Editors: Speedphoenix, Joker
The feeling that came over me as my body was deconstructed was bizarre to say the least. I was still conscious even after being disassembled; I was well aware of the fact that everything had gone dark. A few moments later, I experienced the exact opposite sensation. My body was rebuilt from the ground up. My eyes regained their function, albeit gradually, to reveal that I had returned to the true throne room. My trip to the demon realm had become a thing of the past.
I wasn't using my own warp crystal. Mine had ultimately ended up in Nell's hands as a result of a series of poorly timed coincidences. Fortunately, we had a spare. Enne didn't need one in weapon form, so I had her assume it, borrowed her handy-dandy teleportation device, and beamed the both of us right back to the dungeon.
"Oh my…" My companion, Leila, voiced her surprise right as my eyes finished adjusting. She was well justified in doing so. The first thing we had perceived upon our return was the hero.
The half-naked hero.
She had gone stiff. Witnessing us warp in had left her so surprised that she had effectively ended up freezing in time. Well then… Looks like someone was in the middle of grabbing a change of clothes.
Our timing was bad, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been. She was, at the very least, not fully naked; her bottom was covered by a pair of pajamas. The same, however, couldn't be said for her top. The only thing that was hiding her chest from sight was the arm she had held in front of it. Her skin, tanned by the sun, almost seemed to glow under the dungeon's artificial lights. Wait, I recognize those PJs. I'm pretty sure they're Lyuu's.
"…"
The only thing that followed Leila's comment was silence. Neither I or any of the girls spoke. We simply stood where we were and engaged in a long, uncomfortable staring contest. Well then. This is awkward. I should probably say something. Yeah, that'd probably help break the ice.
Though I tried, attempting to speak didn't work out, at least not at first. My first few attempts did nothing but make me look like I was trying to mime a goldfish. My brain had yet to finish processing the situation at hand; it was stuck in a loop. A good mental kick or two managed to remedy the problem, however, as I eventually managed to drop the fish act and squeeze out a greeting.
"You know, it's kinda hard to tell when you've actually got clothes on, but you've got a pretty nice pair of tits."
"Stop staring at me already, you pervert!"
I was about to say something snarky, something along the lines of 'Pervert? Where? What pervert?' but sadly, I didn't end up having the chance. My expression had apparently revealed my intentions, as my face soon found itself greeted by her fist.
The sudden sucker punch caught me completely off guard and almost immediately robbed me of my consciousness. The last thing I remembered before passing out was groaning as I flew into one of the dungeon's walls. Shit… I probably… shouldn't have… said that…
***
"I trust you understand the reason for which I have demanded your repentance?"
Upon regaining consciousness, my swollen face and I soon found ourselves in the middle of the hall that was the true throne room. Lefi had demanded that I sit in front of her with my knees forward, my back straight, and my legs tucked under my butt. It was a traditional, Japanese pose, one that often signified either repentance or discipline. And in this case, it was apparently supposed to be the former.
I had to comply. The dragon girl wasn't happy. She seemed to be exuding an imposing, domineering aura, one that served to indicate that she would not be taking 'no' for an answer under any circumstances whatsoever. She wasn't the only one either. Illuna had done her best to emulate the dragon's pose and aura, as she too stood before me with her arms crossed. To her other side was Nell, who, like the others, was far from happy and continued to flash me angry glares one after another. That said, unlike the other two, she seemed to be feeling a mix of emotions; her cheeks were still tinged a shade of red from the incident. Is it just me, or has this been happening a lot lately? I swear, everyone keeps making everything out to be my fault even though it really isn't. What the hell, man, what the hell…?
"I believe it has something to do with the lady giving me the death stare, your honour." Lefi was effectively acting the part of a judge, so I decided to play along and speak in a tone much more polite than my usual one.
"I am pleased to know that you do not remain utterly unaware of your misdemeanours. Now speak, confess the precise details of your sin!"
"I'm sorry, your honour. The issue was that I happened to see her naked."
"Geez, Yuki, I know it was an accident, but you could've at least been a bit more considerate!" Nell immediately began complaining about my supposed lack of delicacy.
"You are mistaken. I would not have demanded an apology for a matter so trivial."
"Yeah, Yuki! You heard her! You better be mo—wait, what?"
Lefi's response caught Nell completely off guard. The hero ended up cutting her own lecture short with a double-take the moment she finally realized that the two of them weren't on the same page.
"My anger stems from the manner in which you have dealt with the opposite sex. It appalls me to know that you have invited yet another woman into your abode. And that is but merely half my complaint! I have been informed by both Leila and Enne that you remained completely unreserved in your interactions with other women. You continued to seduce them despite my explicit warnings. I cannot believe you! What part of my instructions have you failed to understand!?"
"O-oh, that's what you meant… She's still right, Yuki! You heard her! What's wrong with yo—wait a second! Did she just imply I was seduced!?"
Again, Nell hopped on board and began admonishing me, only to do a double-take the moment she realized that her thoughts differed from the dragon's. Oh Nell, you derpy little thing.
"Why do you laugh, Yuki? Do you not understand that I have ordered you to reflect upon your actions?"
"I'm sorry, 'your honour,' I'll totally 'carry out my sentence' or whatever. But first, I've got something I need to say." I kept up the whole judge facade, but reverted to my usual, overly-casual tone. I even threw in a bit of sarcasm, just 'cause.
"And what would that be?"
"So, I've kinda got absolutely no memory of doing any of the stuff you're accusing me of. Iunno what you've heard, but I'm totally innocent."
"Hah!" She snorted. "A more brazen lie, I've never heard. Enne, I call you to the stage. Provide your testimony at once!"
"Mmk…" The sword girl standing behind Lefi, stepped forward.
She wasn't really what I would call easy to read. Her expression basically never changed. But as of late, I had become capable of discerning the subtle differences between her various emotions. That was why I could tell that, for one reason or another, she didn't exactly seem all that happy. In fact, she was very much like the others in the sense that she too was looking at me like I was some sort of criminal.
"Master was smitten by the girl with cat ears. And the demon with the big chest."
Big chest? Oh, she must mean the Rouinne chick we met on the coach. It didn't take me much effort to recall the girl in question. Unlike most of the other people I'd met, she was memorable, in part because of her shapely figure, and in part because she was the type to wear a good bit less than she probably should.
"Behold! A witness present at the scene of the crime speaks against you!" said Lefi. "There is little more for you to say in the face of such solid evidence!"
"Yeah! There's no way you could possibly talk your way outta this one!" Again, Illuna mimicked Lefi; she too raised a hand as if making a declaration. Awwwww. That's adorable. What a cutie pie.
"L-Look, I know things are looking pretty bad for me, but just listen. I can explain," I said. "You see, that's just how Enne saw things. It wasn't how they really were. The truth is that I'm totally innocent. The whole cat girl thing was driven by curiosity since I'd never seen anything like her before. And I wasn't into the girl with tits either!" Of course, a part of my lack of interest had stemmed from Enne herself. My trusty sword had always made sure to butt in before I lost control. Like damn, she's so good at shutting people down that she'd put Gori to shame. Hell, she could probably even deny his signature Gorilla Dunk pretty easily if she felt like it.
"Mmrphh…" Enne groaned in dissatisfaction. "Bad master. No lying."
"Oh come on. I'm not lying. You just had it all wrong. Like come on, why would I go girl hunting when every bit of love I have to spare is already being eaten up by you girls? We are family, after all. Besides, I'm already married to the best girl this world has to offer. There's no reason for me to ever bother going after anyone else."
"I-I suppose that certainly is the case."
"Wow! Thanks! I love you too, Yuki!" giggled Illuna.
"Mhm. Me too," agreed Enne.
Going on the offensive worked. Illuna and Enne were both struck by a sudden burst of embarrassment. Lefi had it even worse. She blushed as she began to stammer and trip over her own words.
"W-wait, girls, stop! Don't let him trick you! He's just trying to distract you and make you forget why you were mad at him!" Unfortunately, the individual I had failed to include in my appeal had caught onto my plans. Argghhh, I was so close! Damn you, hero! Curse you and your ability to foil my carefully constructed plans! I bet it's just cause I'm a demon lord!
"W-whatever the case, you must endeavour to revise your attitude!" stuttered Lefi. "Y-you must be more careful in your treatment of the opposite sex!"
"Sure thing, wifey. Will do." I zoned Lefi's lecture out and started casually nodding along as she spoke.
"And as you are my h-husband, it is imperative that you act the part. You must always carry yourself in a manner befitting that of the Supreme Dragon's mate should you leave our lair!"
"Aye aye, wifey. Orders received."
"It pleases me to know that you are willing to abide by my commands. I would not mind putting an end to your admonishment so long as you do not forget what I have said to you today."
"Roger that, wifey. I got it."
"Excellent," said Lefi with a smile. "Then I suppose I have no qualms with you claiming another bride. Very well. I permit you to take Nell as one of your mates."
"Thanks, wifey. I'm glad you're so understa—"
…
…
…
Wait.
What?
***
"W-where the heck did that come from!?" Nell opened her eyes wide in shock as she squeaked like a mouse. Evidently, I wasn't the only one caught off guard by Lefi's irrational declaration.
"You need not act so surprised. I am well aware of your desires."
"I-I know you are, but that came out of nowhere! You could've at least told me you were going to bring it up!"
The only response the dragon offered the panicked hero was an exasperated sigh. And here I was thinking they were on the same page.
"Wait, Lefi, hold up. What the hell's all this about? Mind explaining?" I placed a hand on the side of my head and massaged one of my temples as I reentered the conversation.
"What is it that you need me to explain?" Lefi frowned in confusion as she looked down at me. "Was wedding her not your intention? I see no other reason for you to have brought her here."
"Look, I'm pretty scummy, but I'm not so scummy that I'd go hunting for more women before I even take my wife out on a honeymoon," I said. "I didn't warp her here because I wanted to marry her. She just happened to collapse right as I got myself into a fight, so I sent her away in order to make sure she didn't end up getting caught in the crossfire."
"Were your foes powerful enough to merit such an extreme measure?"
"Nah, they were pretty weak," I said. "But it seemed like she was probably going to jump right back into the fray the moment she woke up. That kinda didn't really seem like the best idea considering how tired she was, so I did her a favour and kept her away from all the action."
Potions weren't cure-alls. They couldn't relieve exhaustion. And Nell had accumulated a lot of exhaustion. The fight she had been engaged in had left her with such a massive stamina deficit that I suspected she probably wouldn't have been able to reasonably accomplish anything beyond lying in bed for a few days. Reasonably.
If there was one thing I knew about the hero, it was that she was anything but reasonable. Her devotion to her cause bordered the line of absurdity. There was simply no way a mere wave of crippling fatigue or two could keep her in bed. And that was precisely the problem. Nell wouldn't have abided by her limits. She would have pushed forward and returned to the wingbearers' village and save all that remained. Even in spite of her body's need for rest. It would have been a literal death march, but she would have gone anyway.
Because that was what it meant to be a hero.
That was what it meant to be Nell.
"S-so sending me here was all for me? W-wow. So you really do care…" The hero began to fidget as her face flushed. Stop that. Stop blushing. And stop staring at me all embarrassed-like. You're starting to make me feel real uncomfortable right about now.
"Uhhhh suuuuuuure." I averted my eyes away from the hero's passionate gaze and turned back towards my wife. "Anyway, so like I was saying, I only had her sent here 'cause shit happened. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."
"But was it not an action you performed only after accepting her love for you? I was informed that your heroic rescue deepened her love for you to such an extent that she chose to profess her affections immediately."
"W-w-whaaaahhh!? D-did you really have to tell him that!? I totally asked you to keep it a secret!" screamed Nell.
"Nell's just like Lefi! She loves you a whole lot!" said Illuna.
"Not you too Illuna!"
Uhhhhhhh… I… uh… uhhhhh… Yeah, uhhh shit. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Or do. Or think. Or feel. Like, shit. I actually have no idea, I'm totally stumped. Hey, Sh*nji, dude, you listening? Er, well, I guess you probably are with that whole god thing you have going on. Anyway, I know you'd know what to do at a time like this. Mind giving a bro a couple tips?
…
Alright, you know what, that's about enough escapism for one day. Fuck it. Time to man up and face reality.
I took a deep breath as I reflected on my memories. Thinking back, I probably would've seen this coming if I was paying more attention to her right before she passed out. Hell, I probably should've seen it coming from a mile away even if I didn't. I always used to bitch, moan, and complain at dense protagonists who didn't notice when people made moves on 'em, you know, 'cause of how obvious it was, but I kinda totally just pulled the exact same thing myself. Fuck, dude, I feel dumb as shit. I honestly have nothing to say for myself. That was all on me.
Er, well, actually, on second thought, I do have one pretty decent excuse. I was pretty pissed back then. I was doing my best not to let it show, but shit, I was mad. Like M A D. Can't really blame me for being too preoccupied to process what she said, can you?
…
Alright, fine. You totally can. Shut up. I know I'm an idiot.
While both Nell and I had been caught completely off guard, our reactions weren't by any means parallel. My expression indicated that I was just plain old surprised. Hers, on the other hand, pointed to something more akin to embarrassment.
"W-why did you have to tell him!?" The hero was so flustered by the other girls' betrayal that she burst out of the throne room and dashed down the hallway with her eyes filled with tears.
"Oopsie…" said Illuna. "I think we might've made her mad."
"You need not worry. She is not angry, she was merely incapable of containing her embarrassment."
"Sooo uh…" I turned to face Lefi again after watching the hero dash off. "I mean, I kinda get what you were going on about, but I also really don't. Like, Iunno. It just doesn't make sense. Why, exactly, do you want me to marry her?"
"We spoke at length," said Lefi. "The conclusion I reached from our interactions is that I would not mind you taking her as a mate. I appreciate her. The time that we spent in both your and Leila's absence left us without any skilled cooks."
Her voice grew quiet, and her words began to slow. Even the fiery light that normally blazed within the silver-haired maiden's eyes dimmed as she elaborated.
"It was a dark time, one that taught us the true value of a well-prepared meal. It was she who, as a skilled artist in the culinary arts, rescued us from the abyss."
The combination of her tone and expression was peculiar. Her aura almost seemed to resemble that of a sagely monk recalling the traumatic event that had landed him his permanent reservation in the psychiatric ward. So you're telling me that this whole approval thing is predicated on your friggin' stomach? Seriously…? Er, now that I think about it, they have always said that conquering one's stomach is no different from conquering their heart. Wait. Waiiiiit. What exactly was Lefi eating before she started living in the dungeon, anyway? And, hold up, why the hell were they so starved anyway? I could've sworn I'd left them all my recipes. And that's on top of a literal fridge-full of ready-to-eat meals.
"Alright, let's hit the brakes on the whole Nell topic for a moment. There's something more important I want addressed first. Has Illuna been eating properly? Or have you just been feeding her whatever?"
None of the dungeon's monster girls needed to eat. All Shii, the wraith girls, and our pets required to sustain themselves was the dungeon's mana. To them, filling their bellies was naught but leisure. Illuna, on the other hand, would die if she didn't get the right balance of nutrients. The same applied to Lefi and Lyuu, but I didn't really care what they ate. If they even ate at all. Unlike Illuna, they weren't in the middle of growing up. Neither was as likely to suffer dire consequences from malnutrition.
"Y-you need not be so concerned." My tone had left Lefi intimidated; her reply came with a stammer. "The meals we produced certainly could not be labelled as delectable, but they were far from utterly inedible. Moreover, our kitchen adventures were rather few in number. The dishes you prepared lasted a full week."
"Yeah! Things were looking really bad at first, but then we fixed it! We all worked together, did our best, and got a lot better at cooking!" The vampire's chest puffed up with pride as she spoke.
"Did you really…?"
"Yup! Really! I've gotten so good that I bet I can make something that'll totally blow you away!" said Illuna. "I can't wait to teach Enne everything I learned and get her up to speed!"
"Sounds great. I'm looking forward to trying it." I smiled at her before turning back towards Lefi. "Alright, it seems like that's that, so let's get back to talking about the other thing. Are you really sure you're okay with me taking more wives? 'Cause to me, that pretty much sounds like a pretty big red flag."
"It would be impossible for me to state, without lying, that I think nothing of it. I would be very angry if you were to become completely unfaithful, and I do not wish for you to indulge in infidelity. Still, I do not mind you taking more mates," she said. "While you have yet to reach my pedestal, you remain far beyond the norm. To any other, you are a storm, an unstoppable, almighty force of nature that bears power overwhelming. I expect nothing but for women to swarm to your side. Because that is this world's way."
She turned away from me and looked out the door as she continued.
"It is normal behaviour, even amongst dragons, for women to flock to men of great power. The opposite is also true. Men often attempt to court their mates with brute force. It is an experience I know well. Many have endeavoured to woo me with their might," she sighed as she grumbled. "And each was shown that they deserve nothing but to grovel at my feet."
Her words were striking. They once again forced me to understand that I wasn't one of this world's natives. That my values were different. But that didn't mean I was unwilling to adapt. I understood, and accepted, everything she said as fact.
Unlike modern-day Japan, this world was one in which only the fittest survived. It made sense, even for those outside the demon realm, to value strength. Because it, polygamy, was a survival strategy. Breeding with powerful individuals was a good way to bolster the survival rates of one's offspring, one's genes. And that was the exact task most living things were hardwired to try to accomplish.
I turned away from the woman who had ended up being surprisingly supportive of me taking more brides despite always grumbling about the fact that I needed to be less of a flirt, and instead redirected my gaze in Illuna's direction.
"W-what do you think, Illuna? Aren't you going to object to any of this at all?" The vampire was extremely attached to me, so I assumed that she would have something to say about me not having as much time for her.
"Not really!" But apparently, I was wrong. "You already promised that you were going to let me, Enne, Shii, Rei, Rui, and Lowe all marry you once we get bigger too, so I don't mind at all!"
"…"
Fuck.
I was stunned into silence. I remembered that they had made the request shortly after I had gotten married to Lefi, and I certainly did remember more or less nodding along and telling them to wait until they got older because I had expected their feelings to change by the time they became full-fledged adults. Shit. She isn't wrong. I did already technically agree to the whole polygamy thing.
"I would be really mad if it was someone bad. But Nell's a really good person, so it's okay! She's already my friend, and playing with her makes me really happy. If we all get married to you, then it means that all of us can be together forever! It'll be the best!" she said with an innocent smile.
That's adorable. Buuuut it's also the exact opposite of what I expected her to say. Feels bad, man. There goes plan B.
"As you may have gathered from Illuna's statement, the decision was unanimous. Still, it is by no means set in stone. I understand that our conclusion was reached in the lack of your presence and that we have no right to force it upon you. You are free to pretend that we had never discussed it if you so wish. But that is not what I desire." The dragon girl paused for a moment to allow her mouth to twist into a wide grin. "Yuki, I wish for you to demonstrate that you are no mere boy. Show me that you are capable of handling a woman who has fallen madly in love with you in a manner worthy of praise. Show me that you are a man."
Lefi, please. I'm pretty sure wives aren't supposed to get their husbands riled up about other women. That said, holy shit. That confidence though. Not to mention the open-mindedness. Hnnnng. I'm falling in love all over again. Lefi = best girl.
I quickly looked over at one of the room's corners and glanced at everyone currently seated at the table. Again, their reactions didn't do much to help me. Both maids expressed that they didn't have anything to say by shaking their heads. All Shii did was break into a big, innocent smile the moment I turned my eyes her way. Ermahgerd. What an angel. Hell, she's more than just an angel. She's probably some sort of archangel.
Welp. That didn't work. I guess I've pretty much got no choice but to resort to introspection. Alright, me, what do you make of this whole scenario? And be honest.
After taking a moment to brood, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't entirely against the idea. The thought of taking a second wife before I so much as took my first on a honeymoon was appalling. It bothered me to no end. But as a man, I couldn't help but think rather fondly of harems and harem-like situations.
The whole hero concept is a bit of a ridiculous shit show. Normally, I'd hate heroism and all that other autistic white knight bullshit, but that's just 'cause everyone's fake as fuck. The only thing retards like that do is try to inflate their own egos by making themselves look good. But Nell isn't like that. She's genuine. She's not some retarded poser that'll suddenly have a change of heart the moment they're put in real danger. She always faces every issue she encounters head on and gives it everything she has. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. She's clearly willing to put her life on the line. I don't really believe in her ideals, but I have to admit that the way she follows through on them makes her out to be one hell of a badass.
That does kinda come off as a bit of a warning flag, but it's also kinda charming, in its own right. A part of me wants to shirk away from her outta caution, but I think I'd probably rather spend more time with her than not anyway. You know, just to keep her out of harm's way. Her safety matters to me. I can say with certainty that I value her as much as Illuna, Leila, and everyone else I live with.
I know this next part is probably gonna sound shallow af, but it's important. Nell's one hell of a looker. She also just so happens to be my type. If I'd never met Lefi, I probably would've gone straight down the Nell route. Her telling me how she felt would've been more than enough to get me raising the sails and hoisting up the anchor. But that's the thing. I did. I did meet Lefi.
The Nell situation isn't like the Lefi situation. Lefi is a lazy sack of shit with an obnoxious attachment to victory. And I love that about her. I love it as much as I love the fact that she's probably the most thoughtful and caring person I've ever met. She understands how much all the little things really matter. As far as I'm concerned, Lefi is the definition of perfect. There simply isn't anyone else like her. And as much as I'd like a harem, I just can't. I can't bring myself to not give Lefi the full, undivided affection she deserves. Yeah, you know what? I should probably talk to her about it. About time too. That was way more than enough introspection for one day.
"Lefi, I love you. With all my heart," I said. "I think Nell's a good girl and that she deserves to be happy but honestly, I don't really want any more wives. You're the only girl for me."
"I certainly appreciate the sentiment. I suppose I may as well take this opportunity to discuss the target of my own affections. I find that the man I love is far too kind," she began to speak in a roundabout manner, seemingly out of embarrassment. "His disposition certainly bothers me. He is far too compassionate to guiltlessly cast aside a woman willing to, at a moment's notice, discard even her very life for the sake of the affection she bears for him. It is a flaw I would only have appreciated if not for the fact that two such women exist."
"Wow, what a lucky bastard," I chuckled and played along. "Pulling a stunt like that must've cost him his whole lifetime's supply of testosterone."
I got the message, loud and clear, so I slowly rose to my feet and readied myself for the conversation to come.
"Look, I'm still on the fence about the whole harem thing, but I'll at least go talk to her. I think it's time she and I have a nice long chat."
"It is," said Lefi. "Now go. We will remain right here and await your return."
Lefi saw me off with a gentle smile as I walked out the door, one that radiated nothing but pure unadulterated kindness.