I had heard everything that Kai had said time, the more I listened the more it sank deep and the more it made sense to me. Honestly finding out the truth this way kinda hurts. I feel like all this time I've been someone else and now I'm also finding out I'm a different being other than who I am. I have a lot of things I need to think about and then try and figure out what next. I didn't mean to leave Kai without saying a word but I just felt like if I stayed there then my mind will probably burst. I have a lot of queatonga and a lot of things running through it so if I dared remain there a little longer then I might be crazy. I just felt like I needed some time alone to think and at least come to terms with what he had told me. I might not show it but nothing feels okay, especially right now after what he has just said.
I had nowhere to go after leaving Kai so I returned to the hotel. I was surprised when I found that business was just as usual and people were still acting as if it was daytime. Jennie had told me that there were workers who worked on Sundays so I was not surprised that everything seemed to be working just normally. The owner of this hotel must be a rich one, not just rich but a super rich one. It seems like just one mammoth of a building because it's connected with others that belong to it too. The best thing about it is that you can see the sea and feel the waves just from where you are at the hotel. I needed to refresh my mind so I hurried to my room. Jennie was still dead asleep and I think that's good because I was not ready for some unnecessary conversations and stories that she never gets tired of telling, at least not now. I just wanted my mind to be free just like in water, yes being in the water is much easier. Thinking about that there's a water bath in the bathroom so I opened its tap and let the water flow until it was filled. I got off my clothes then got inside and lay under the water. Glad that I could still breathe underwater.
I stayed there for ten minutes but this was not helping at all. This is not the kind of water I needed, maybe if I had been in the ocean it would have been better but I don't think I wanna go back, not now. I got out and walked to the mirror. I had touched my hair when I was with Kai and I could feel that it is the usual locks, not entire locks but they looked like locks when not combed if I combed then they would be straight. Looking at it right now it was super straight even without me combing it. I just don't understand why the ocean water seems to have so much effect on me. I took a bathrobe and went to my window corridor. There I could feel the fresh air oozing over me, and it felt so good that I wanted to stay there longer. I looked at the ocean, so calm and gentle. I didn't want to keep on looking at it because if I did so for long then I would end up there. It just hit me that I had cleaned pools the other day, why hadn't I thought of this earlier? An idea just popped into my head. Since no one was allowed to swim at night then I would sneak and go to the last pool where no one would notice me. And just in case someone finds me then i'd pretended to have fallen by mistake while walking around, so that means I have to put my pajamas on, I'm sure they'd help because someone will actually believe that I was headed to sleep. I used the stairs to avoid meeting other staff members. I had realized that the part of the building we were in belonged to the staff members and I didn't want to raise any alarms or questions.
I used the backdoor to get out of the building and I had already succeeded to sneak out without anyone seeing me. Now I had to do the tiptoeing work. Didn't want to get caught by the security guards who were always roaming around. Looked around and no one was anywhere near. I had to get inside the water slowly without making it splash or making any noise. I then let myself sink deep and lay there, balancing. At least this felt a lot better than the jacuzzi. I don't know how many minutes I had stayed there but I felt that someone was around, I could feel his breath and steps. Ok, there was no way I was going in unless that person goes away. I stayed still enough and you'd think that nothing is in the water. I heard the splash of water and the waves it made distracted me. Wait, was this person planning on swimming here too? Okay, I'm dead now. Before I could get up, strong hands grabbed me, and he swam up with me. I struggled but the person held on to me firmly and he was much stronger than me, I couldn't fight him. We were up now and he placed me to seat on the pool walls that my legs were still dipped inside it.
"Are you that stupid to try and kill yourself... who are you and waist are you doing here at this time of the night? Aren'tyou supposed to be asleep?" Who was he anyway? Okay so I have to act calm and composed but can he just change that tone? I just don't like how he sounds.
"I'm sorry... I was walking around and I dell into the pool... thank you for helping me..." Well, I have said a nice thing so he should stop looking at me angrily.
"Are you lying ti me? Do you think I did not see you sneaking around? I was curious and then followed you only to see you getting in the pool yourself... and please I hate lies so don't even think of an excuse of saying that you were sleepwalking because I saw you clearly and the way you were sneaking, you were conscious" I can't think of something to say so I'll just keep quiet.
" I guess I need to tell Mrs. Sam, you are the new employee right?" she was not going to do that, was he?
"Hey, you don't have to tell her, please... it's going to cost me my job and I don't wanna lose it please" I had to beg right? Or should I hum a song that will make him forget?
"You think this is a joke? You would already be dead now and you're still thinking of a stupid job? We are talking about your life here!" He was yelling not talking and that's something I'm not ready for. I let him talk all the way he wanted. I was tired of talking and he wasn't stopping at all. If he was going to rat me out then I had nothing against him. I have a lot of things to think about right now, I wish my dad was here, he would be hugging me now. I closed my eyes imagining that he was hugging me only to find it was this person. I wanted to let go or push him away but it felt warm, I felt like it was my dad, this is what I was needing.
"Hey, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you... but be careful, your life is worth living so don't think about killing yourself again" He speaks so well and his voice is cooler and nice now but wait is he crying? Why is his voice broken?
"Wanna take a stroll together around the beach... It might help you think about not trying to kill yourself" He got out of the water and held my hand to help me stand up.
We walked around the beach and sat on the sand. This helped me relax my mind a little. I had realized that he was not that much of a talkative person as he had seemed to be.
"I lost my best friend... he drowned in a pool five years ago.... think about your family and friends when you feel like you are giving up on life.... they'll be worried if you leave them and in case you need someone to talk to you have me... Okay?" He said and I nodded. I think have been mistaking humans all along. I was in black pajamas and he was in a white tee and white shorts. This made me feel like a bad person just like the color I was wearing. Mermaids with black tails are very dangerous, I guess I don't need to dress in black anymore.
We parted ways at the entrance of the hotel and I headed straight to the staff quarters.