"I have alot to share, My stories are incredible. " she said
Sarah knew, her stories would be remarkable, so as she grew, she learned, she took notes, she became more experienced. Life is about learning from your mistakes, So after all the disrespect she faced. Him telling her he's going to cheat on her, him lying on her, him constantly accusing her, him asking another woman for a massage while on the phone with her, him talking down to her. All that, broke her heart, rambled on her emotions and drained her mentally, she would cry and not be sure why she's crying, she was stressed and depressed . All he could do is complain that she won't call him or take his calls and she have male friends but you had absolutely no concern about what you were doing to her. How does that even work? how can you not see you're hurting the one you claim to love? How can you not understand when she ecpress her pain to you? Just how? it made absolutely no sense.
Then her final straw came. The feather that broke the camels back. He accused her of the craziest thing ever, he got mad because she was hanging out with her female friend wearing just a blouse and underwear, this is where he degraded her the most, when he accused her of leave home like that. What woman who respects her self would leave home in underwear and a blouse. She felt small, cheap, low, to hear a man that claims to love her say such nonsense about her, all because he thought the girl's boyfriend was there. When Infact he wasn't. Not long after he disrespected her again calling her a liar, she realized in that moment she was way more than tired now. She wanted to be done. She wanted out before she lost herself trying to find love. She didn't want to leave another relationship broken, but he got so mad after thinking she was with a man because he called her and did get her phone, he blocked her so she blocked him. Maybe it is for the best, maybe they bother deserve to go their separate way. She was ready to find her self .
"For so long I've been searching for real love, I finally found my real love, that real love is me, because people will provoke you until they bring out the ugly in you, then play victim and thats all he did. "
He took from her until she had nothing more to give. She was drained, she loved him, but she had to love herself more. She wanted to make it work but she couldn't take anymore. She wanted love and happiness, but she never found it. All the effort she sacrificed her time love and care, all wasted. Who could blame her for feeling that way. She had her flaws yes, she too became verbally abusive but only because he made her that way. Only because he broke her over and over and didn't care how he was making her feel, only because he thought she was weak, and thin-skinned, only because he thought she was his property to do whatever with. He managed to break her to an extent but he didn't realize the power she had, the control she had over her own light, she just needed to be tired enough to realize she deserved better, and better is what she is going after now. She's not going to sit around any longer and be anyone's fool. No she's not. She will not hate, she will not be angry, she will not retaliate, she will elevate. Let that be her revenge on the man who knew her story and still did her dirty.
Life will reach so many lessons. How to love, how to be loved, how to hate, how not to hate, how to be honest, how not to be honest, how to be positive , how to be negative and the list goes on, we follow the path we want. we decide what we want . Alot of times we may regret it but why have regrets when it already happened. Just take that L and moved on. she was in love with a man that only existed in her head. The man she knew was all presence. Nathaniel couldn't pretend anymore. The moment he got her to agree to be his and vowed her loyalty, the real him came out. He was now everything she hoped he wasn't. A paranoid insecure jealous freak, literally. Nevertheless, maybe she fell inlove with the sex, the amazing sex now the best part of her story will be the sex.
"I wanted a relationship that would have me glowing, that would have me smiling from ear to ear. A relationship I could brag about, one I could say yes, this man brought out the best in me, instead he brought out the worse, took away my self driven spirit and then called me lackadaisical. When in fact I was just tired. Loyal to destruction. I wanted to say this man made me happy, made me achieve alot, contributed greatly to my elevation, this man is the man I prayed for, I pray for this man more than I pray for myself, I love and respect this man equivalent to myself... I wanted that power couple relationship thing. I got a man who drained me, stressed me until it started to me sick physically. There were days I had no appetite. I just laid there trying not to wish for death. It was nothing like I hoped it would be. But now, I will start a new journey, now I will start fresh, I will learn to love myself again, I will regain my confidence, build back my self esteem, value myself and ill be dammed if I let another man break me."
She spoke these words with strength as she prepared herself for the new phase of her life, where its just her, her dog and her business. No relationship for a while. She had absolutely no more time to waste. It was her time to shine. Her time to be the woman she was meant to be, with other without a man. She will succeed. She will be great.