"F*ck Bruce, I helped you so that you could f*cking start early and get done with her on time too, how the f*ck did you end up having sex till 2am in the morning huh?" Barb was back to her usual way of talking and using the F word.
"How the f*ck do you have sex from 8:23 in the evening to 2:14 in the morning Bruce? How the f*ck do you do that?" she scolded me like she was my maths teacher. If my maths teacher was Tiffany Haddish with an accent.
"You were keeping time?."
"Is that all you have to say Bruce? F*ck! What about the Devil's box huh? Aren't you going to get it again?"
"Well it's not my fault, I mean_ I guess it's been so long since I last did some nice tango, so I just lost track of time. I mean you won't understand, She's just so sweet. It's a pity I'll have to end her now. I'd have love to do it some more." really, it's such a waste of fine specimen, well to my big monster that is, but to my mind that is aching to see her insides, I just can't wait to cut her up.
" Don't worry Barb, there's still time to steal the IGBE SHAIDAN. I'll just finish up with her real quick, and then we can go treasure hunting. Okay?"
"Fine, just be f*cking real quick so we can go at once. I just can't wait to see what the insides of the Box looks like. They're still trying to read the writings on it, if only the camera angles where perfect, I'd have done it already."
"Sure, I trust that you would... Open The Door." I say, and when I say the door, she already knew which door I was talking about.
"Opened" she says, and the wall in front of me slides open, if I didn't tell you, there was no way you'd know it existed, it was just a simple wall with a picture on it. "Hey, don't waste time looking for the kind of weapon to use. Just Slash her insides out with a Viking axe and end this as quick as possible."
"Yes ma'am, but I think Viking axe is a no-no. I mean that's what I used on that cheating woman, I can't use the same for my precious Nelo." I say from inside my most treasured weapon room.
"I guess you're f*cking right for once. I just hope this one would be more interesting to watch. I don't think anything can beat the look on that bitch's face though. Cracks me up every time." She laughs.
"Barb, how about I go all ninja on her. With my Katana and nunchucks." I asked, but then my eyes caught something different. "OOoo... I could go Mortal Kombat on her too, a little scorpion's chain, and Mileena's Sai. Fascinating combination. heeheehee"
"Uhh... Bruce."
"Or should I go with the Sabre... En garde woman." I point the Sabre to the wall.
"Bruuuce."
"Or better still this halberd... No... It's too long."
"Ohh Bruce."
"How about I whoop her to death with this quarterstaff. That will be fun." oh the smile on my face was indescribable.
"Or, how about, I first rip out your insides with my bare hands, then slowly feast on your flesh, and then rip off your head and make a soup bowl out of your skull." That cold_cold Shivers ran down my spine as I heard her voice from behind me.
Slowly I turned around, still magnificently naked she stood just a few steps away from the door of the room I stood in. The green in her eyes glittering like the the sun shining on a drop of water on a green leaf.
"HI." I smiled, foolishly putting my chosen weapon behind me. "Barb" I muttered between closed teeth. "why didn't you tell me that she was awake?"
"Well don't f*cking blame me. I f*cking called you like a million times, but you were busy talking to yourself that you didn't even hear me." And now that she said it, I subconsciously think I remember her calling my name.
"Nice to meet the real you Barb." She says.
"Nice to meet you too. And now that we're all gathered here, I must tell you, I like what you did with that demented f*cker Richards. Nice job."
"OH you know it was me?"
"of course, I was the one who f*cking controlled the wankers car, and played that song." what's this... This weird situation right now?
"Really? That song was on point. Like it fit the moment so well. Barb you are a genius." Should I be offended that Barb is taking all the credit, or should I be worried that they both seem to be getting along somehow.
"Uhh! Finally someone who f*cking understands my worth." I felt like that was directed to me for some reason. But I don't get why she would say that, because I always compliment her too...
And why the hell are they bonding!!!
"OH, I also wanted to know how he freaked out when I took over the car, the f*cking loser didn't have anything close to a camera in his car, so I could not see shit."
"Oh it was hilarious. You really should have seen him panicking like he was about to die. Well he was about to die, but he didn't know that then, so it made it more fun. And you should have heard him scream as I ripped his flesh and bones apart. It was so much fun."
She was really getting along with Barb. Almost like she was talking to someone who she could see. But if they both keep this up, we might never get to see what her insides looks like so...
" I'm sorry to break your girl bonding moment here, but it's time for you to go to sleep... For ever."
"oh Bruce., Bruce., Bruce. You really think you can kill me. With that? A quarterstaff" she points at the quarterstaff that I didn't know was sticking out of my back. But what she didn't know was I also had these.
And whoosh! With a flick of my arm, I swung three finely sharpened ninja stars at her, sending it straight to her face, almost instantly running forward with my quarterstaff raised high up, ready to strike her but then just when the stars were this close to her face...
*SWOOSH!* VROOM* WHOOSH* was how fast and eloquent she moved, in all my thirty years on earth, I've never seen anything move as fast. Dodging all three ninja stars with grace and perfect poise, almost like a shadow moving with the wind, then...
*HOLD* she grabs onto the quarterstaff as I brought it down on her head holding onto one end while I held the other, some kind of wind came from nowhere, blowing her hair like those over dramatic princesses in cartoons.
So close to her I stood, and I could see the gold inside her green eyes burned bright like a thousand meteor burning into earth. The smirk on her lips was fierce and confident.
"Me first." She says, and with close to no stress and just a slight flick of her arm, with my hands still holding the staff, I was tossed hard to the side, sending me ground-sliding, back into the room I just came out from, my back smashing into the weapon shelf...
"OH Mama!" I say amidst choking pains. She's feisty and strong. I like it.