A few years later when I was not part of the family Cale got in touch with me from time to time to ask how I was doing.
I never really opened up to him but he later offered me a job when I told him I knew a few things on coding. So our relationship never progressed or regressed. It was a stable and ambiguous relationship.
At least that was what I tried to tell myself. It was only until recently was I aware of my changing emotions towards my 'best friend'.
Why did he make it so hard to ignore these feelings? How am I supposed to suppress them if you keep giving reason not to?
Though I did hate the fact that I could not have control over these types of emotions I didn't hate falling for him. I hated myself for being selfish and greedy. I wanted him to see me in half the way I see him to probably acknowledge me as a 'best friend' at most. Mutually.
The next morning greeted me with red sleepy eyes and exhaustion but nothing a double coffee shot wouldn't solve. I ended up waking up and feeling extra conscious from my body reaction. And worse I couldn't seem to fall back asleep so I had to stare off the rest of the night.
"Good morning"