There was a time when I wanted to run away.
I planned the whole thing, I was gonna visit mom with Iris and get on a bus that would take me 4 hours away. Then on another bus that would take me 2 hours farther and then I would work in the only supermarket that agreed on hiring me.
Even though I kept thinking about Iris and how that would add to the pain she was already in, I still bought the bus tickets and waited at the station feeling unsure and miserable.
It all changed when Bliss's dad saw me at a minimarket buying the trip's supplies. I went there when I wanted to kill some time.
He was examining berries when I asked him about his scar and why would a scary looking man want to buy heavy cream and cake mixture, as if it was wrong! But I was still in the obnoxiousness phase I was having around that time.
When he laughed I told him that I actually thought his scar was badass and apologized seeing how kind he was. That's when he explained the stuff he's buying. He said it was for his daughter's birthday, which was on that exact day. He called her a name that I thought was weird and talked about her for long.
After I'd lived with my dad to the point I wanted to escape, I was genuinely glad this man who introduced himself as Leo was someone's father. Not any someone, but a daughter he thought greatly of, who made him proud and was the best family he's ever had.
He asked me if I wanted to come over for his daughter's birthday. For a moment there I'd forgotten about what I was doing and I was just with a father who seemed awesome.
I told him I couldn't and out of nowhere started telling him about my plan and why I thought of it. That I wanted to escape town because of how useless I feel and how my parents blamed me for everything.
He asked me if I had any siblings, I said yes, Iris my baby sister. Then asked me if I wanted to simply leave her in the middle of this mess… he asked me to wonder if they'll start blaming her instead, for the problems they couldn't own up to.
When I didn't know what to say, Mr. Leo got out his wallet and showed me this daughter he talked about. At that moment I felt myself losing some of the anger I had against everyone.
She had a messy long hair that you instantly assume would only get messier. She wore a yellow tee shirt tucked inside her baggy pants that only fit her because of the belt around it. At that moment Iris crossed my mind as she was, even at such a young age the best dressed person I knew.
But here I was thinking a messy hair, a pretty blushed face, a yellow tee shirt, a baggy pants and a tiny person was the most beautiful combination out there.
I thought I wanted Iris to meet her and realized if I tried to run away I would be leaving my baby sister behind and it's something I didn't really want.
No matter how long I live, I won't ever forget this favor Bliss's dad did. That night I decided to go back home to mom and Iris. When I reached the building I heard familiar crying so I started looking for where it came from.
On the side of the building, I saw Iris crying. I stared at her beating myself up for thinking she'd be safe with mom.
A broken AC's water was dripping on her hair that turned damp and she didn't even notice it. I took her away and dried her hair with my jacket and she asked me to hug her.
Being the neglected child, I believe that was the first hug I ever gave or received. She cried until the taxi arrived and I carried her to the back seat and she clutched to me telling me all about what happened when I was gone… she made me promise not to try with mom or come near this part anymore and I promised her to make her feel better.
Iris cried herself to sleep that night and neither mom or dad bothered to ask about her. Seeing how heartbroken she was, I never visited that part of town again. Even though I felt like Iris and Mr. Leo's daughter (Bliss) would've been great friends.
It took me a few years to visit that part again, it was to visit my love's parents. I fell in love with a tiny person who's the fondest part of my heart.
It all started 4 years ago when I'd just started the coffee shack and it was too small of a business that I was the only employee I had.
Right around closing time, this girl walked to the shack and ordered an English Cake. She was teary eyed and couldn't hold it together for some reason. I asked her what's wrong but she asked me to mind my business. She took her cake and walked away.
After I'd closed up, I walked towards The Frost per usual and there I saw the same girl sitting on the sidewalk.
"What?" She yelled at me.
"Are you okay?" I asked and sat next to her, she skootched away then answered.
"It's my birthday" she said, "I just found out what day it is."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean I never knew which day of the year was my birthday." She said, "I saw my passport in a drawer and realized I never knew when I was born."
"Is that why you're sad?"
"Partially yes, the other thing is I really feel like blowing a candle, like having someone to sing happy birthday for me, won't that be special?"
"What's your favorite food?" I asked and she found nothing random about that, figures!
"Anything eggplant!" She said excitedly.
"God no!" I said, "I don't like that stuff, give me something else."
"Bananas! I love Bananas!"
"Ok," I said getting up, "mind if you walk with me?"
She didn't mind a walk; we went to a supermarket. There, I asked her to wait at the in-café and went to buy a bunch of bananas and some candles.
At the registry I took the bananas out of the bag and stuck a candle on one and walked awkwardly to where I left the girl.
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday… what's your name?"
"Danielle," she said looking grateful, I'll never forget that look, "It's Danielle" she repeated, "but do the song all over again now that you know."
"Of course!" I said, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Danielle, one day this will be our anniversary!"
"That was out of tune" Dani said and blew her first ever candle.
It all was spontaneous after that night. With me she was all the things she was afraid of showing but once there were people around, she acted like I wasn't there. She tried to keep it subtle and quiet just like how we kept our break-up.
The reason why we stopped being together was because I proposed to Dani. She said yes and finally wanted to introduce me to her family. She asked me to keep the news from Iris until she was sure of her family.
Of course, that's where it went downhill. Dani's family immediately started pointing out how incompatible we look and live.
They burst out laughing saying things like how can a handsome, rich and well-mannered man be interested in marrying Danielle! I tried to keep my cool because I really wanted that but I lost it when one said I must be taking pity in ugly, brow-less, skinny Dani! What's worse is they even tried to convince me of considering one of her sisters instead.
At first Dani kept telling me they were just poking fun, but they started offending her until it resulted in me insulting them for her. That's when Dani quietly took my hand and asked me to take her back to her hostel.
That was the quietest, longest drive, way worse than Bliss sleeping in my car. I dropped Dani off and she gave me the ring back then outright asked me to go find someone pretty.
I went over to her many times on daily basis but she managed to always stay away until that was the case with us. I'd show up and she'd disappear, she stopped looking at me, stopped talking to me and worst of all, stopped being my resort.
When we were together, her hair got damaged to the point the salon refused to dye it for her and she cried to me. I asked her what I could do to help, at first it was enough being there for her but Dani is something else.
She asked if she could please shave my head every time she couldn't dye it and I said okay. With time, it just turned to a solidarity promise… I shaved my head every time she changed her hair's color. She left me but I still did it.
Sometimes you get struck by a love that is so genuine and deep that you just can't shake it off. I asked Bliss to help me around and ask Danielle to do some activities with us but she ditched every time I was there.
I do wish I could stop wanting to reach out but I have a soft spot for her. Until this very day I shave my head and leave Dani a bunch of bananas at her hostel room with a note saying 'be okay' every time she looked like she needed a sort of comfort.
Maybe I should start growing my hair or finally leave town as planned. Bliss's dad told me I should only leave if there's nothing to return to.