Lost in the massive maze of my own dreams, my inner consciousness was attacked. I found myself in an unfamiliar place, a dark fog enveloping me. My surroundings were pitch black to the point whether or not having my eyes being closed or not was a worry. Even while being able to see nothing, the fog allowed me to slightly see the small dusty clouds grazing me as they passed by.
Not knowing where to go or where I am, I stood still. A disembodied gargled voice began whispering in my ear, "Let's play a game."
My body flinched instinctively, and not knowing what to do I decided to comply. I nodded.
"Good… How about… H. I. D. E AND S. E. E. K!!!"
The voice pierced my ears with a loud shriek instantly activating my flight or fight. I ran through the seemingly nothingness of the void as far as I could. Anything to get me away. The voice's existence seemed to linger in my mind long after running, frightening me and causing me to tense. At this point, I couldn't tell if this was still a dream or not but nothing stopped my legs. It's all your fault… All your fault… Everything… IS. YOUR. FAULT.
After running for a while, I began coughing blood and at that moment I collapsed onto the ground. Not only my lungs but my entire body could explode at any moment, I thought to myself. With no other options and to the best of my ability, I crawled as fast as I could until that same imposing aura got closer and closer…
Your fault.. All your fault… why are you even here? Y ou don't dese rve to h ave t he lux ury Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
I think you should pay. Yes he should pay. Paying would be goood. pay . pay. pay pay pay pay
ooh oooohhh,, here you are!
I F OUN D YO U!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
!!!
"AHH-!" I jumped from my bed, slamming my head against the bottom of the top bed.
Since I'd already yelled I tried holding back my grunts for later so as to not wake up my siblings. After getting up from the bed, I realized just how sweaty I'd been.
"5:53 a.m… I wanna go back to bed but I promised her."
It was about time to wake up my little sister.
Maybe the fatigue was getting to me but my mind seemed to wander for a while in the kitchen, and…
I couldn't stop thinking about what I did and how, if possible, I could change that. My life was frozen, nearing a breakthrough that I needed for a long time. But I could never reach it; no one could. For the longest time, it was unattainable, out of my or anyone else's reach.
"Hey-!"
But then again, what did I do? Am I missing something? Was it lost long ago?
"He-!"
LOOK BEHIND YOU
Is it my purpose to atone or receive? These past couple of days, my mind was scattered, seemingly lost in the passage of time, and forced to do nothing but wander. My body sometimes nearly collapses from exhaustion, but how? It's especially apparent recently that even my siblings are beginning to notice something about me, often asking me, "Are you okay?" In a worried manner, even my adoptive father began worrying. I've been brushing it off with-
"Hey, Comet! Are you okay?" A familiar voice called out.
"I'm fine, my bad," I responded, remembering I was near a stove.
"Are you sure? You've been spacing out way too much recently."
"I've just been tired; I've been studying too much these past few weeks."
This was my younger sister, Katie, and I was up early in the morning with her to teach her how to cook. Somehow, even while near a fire, my mind completely derailed. Katie glared at me worriedly, "Alright, for now, what heat level should the stove be?"
I'll always be watching. You'll never get rid of me. Never.. Never.. NEVER…
"Just put it on high for the water to boil."
Katie complied, pouring water into the pot and setting it high. She loves pasta, so I learned how to make it just to teach her. We added the salt and spaghetti, cooked it, and added the sauce after. It was just a basic recipe, but it was nice being able to teach. It almost made me forget about the dream.
I HATE YOU… hate… hate… hate…
When I said my exhaustion was from too much studying, I was lying to her. I didn't want to, but explaining it would be complicated for Katie. About two weeks ago, I had a dream I couldn't explain or remember anything about. What struck me the most was the empty feeling that flooded my body when I woke up. It didn't happen just once; it kept occurring repeatedly, and every time I fell asleep, it would appear in my mind.
My whole life, I've had these dreams that were hard to explain; some were horrifying, and others were not. They were all so foggy like something was keeping me from seeing anything. Yet, I could feel every emotion, physical pain, and mental anguish that found their way into my dreams. My parents chalked them up to nightmares, and they usually were, which is what I'd like to think, but I couldn't help but feel that there was something more. It both terrifies me and intrigues me, yet at the same time, I feel empty. It's as if something was missing, taken from me.
"G'mornin'... *yawn*" A sleepy Kaleb approached the table.
I'm always watching
Katie and I had just finished eating and left a large serving for Kaleb. He was too sleepy to recognize what was in front of him, so he sat down. It didn't take much time, though. Once the aroma entered his nostrils, it was like a bolt of energy powered Kaleb.
"Good morning, Kaleb!" Katie greeted him, pouring him juice.
"Woah! Why's there spaghetti in my face all'ava sudden!?" Kaleb's mouth drooled.
"Comet helped me make spaghetti!"
It took no more than mere seconds before Kaleb started scarfing down his plate. It was rare for Kaleb to eat a hefty serving of anything, but that went for the three of us. I managed to splurge a little after getting paid and buying many ingredients. Still, we weren't rich in the slightest, and we were poorer than anything, but we got by in the projects.
No escape
My adoptive father helped us even reach this point, but due to complicated situations, he isn't as present as much; it's not like he's not there at all, though.
"Woah! If's fo' goosh'!!" Kaleb exclaimed, still destroying his plate.
"C'mon, Kaleb, chew!" I scolded him playfully.
Seeing them like this makes everything just right. I wish they could meet Mom and Dad, but the past is the past.
Katie made eye contact with me and blurted, "You're smiling, Comet…" Wearing a bright smile, she alerted Kaleb, "Look, Kaleb!" He stopped and also stared at me, "...WHAT!?"
I sighed, not knowing why they were making such a big deal out of it. It's not like I wasn't expressive. Anyway, it was time for me to get ready and head out.
Little moments like these helped me to work harder, and I'm not sure what would become of me without my siblings. Still, my thoughts and dreams ran circles around my head. But there's another aspect to these dreams and nightmares, especially when I'm alone, something is… watching me. This isn't all new, but recently, the feeling's gotten so intense that my body freezes, and my hairs stand on end. Whenever I turned my back, whatever appeared vanished just as fast.
Whatever it is, whatever I'm missing, I have to be careful.
I'll return… Someday.
I'll make sure that day never comes.