"I will reward you and grant you whatever you desire if the Earl recovers; how about that?"
"Really?"
"Really."
"Thank you, Dana."
"Anything for my Iris. Do you have something in mind? I can sense that you do."
"Uhm… just a question. Is it true that I would be wearing a purple gown on my wedding day? How purple is purple?"
Father's composure wavers, and I can see his shocked expression for a split second. "Who told you that?"
"You are still young for you to worry about that. Not even our eldest brother has been engaged yet," Brother Azraq comments.
"Then who's the person that the Agreveda Princess is engaged to?" I ask. I remember that on my first birthday, Agreveda's Crown Prince shouted that his daughter is betrothed to one of my brothers. If it's not Brother Lothario, then…
The older prince coughs, while the younger prince averts his gaze. "It is late," Brother Lothario announces, not answering my question. "You should return home; a child needs a good night's sleep to grow well."
I pout but don't complain as Brother Azraq takes my hand. I bid Father good night and the three of us exit the room, leaving him to read the documents on his desk as the bright moon shines over the big window glass.
"How purple is the purple gown, Brother?" I ask as we walk down the hallway. "Is it purple-majestic or purple-take-my-eyes-out-it's-hideous purple?"
"It's purple-with-thousands-of-years-history kind of purple."
I look up at Brother Azraq. The moonlight casts a shadow on his long lashes and his high nose bridge. He has full, plump lips that appear to be tinted with cherry. "So… faded ugly?"
"Why are you talking about your marriage at such a young age? You haven't even had your Second Evaluation. You're too young to talk about marriage."
"I'm not talking about marriage. I don't care about that yet. I am still a child. What I'm concerned about is the purple gown. Am I really required to wear a purple gown? Can I not wear that? I always imagined myself walking down the aisle in the white gown Song Bora wore to her wedding in Reply 1988."
"White? Who wears white in their wedding? White is for children and for those in mourning."
"God, that gown! It was lovely even without the skin showing, and the fit was perfect. I have a lot of insecurities so that gown is perfect for me. My arms are hidden, my stomach is hidden, and my boobs are hidden — the gown is elegant, I tell you."
"Song Bora? Who is that? A friend?"
"Song Bora. You don't know who Song Bora is, Brother Lothario? You should watch the series, it's goo—"
Shit.
I covered my mouth with both hands as soon as I realized what I had done, unclasping my left hand from Brother Azraq's. I became overly excited and began blabbering on about my favorite series and my past to these two. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? It's just nice that my favorite series is mentioned that I forgot for a moment that I'm not who I used to be and that I'm now a different person living in another world.
As we come to a halt, the two of them turn to face me, waiting for me to respond. I don't know how to respond though. What should I say? What should I do?
"Mariana," I say in my head, hoping Mariana can hear and respond to my thoughts. "Help."
"Just say it's the name of one of your dolls, and then make up a story about it." I hear Mariana's voice as if she's just in front of me. But I know that that's not the case.
I smile, relieved that she can hear me, but then I realize something. "Have you been listening in on me the entire time? Have you been… Do you know what's been going on with me for the past four years?" I ask in my head, but this time I don't get a response. "Mariana!"
"I suppose our sister has a lot of friends," Brother Lothario says, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Huh?"
"Nothing, don't mind our brother. Let's go," Brother Azraq says as he takes my hand again and leads me out of Father's palace, where our carriages are waiting.
"Muda Lothario. Muda Azraq. Saridayang Iris." Ash greets me as soon as he sees me. Captain Osa, the head of the knights assigned to me, and the others who were waiting for us also greeted us, but we did not return the greeting.
I dash towards Ash, who bends down his knees a little to hug me. "Have you eaten? Did you wait long? I was with Father in his study so I'm late. Sorry 'bout that."
"I have eaten already," he replies. "You must be tired."
"Mhm!" I nod my head. I intertwine my fingers on his and drag him towards my carriage. "It's nice. I feel like I'm back in the office, you know."
"That's nice to hear."
"Of course! I dominated that meeting." I stop walking and look at him to boast. "But I wasn't able to talk about what you told me to tell him. Apparently, the gown that I'll be wearing at my wedding is a thousand-year-old. Wouldn't that be in tatters already? Or is that preserved by magic? Is there a magic preservation in this world, though?"
He doesn't say anything, just laughs and pats my head.
"So you are the one who feeds our little sister with such thoughts."
Oops. I forgot that we're still outside and that my brothers are still here.
"Don't be hard on Ash, Brother Lothario. It's only because I threw a tantrum earlier. The dress they were trying to put me into is yuck! People here have no fashion sense at all."
Brother Lothario doesn't answer as he bears his green eyes at Ash. After a while, he walks past us and into my carriage, followed by Brother Azraq. Ash and I exchange glances, and I shrug. He gives a small smile and follows them inside, still clutching my hands. I know he doesn't like the idea of riding the carriage with my brothers. I too don't like it. But none of us complained verbally. Ash sits me down across from my brothers before taking a seat next to me near the carriage door.
"I had no idea that the two of you are close," Brother Azraq says as soon as the carriage starts moving.
"I've been with the princess since she was one, so I guess we grew closer as time went on," Ash says, his gaze fixed straight ahead on the padded interior of the carriage but not on any of my brothers.
After a few minutes, I begin to nod off. Ash notices this and scoots over to make room for me. He then places my feet on the seat and guides my head to his lap. I reach for his hand and place it on the top of my head, silently telling him to gently stroke my hair, which he does. I rub my eyes and try to sleep, but the ride isn't comfortable, so I sit up and climb into Ash's embrace, leaning my head against his neck crevice. He wraps his arms around me and begins stroking my back while humming me a lullaby. I yawn and place my hands behind his neck.
"Indeed. So close," my eldest brother says in gritted teeth.