partner for this dance practicum was no other than Mitsuta Setsuji."
"I wish I was Setsuji-sama's dance partner."
"Yeah, right. It would take a large amount of good luck for you to pass this dance practicum if he became your dance partner."
My attention wasn't even there even though I could fully hear those words they were saying. My focus was glued to the entrance of the auditorium as the people around me continued chattering and whispering.
And here I was... I became speechless because of what I saw.
Was this for real? Was I seeing Fukuizumi at the moment going down the stairs from the entrance? Was this the Fukuizumi Rinako that I usually see and tease as an amazon?
Heck! She doesn't even look like an amazon girl at all. If I had to be honest, she looked a lot like an elegant princess with the way she was carrying her dress... or gown, I should say. It seemed she had prepared for this day, huh? Even though she was always showing how irritating it was for her to wear such things.
She was wearing a light blue gown made from soft materials that flowed and emphasized her body well. Wow... I guessed that was all I could say to myself right at that moment as I looked at her more and watched her descend from those steps. I never thought I'd see this girl wear such clothing and show off the charms and assets she'd been hiding under those cardigans that she would usually wear.
"Hey, Setsu! Don't let them see how stunned you are or else they would notice how much you like her."
My eyes narrowed when I faced Seiho who whispered those words to me. This guy knew how to ruin my mood. I wasn't even saying anything about his advances toward Mayu. So how come he was there to notice everything I do?
I could hit this guy, for real. Maybe I should talk to Mayu one of these days and tell her to smack my twin brother in my place.
"You don't have anything to do in your life, huh? Stay away from me for a while, will you? You're always disturbing me," I said to Seiho who was just getting annoying by the minute.
But this guy still had the guts to laugh at me. Who wouldn't be annoyed at this kind of action, huh?
It was late for me to notice that Fukuizumi finally reached the bottom of the stairs. As she stood there just a few feet in front of me, I couldn't help noticing that she was... tensed. But perhaps it was an understandable action because we considered this practicum as our "dreaded day".
Since this dance practicum could affect the grades in some of our subjects, I could say it was understandable why we were feeling like this.
But then, I had a feeling that... there was another possible reason why she was like this. I wasn't exactly sure but that was how I felt it.
"You look... different today." Great! Just what kind of socializing skills do I have today, huh? Argh!
Well, despite feeling tensed—not to mention stupid, I was able to make Fukuizumi smile. It was a shy smile—one that I could barely see from her.
When I would see something like this, I ended up thinking of saying a mischievous compliment. Wait... Was there even something like that?
And then she would burst her irritation out on me.
But it was different this time. I couldn't find myself doing anything, playful or otherwise when it comes to this girl. Especially at this moment.
Her hands were clasped together. I didn't know if it was on impulse, but I found myself holding them to calm her down.
"It's only for today so there's no reason for you to be nervous like this."
A sad smile son formed her lips. I frowned when I saw that.
"Yes, I know. That's why I'm nervous. And besides..."
But even if Fukuizumi would pause like that, I already knew what she wanted to point out. Please, don't say it...
"...today is the last day. I think our lives would be back to normal after this, right?"
Would it really return to normal?
Just like that?