After hearing what his big brother Xoa said, Shan couldn't sleep anymore, and for the first time he felt really guity for how he treated the omega, back when Fanxi was trying to talk to him, but he was balantly trying to avoid him, remembering that one time at the hospital when Fanxi told him how he felt but he turned him down, at that time he felt that he had to, he remembered how unstable the omega looked back then,his face looked so pale and he looked thin, at that time he thought the actor has really lost weight, but he had to, so he left him out there and only a minute later he saw Fanxi been rushed into the hospital on a stretcher, back then he thought it was nothing but an act to get his attention, Shan walked slowly back into the living room he went back and started to clear the table and clean up, yet the memories of Fanxi back at the studio, kept coming to his mind, he remembered how the actor was overdosing his suppressants because of him, the moment came to his mind it felt so horrible, how the omega was suffering in silent all just to be a perfect actor, he couldn't help but remember how sometimes he loses consciousness during set. The guilt was eating him up, and now that Fanxi is on leave and can't do his job that makes him happy that job he puts so much effort towards, yet its all over because he might collapse anytime,so was it really worth it?? All the hate he had for Fanxi, was seeing the omega suffer, defenseless really what he was after??? He can't believe a person like him who is supposed to work on the side of justice just ruin someone's life.
Shan finished cleaning up before he even realising, the alpha still couldn't sleep so he pick more drinks and some snacks and decided to drink himself to sleep.
After about four more cans he picked his phone and dial a familiar number, the phone rang for a few seconds before the recipient picked; on the other side the recipient sounded tired, hey why are you calling me so late, I have work to finish you...
But Shan interrupted the other saying; hey look I know we said we did get back at them for leaving us behind, but I don't like what I did to him, the sound of silent cries could be heard from the phone, I don't think it's worth the pain, I hurt him you...know....I hurt him .. so bad, and he.....he...he isn't the same anymore, do you think it's worth it?? I am telling it might not be late now or you might lose something precious just like me, maybe it's time to let go, and just let fate take care of the rest.
The moment Shan said fate, Dz became riled up, it was so frustrating, raising his voice over phone he said; Fate???!!!....fate, oh please don't make me laugh, the last I remember if not for your good old pal fate, I won't be in this mess, I care for them even though they never did, and now look where i am??? The man whom i grew up with, i would have done anything for him, anything he ever needed from me, but no i was pushed away, and rejected he was never suppose to be my soulmate, but look here I am, but despite everything he isn't willing to tell me the truth, he is not the man i use to know, and i am now married to a man who is supposed to be my best friend and thanks to this so called fated pair thing, he thinks that is all life should, he always thought his fated pair will love him and stay and be loyal to him no matter what but I won't let it, until I break every little fantasy of his so don't call me and ask me to give up what i have been planning for years over something as trivial as guilt, cuz nothing nor guilt or anything would get in the way of my vengeance, now its very late Mr Shan and I believe you must be very tired from over working, so please get some rest. And just like that Dz ended the call.
Placing the phone down he sighs then laugh in a sad manner, his eyes says it all, what he is feeling at that moment, he actually wish Lanzi will tell him what really happened but since that ain't happening then he might as well just get on with his plan, but then why is everyone asking him if it's worth it, when he was losing all reason to leave where are they, when he suffered in silence, when everyone turned against him for what he can't change or had nothing to do with, then they call it fate, now everyone says its fate this, and fate that, well fuck all that am gonna make my decision, and untill they felt my pain I wont rest, and after every one get what they deserve then he will leave this world and its Fate.
now even sister Fei was pretty mad at him earlier asking him the same question if his hate and revenge is all worth it, because she feel like she is losing the kind man she calls her little brother, but the sad reality is that he never wanted to be this cruel, but he needed to be in order to survive in this cruel world, even he doesn't remember what his happiness is about, he lost everything what is there to lose now, when everyone judge him he wont get hurt because that part of him is already gone. He wish he did go back to those happy days but its not possible and now that Fu Lanzi is letting his guard around him, it's the perfect time to strike, his heat will be coming soon so he plans to use that to seduce the alpha, however what he didn't know was that Fu Lanzi plan to go away for his rut which is coming in few days, and as an unstable alpha, he goes to a far away island in order not to hurt anyone.