People think it is nice to be born into a rich family. Life is comfortable and complete. None of these happened in my case, I agree I got whatever I want in seconds but the love and care and family bonding not at all. My parents were so drowned in their business and the only thing that mattered to them was money, money, and money. They hardly had a conversation with me or my sibling. If they spend today only in earning money when are they going to live their life? If not today then there is never a tomorrow.
The worst part of my life is the partiality they show between me and my twin brother, Jones Mathew. The only statement I hear is 'Steve learn from Jones'. It is too frustrating to get compared to your sibling all the time. It isn't my fault if he is so indulged in studies and me having interests in other things. Our marks were always compared which gradually lead to me hearing a one-hour straight lecture about how careless I am about my studies and how much I should learn to be like Jones. But when I come home winning some prizes from different cultural activities it was never even appreciated by them, because according to them education is only important other activities are useless. When I wanted to do or learn something new I got direct rejection each time from them but if it was Jones asking them there was never a rejection.
The only feeling I felt in my house was that I am just an unwanted kid to them. There was this situation that made me feel so. We were in high school when I developed a crush on Catherine, my childhood friend. We grew up together and she was an elegant-looking girl.
One fine day, my dad came to my room when I was writing a love letter to Catherine. I don't even know after how long has he stepped into this room.
"Steve", my dad called out my name sternly. I was hurt no matter how many times this happens I am still not used to it. Isn't it common for a young lad to expect his dad to speak to him out of love?
"Yes dad", I replied calmly
"Do you like Catherine?"
"How do you know?"
"From the way you look at her"
"Okay"
"I want you to back off"
"But why?"
"Because just yesterday Jones told me that he is going to propose to Catherine this weekend"
"Seriously dad, you want me to back off just for the reason because Jones likes her"
"Yup"
"Dad, do you realize that even I am your son? Why does everything in this house revolve only around his happiness and why should I give up even before trying for the sole reason that he will be happy?", I questioned my dad and received a tight slap right across my face as an answer.
"He is the one who will bring glory to our family while you are nothing but a useless person"
"What makes you think I'm useless?"
"Your studies, look at your marks Steve, you are just an average student while he is a topper"
"Dad I can act, dance, sing, etc. Can he do all those?"
"Those are just a waste of time. Mark my words they won't fetch you anything"
"Dad.."
"Just shut up and put a full stop to your feelings towards Catherine", he said and walked out of my room slamming my door shut.
So did it happen, I was forced to suppress my feelings. Jones proposed to her, and she accepted and they are a happy couple now. My life could never be better than this. It was nothing but just a dark grey cloud.
Unknowingly hatred for Jones was planted in my heart and as years passed I watered it with tears and gave sunshine with my anger, and very soon it was grown into a huge tree. Maybe if he wasn't there in my life I would have got all the love and care and need not have to live life with loneliness, inferiority, insecurities, or with the feeling of unwantedness.
Soon we were busy selecting which college to enroll in. Jones was happily given allowance to study medicine in India and I was forced to do Business Administration in Sydney while I wanted to study Visual Communication. At that time I even realized my sexuality. I was bisexual, at first I was scared but soon I was fine with it.
Years passed, and I was studying Business Administration with sincerity, enjoying my life by myself, and even faced a lot of breakups from girls as well as boys though I was the one dumped and heartbroken every time. The only thing that remains unchanged is the bonding between me and my family. One fine day Jones came back home. We thought he was on a vacation but no he was expelled and he had completely jeopardized his medical career, by pulling up a great fight in a public place. And was it an issue for my parents, no it wasn't even a big deal to them, they were hardly angry with him for a couple of days. He worked with my parents for a few weeks and then flew back to India after his engagement saying that Catherine had knocked some sense into him and he needs to apologize to Krish and Megha. And everyone sent him off happily.
After a few months even we flew to India to plan his wedding. My parents wanted to give him a surprise so none of us even gave him a hint that we would be there but we ended up being the ones getting surprised. A cute toddler came running out of his room followed by Megha whose hair was wrapped with a towel, she looked like she has just had a shower. I knew he was here to apologize to her but who knew they would have started living together? Then a verbal duel started and it concluded with a result that Jones chose that his family consists of Megha, his sister, and Sahana Mathew, his daughter.
That day ended up on a bad note for everyone. We returned to Sydney on the next flight and I was asked to keep Catherine's company because she is hurt. Then my days were completely spent with her. One fine day we returned home, happily chatting about the trip we had been on last week. Her family was invited to our house for a lunch party. As I entered my parents borrowed my phone for making a call but they ended up browsing my gallery and found out that I also like men. I was dragged harshly to my room.
"Do you like boys?", my dad asked holding my collar and pinning me to the wall of my bedroom as we entered in.
"Yes dad", I replied strongly and his hands which were holding my collar moved to my neck and squeezed it. I struggled to breathe and my mom pulled my dad back. I was breathing irregularly and coughing with a strong burning sensation and pain in my neck but the more painful thing was the words from my mom.
"We need not have to commit a sin by killing a worthless human like him", she said. Have these both ever considered me as their son?
"You bring only shame to my family", my dad growled. I had no more energy to listen to the words from their mouth.
"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN LIKING THE SAME GENDER", I shouted.
"You are getting married to Catherine", my dad said and both of them walked out. I fell to the ground crying my heart out. After a few minutes, I washed my face and walked to the dining room wearing a fake smile because I didn't want to ruin the so called reputation of my family.
The whole time while eating lunch I felt like I was sitting on a burning chair with throns implanted in it because they were discussing my marriage. I agree I used to like Catherine before and it was mere infatuation, now I have no such feelings for her.
The next Sunday, Catherine and I were standing in the center of a party hall with both of our family members surrounding us. I was getting engaged to her today. Maybe this was the way to make them happy. Maybe this might make them love me. Maybe this was the end of all my dark feelings because ever since my marriage with her was fixed I found them talking to me sweetly. I was ready to do anything to make them love me even if it means sacrificing everything for them.
The venue ended on a happy note for everyone but not at all for me. Our marriage will be held when she completes her education, which means I had 2 or 3 years before my marriage. I spoke to my parents and took approval to go anywhere and return to Sydney before the wedding date. I ran out of the place crying, happy because I was let free at least for a good amount of time and sad because I knew the bitter truth that after this trip, I will be forced to live a life with a girl for whom I have no feelings at all, which will be nothing but hell for me.
Soon, I was in Bangalore, sitting on the ledge on the rooftop of a hospital. I had two options now, either to live this hell on earth or end my life right here. I thought the second option was far better. I stood up and took steps forward. I was now standing on the edge of the ledge which was seventeen floors above the ground level. I knew the moment I jump there is no chance I'm will be saved. I was above to jump when someone held my elbow and pulled me back. As a result, we both fell on the floor of the rooftop with me on that person. I stood up from then and saw a handsome man with a dusky skin tone wearing green scrubs in front of me. His sharp features made him look more attractive.
"What the hell were you trying to do?", he growled. His manly voice was producing butterflies in my stomach.
"Ending my life", I said nonchalantly
"And do you think flying from a hospital building is a good idea?"
"This was the tallest building I could find in the surrounding"
"I want an honest answer from you. Why on earth were trying to end your life?", he questioned me.
"What makes you think that I will tell a random passerby my personal problems?", I replied to his question with another question. He pulled my hands and shook them with his and also gave me quick hug.
"I am Dr. Akhil and now we both are friends so you can tell me", he said. For some reason, I found this man very comforting. The next thing I knew was that I had narrated him everything and tears were uncontrollably flowing down my eyes. He wiped my tears and I hugged him. He now knows that I even like men so I expected him to push me away but he pulled me closer and let me cry in his hold.
"Where do you stay?", he asked
"Sydney", I replied and he laughed
"Where so you stay, in Bangalore?"
"I should still rent a house. Do you have any suggestions?"
"Yes, come live with me"
"No, I don't want to be a burden"
"You won't be a burden. Only I and my twin stay in that house and both of us earn enough to provide for you"
"Why are you doing this for me?"
"Because now you are my friend", he said with a smile. That smile was injurious to my heart.