I am currently at Magayon Palace, and today marks the second day of my etiquette lessons. Yesterday was my least favorite day so far in my four years here. She went on and on about the country's history and some of Amari's most notable figures. And since our country is a pureblood, you can imagine how long her boring lectures went. My buttocks hurt despite the fact that I was only sitting there while she stood perfectly still and lectured me on the Kingdom's rich history. The lessons cover every King and Queen, as well as their descendants; even those who did not inherit the throne are covered. Everything, and I mean everything, she told me. We started early in the morning and didn't finish until late at night.
But I get to say, it fascinates me by how the Queen knows everything about everything. What a queen, indeed.
She snaps her fan close and tells me to redo my curtsy. It takes everything in me not to scream at her and slap her fan to her face. As if I'll reach her face, pff!
I lift the sides of my dress skirt and put my right foot back. I bend my knees and bow to the Queen, making sure not to trip or lose my balance. "Saridayang Iris Cylian Maoridom y Lazuli greets the Light of the Kingdom, Vhar El Haluman Hara Licentia Andromeda Magnus y Galatea von Lazuli. May the benison of Kismet be with you," I say with my head bowed. [1]
She hums but does not acknowledge me, so I am forced to remain in that position. She rests her fan on my chin and raises my head with it. "Transfer your weight to your left foot after placing the ball of your right foot behind, slightly outside the left ankle. Slowly bend your front knee while maintaining eye contact. Princesses don't bow their heads down to anyone except the King, the Queen, and the Crown Prince. Other than that, a princess does not turn her face to the ground."
"I understand, Hara."
"Vhar Haluman," she corrected.
"I understand, Vhar Haluman."
"Now, do it again."
And I did.
"Good. Throughout our lessons, you shall address me as such. You must begin familiarizing yourself with how to act on formal occasions. Now, you must remember that all women in the Royal Family must curtsy upon the first time seeing the Queen on any given day."
"There are two basic curtsies a woman should know." She looks at one of her Ladies-in-waiting and that person comes forward. The Lady-in-waiting does an entirely different curtsy. "Follow," the Queen tells me.
The Lady-in-waiting curtsies once more, and I imitate her. I place my right foot behind my left and bend my knees outward, keeping my back straight. I lower myself until my right knee is about an inch from the ground. After assuming position, I looked straight ahead, my head tilted upwards. I stayed in that position for about three seconds before slowly raising myself back to an upright position as gracefully as I could.
"Do not exaggerate your movements, but do not be stiff either. Move minimally yet gracefully. Be regal. Pull the sides of your dress out slightly and give yourself enough room so as to not stumble. Good."
"I will keep that in mind, Vhar Haluman."
"Every time you see me for the first time on any given day, you must do this type of curtsy. During other times, you must lower your head and hold your skirt up, extend your right foot behind the left and bend your knees slightly outward and as you do, shift your weight onto your front foot. All of this should be done while maintaining eye contact. Wait until you've been given permission to move. Return to an upright position slowly and gracefully, lowering your hands to your sides and raising your head."
I perform each step as she instructs me. Although I am sloppy, she is content for the time being, telling me that I have plenty of time to perfect the court curtsy. She then teaches me another type of curtsy.
"Place one foot behind the other and only slightly bend your knees before quickly rising. When you curtsy someone other than the three people I mentioned earlier, you do this. Their acknowledgement is not needed. You will bow like that to your birth mother, Consort Luna, if and only if the King or Queen is present. If neither of us is present, she will instead bow to you as the blood daughter of the Crown."
I nod at her. She dismisses the Lady-in-waiting who goes back to her old position behind the food rack.
"Everything may appear difficult at first, but after a hundred repetitions, you will become familiar with it and it will no longer be a hassle."
I nod again, waiting for her next instruction, but I didn't realize she had already given it to me.
"Now, now. Start with the court curtsy."
I immediately did one before returning my gaze to her, waiting for another instruction.
"I said a hundred. You will do more curtsying throughout your entire life, might as well make mistakes behind closed doors rather than making a fool out of yourself out in the public eye."
I'm about to retort when I notice her eyes squint at me so I slump back in defeat, ready to do a hundred curtsies, but quickly stand up straight after seeing them glint.
By the end of the day, I'm exhausted and my legs are shaky. I can't take a single step without collapsing, so the Queen has no choice but to announce that our lessons will be halted for the time being to allow me to recover. Two of her attendants escort me to my residence and hand Nanny something that is supposed to help my muscles relax.
"I'm only supposed to learn etiquette, but she talked about stuff that doesn't even make sense. Fuck being a royal, there's so many rules! Did you know that fans have a language? I swear I felt my ears tick and my veins go pop!" I tattle on the Queen to my brothers as soon as I see them in my garden the next morning.
Brother Lothario and Brother Azraq laugh, showing sympathy for me, fully understanding my situation as they also went through lessons with the queen. Jenna on the other hand only giggled silently. She gives me freshly peeled and cut apples. Just like the last time, we are sitting on the grass under the gigantic tree in the open field of my residence. The four of us are the only people having a picnic today because Ash still hasn't come back from I don't know where, and none of my brothers would answer me Ash's whereabouts.
"Did you know what happened before she finally let me out of her sight? She slowly fanned herself, and I didn't know what that meant, so I just stood there looking like an idiot. And then she twirled the fan on her left hand. But I still didn't know what she's trying to say, how would I know? She wasn't even speaking, for all I know she's just bored."
"It means to get out of one's face," Brother Azraq tells me.
"Now I know. Because she told me that— why not just tell me that in the first place? Why do things with the fan? She isn't deaf, she has a mouth!"
"Saridayang," Jenna is quick to remind me of my words.
"Fine. Sorry. So, anyway, when she told me that, I quickly scrammed. I ran towards the door but I suddenly remembered that that's wrong in so many levels, so I looked at her and she's seething mad, but still all regal, I don't know how that makes sense, but it does. Do you get what I mean? You get what I mean, you've been taught by her. She's your mother, you've probably seen that face a hundred times— hah!" I gasp. "A hundred times. A hundred times, she told me to curtsy at her a hundred times; there are a lot of curtsies, I repeated them a bajillion times," I say without a stop. I stand up and exaggeratingly mimic how the Queen instructed me how to properly do a curtsy. I even did a ballet curtsy — which I found out that doesn't exist in this world.
"That's a cute curtsy, Saridayang," Jenna praises. She is now at ease after spending so much time with my brothers; she no longer fidgets or breaks out in a cold sweat whenever one of them comes to visit. Especially with my first brother, who has been visiting my house at least once every three days since the day he took a fancy to Jenna.
"You don't have ballet? That's like the combo with all classic Barbie and Disney Princesses stories—" I manage to stop myself from saying anything else before I accidentally reveal to them that I have memories of my previous life. "I-I mean… where I came from ballet is like… a thing?"
"'Where you came from?'" Brother Azraq asks, his brows furrowed in curiosity.
Shit. Did I just say that?
"Mariana, help." I call Mariana for assistance once more, but it turns out that I don't require her to create an alibi for me.
"Oh, Danamuda, don't take anything Saridayang says seriously. Every time she invents some words or things she would always say that those came from 'where she came from.' Where she came from —" She points at the window of my playroom in the distance, "She's still a child and likes to imagine things, so please do not take whatever she says literally."
My brothers nod their head in understanding and I go along with it. From now on, that's my alibi. Thanks, Jenna.
"So tell me about this ballet," Brother Lothario says.
"Well, it's like this, see—" I attempted to do an arabesque and point my foot upward, but Jenna gasped and some of the utensils clattered as my brothers leapt from where they were. I shriek and jump as a result of their sudden movements, causing me to fall and slump my butt to the ground.
"Astahi, Saridayang!"
"Where did you learn that? Did that brat teach you that?" Brother Azraq asks angrily as he quickly places his hand on my foot.
"W-what? Why? What's wrong?"
"Why would you put your foot up like that? That's absurd, so unlady-like," Brother Lothario scolds me.
"B-but Brother ballet is elegant—"
"I don't see elegance in what you did. Put a stop to that right now," Brother Azraq says.
"I forbid you from doing ballet," Brother Lothario goes on to say, and Jenna nods in agreement.
—
[1] Author's Note: The term Light of the Kingdom is derives from the term "ilaw ng tahanan" that Filipinos usually refer to the mother's role in a household because, according to customs, mothers are usually the ones who guide and give light to all the members of the family.