I woke up the following morning and ran through my usual routine of wiping the sweat off my face and body. Of course, some days, the nightmares are worse than others, but they are all the same, just with varying degrees of anguish.
Sometimes they are only a glimpse of the past. Other times I'm forced to run through the entire memory from start to finish. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason for them either. Sometimes I dream about that Elunari child falling.
Other times it's my final moment with Cerila. Occasionally my nightmares even toss in events from my last moments with Deya and Remi. The only constant is that I wake up feeling more tired than I should.
My memories of my past life continue to grow hazier and hazier. It's odd, really. I can remember my childhood and my time with my family as if it was yesterday, but the faces of my squadmates are becoming harder and harder to remember.
Time works differently for Elves, so is this a byproduct? Humans weren't meant to live for centuries, so what does time feel like for those who do? Maybe I'll figure it out one day…
I sighed and gazed out into the small room that I spent the night in and felt a familiar feeling. It was a feeling I've felt once before, but back then, I wasn't quite sure why I felt that way. It was when I woke up in Grandpa's house after being sick, the feeling of being alone.
Now that I'm here, I truly am alone.
I pushed down the feelings into the bottom of my chest. I've gotten this far, and I don't plan on giving up. My life may feel like it's been on hold, but that doesn't mean I want it to stay that way. Besides, this is nothing new. You get used to these types of things after five years.
Rolling onto the floor, I began doing pushups. Doing so with one hand was difficult, but I wasn't about to stop my routine. Continuing to get stronger was a vital component of surviving. After all of these years, I have never skimped on my physical training.
I've had some bumps when I couldn't eat enough to sustain myself, but besides that, I have continued despite my injuries. My leg, chest, and ears may hurt, but the pain of not seeing my family continues to burn even fiercer.
I finished my morning routine of bodyweight exercises and got ready to head downstairs. Unfortunately, it was so early in the morning the sun had yet to rise, so it was still dark at the guild building. I strolled downstairs, and a guild employee was cleaning the downstairs area. A few people were lying on the ground, asleep. Some were cradling bottles of alcohol, and others were dead asleep.
I guess this place does get lively after dark.
I asked the employee when breakfast would be served, and she told me it wouldn't be for another few hours. That was fine since there were things I needed to attend to beforehand. Waking up this early has its perks.
I left the guild building with the goal of leaving the town. I wanted to head far enough to avoid prying eyes. I hadn't had this much freedom in a long time so there was something I needed to do. At my pace, it took me a reasonable amount of time to get where I needed to go, but within an hour, I had found a spot. The town was still asleep, but I doubt it would stay that way for very long, considering it was a farming town.
I found a spot in the fields far enough away that nobody would see or hear me. I didn't want guards rushing over to investigate the sounds of magic going off if I could help it.
I took a deep breath of the fresh morning air and twisted my body a few times. It's been a long time since I've had the time or freedom to experiment with magic openly.
Just like Grandpa said, my available mana has grown significantly as I grew older. So on top of my physical training, I've never skipped training my mana control either. But I haven't been able to cast many spells until recently.
I have also decided that as Voker, I would only be using my fire magic. I'm sure when the wanted posters start sprouting up, my earth magic will be a part of the description. But, of course, it's not like I'll limit myself just to fire if I need to defend myself.
Now then… I know that I can use fire and earth, so let's try the other two basic elements. It has been years, after all.
I tried both wind and water but to no avail. I couldn't even form a spell core for water or wind magic. But that's to be expected since I didn't have an affinity for either growing up. Perhaps you don't gain affinities as you get older.
Next, I wanted to try something I had a theory on. I read a few books at the academy and with Grandpa that theorized that being exposed to a school of magic repeatedly could possibly form an affinity within a person.
For me, I was hoping I would gain an affinity with light magic. Grandpa used to heal me constantly back at Owlkirk, and I have been healed with light magic a few times over the last few years, so I was hoping I have an affinity for it.
I focused deeply and ran my mana through my body, starting from my chest to my fingertips. I envisioned the spell I wanted and tried to form the spell core for a simple light spell that was meant to replace the light from a torch. I tried to feed the spell core mana, but just like water and wind, I couldn't form a spell core.
Unfortunate.
I had high hopes, but it seems I won't be a light mage any time soon or ever for that matter. Humans made up a large percentage of light mages for whatever reason. Elves like Anna are the rare few non-Humans capable of using light magic.
Next, I wanted to try something else. Magic affinities could apparently be passed down through bloodlines. So at least it was more likely that if a father were a fire mage, so would his offspring be one as well. Then again, there were no guarantees, just a higher percentage.
Outside of the basic elements, I only know that one of my parents could use another type of magic. I remembered my fleeting moments of consciousness when I nearly died from that Shadowling in the jungle. I remember Mom and how she had white lightning arcing around her body and twin daggers.
I never did ask her if she could use lightning magic or something similar, but I was sure that school of magic existed. And if Mom could use it, then there was a good chance I could as well.
I steadied my breathing and ran through the process of gathering my mana into a spell core. I wasn't familiar with any spells from the school of lightning, so I was sort of running in the dark, but I was confident I could manage.
All I wanted to do was arc a tiny bit of lightning between my fingers. That was my only goal with this spell. After a few seconds, I felt the familiar feeling of a spell core being formed and my mana leaving my fingers.
I opened my eyes and watched as my fully formed spell core came to life. Yellow lightning danced back and forth between my fingers until it eventually petered out. The spell didn't cause me pain or discomfort. I could tell that it took more mana to cast even that simple spell than, say, a Fireball, but it was my first time, so it was to be expected.
A warmth spread through my chest as I felt a tinge of joy. It's been a long time since I've done something new. I feel like I've just been falling further back into my old self. With lightning magic, I could do a lot of things…
A long time ago, I decided not to alter the course of this world with my knowledge. Introducing things like firearms could throw this entire world into chaos. And it's not like people are stupid, if I made a gun, people can and would figure it out. And that weapon will be used against me or those I care about.
Using magic, on the other hand…
Magic has a gap that most people can never cross. If I used lightning magic to say… accelerate something at super-fast speeds… for a person to be able to replicate that, they would first have to be a lightning mage and understand how I did it. Using something like that against me would be more of a challenge for the denizens of this world.
But I was going to have to experiment more with lightning magic. For some reason, it feels different than how I imagined it. I just need to understand it more, that's all.
I have some other things on the agenda today, however. First, I wanted to try experimenting with fire magic. And by experiment, I want to try and augment it further. Grandpa drilled the notion that understanding magic better would make you a more powerful mage.
That if you understood the processes of spells, you could push them even further. Well, I, for one, know how fire works. I probably have a deeper understanding of fire than anyone else on this entire planet.
I sat down on the ground and made a little bowl of earth using magic. I didn't want to burn down the wheat fields that I was using as cover if I could help it. And if something exploded then I wanted to at least use earth magic to cover it up quickly. I began by forming a spell core for a simple fire spell but I didn't want it to explode. All spell cores are constructed within a mage's reach.
And by reach, I literally mean how far I can physically reach out with my hands or feet. It's the same reason a mage can't form a spell core inside of a person and kill them instantly. It's also the same reason people can "sense" magic coming at them.
Since the spell core has to be fired from the mage, it gives people enough time to react. It's why I can't just summon an earth spike right underneath someone without them noticing. Unless I were at point-blank range, they wouldn't have time to react.
With my simple fire core ready, I went to work on altering it. I wanted to increase the Fireball's heat by multiple orders of magnitude. I wanted the spell not only to burn oxygen but other gasses if possible.
I wanted the fire to be unimaginably hot, and I was prepared to feed it enough mana to make it happen. After a few seconds, I released the spell core to see what would happen.
The red flame flickered to life from thin air. The flame began changing colors as the heat intensified, starting from a dark red, then it morphed into a dark orange color. From there, the heat picked up as the flame flickered into a light orange and then into yellow.
The flame inside my earthen bowl began dripping as the heat became more unbearable. The yellow fire became lighter in color until it eventually turned into a blazing white color. I covered the flame with soil, extinguishing the white flame.
I felt a wave of relief as I managed to do what I set out to accomplish. I increased the heat of my fire spell by leaps and bounds. If I used a Fireball spell instead, I imagine increasing the heat this much would cost about double the mana for a regular Fireball. But considering the increase in firepower if the situation called for it… it would be worth it.
This was a game-changer for me. If I could get my fire magic to be that hot, then I would be able to do some serious damage to things.
Now then. Time to try some advanced earth magic.
I wanted to try and increase the speed of my earth magic projectiles. So I stood up and wiped the dirt off my clothes, and prepared a simple rock blast. Instead of using multiple rocks, I just wanted to focus on making a singular projectile go fast for the time being.
I was afraid that making things go faster or allowing projectiles to fly through the air easier was more in line with the goal of wind magic, so I wasn't too sure if this would work.
I imagined what I wanted the rock to do, and I fed the core more of my mana until it was ready. The rock formed and blasted off at a much higher speed than usual but not as fast as I was hoping. Considering the mana cost for doing just a single rock, it might not be worth it…
But what if I changed the shape of the rock?
I set about forming another spell core, and this time I was going to alter the rock into a more familiar shape along with its speed. I released the spell core, and the rock-shaped bullet came into existence. I created the general appearance of a rifle round using earth magic. The earth bullet flew off into the fields at a much faster speed.
Not bad… but not great.
So far, my new Fireball would be better than doing this repeatedly. But there was one more thing… can I force the rock to spin?
I never tried this before, so I was somewhat worried it might backfire. My mana was doing alright, so I shouldn't be at risk for mana sickness. Casting this many altered spells just cemented how much my mana pool has grown over the last few years.
I repeated the process, but this time I wanted to spin the bullet before it launched. Once more, the rock bullet came into existence, but this time, it was turning. The bullet shot off into the distance with a crack. That's a little better…
I couldn't test how effective the bullet was, but the next time I fight a monster, I will be giving it a try. However, I don't think I can get it to be as fast as a traditional gunpowder bullet using just earth magic alone.
This brings me to my final test—combination magic.
Combination magic is the act of combining two different schools of magic into a single spell core. This kind of magic is incredibly difficult and taxing on the user and, in most cases, downright impossible. In order for somebody to be able to use combination magic, they first need an affinity for two schools of magic. Then those schools need to be able to be combined reasonably.
But fire and earth magic… now those were two schools of magic that were meant to be combined. Making a stone bullet that would explode into a white inferno would be something. But sadly, I can't test that here so I'll just settle for increasing the speed of my stone bullet with the force of a fire magic explosion. That shouldn't burn the fields…
I hope.
First I formed the spell core for my altered stone bullet. If I ever planned on using this in combat, I was going to have to be faster about creating this spell but right now, being careful and precise was more critical.
Once I was ready, I tried forming another spell core inside the original. The second I finished the fire spell core inside of the earth core, I felt a tremendous amount of mana being taken from me as it flowed into my combination spell core. It was enough to make me gasp from the sudden loss of so much mana. But I maintained the spell and didn't allow it to fire prematurely.
After a few deep breaths and a few more seconds of concentration, I managed to do it. I created my first combination spell core. I let out an involuntary chuckle as my spell came to life. It felt good. Real good.
Besides the whole thing draining a quarter of my mana part.
I released the spell core, and a loud crack echoed out. The stone bullet propelled by fire magic was far faster than if I had just used earth magic alone. This was a huge success. But… in all honesty… I felt like it should be more.
The earth bullet's speed was increased but not enough for it to be a real bullet. Let alone a railgun… a railgun, huh… I wonder.
I remember reading about combination magic and how it always talked about combining two schools of magic, not three or more. So that begs the question? Can I do all of that while throwing in my new lightning magic to accelerate my earth round even more?
Only one way to find out.
I did a little stretch, took a sip of water from my ring, and focused on my breathing. After a few minutes, I felt ready to try once more. I followed the same steps as before and prepared my earth core first then, followed by my fire core. The jarring feeling of my mana leaving me didn't surprise me the second time around since I was prepared this time.
Now time for some lightning magic.
I tried forming the third core for a lightning spell inside the double core, and the second the third core came to life, I screamed in agony.
I fell to my knees, gasping for breath as I felt my mana drain from my body at an even faster rate than before I managed to cut the spell core off. The spell core failed and took all my mana with it, leaving me gasping in pain as I tried to steady myself. My vision swam, and cold sweat poured down my body as my consciousness threatened to slip from me.
The spell core had taken nearly all of my mana in a matter of seconds. I previously had well over half of my available mana, and now I was down to a small puddle's worth. Thankfully, I managed to remain conscious and didn't outright kill myself, but casting a three-cored combo spell is nearly impossible.
I'm not even sure if I had all my available mana, I would be able to do it. A combo spell incorporating three or more magic schools is out of the question.
I see why people don't write about it… because most people probably can't even attempt it.
My body felt like lead as I dragged myself up from the ground with a groan. I felt like death, but that was a sign that I was still alive. I trudged my way through the fields and back to the main road so I could get back to my room.
I needed some food, and now I needed more sleep…
—
It was still early morning but the town of Anderfield was already bustling with commotion. People were moving about heading to work while street stalls had food prepared for those who needed a quick bite. I was dead tired and felt like crap, but I figured I needed to finish my errands… I'll just be quick about it.
After a while, I stumbled upon an area of the town that must have been the market. Most of the stall owners were still setting up for the day, but a few were open and ready for business.
Like most of Sandervile's towns, this town focused primarily on agriculture. But since this town was more significant than the typical podunk farming town and had a guild branch office, there were a good amount of adventures as well. Armed men and women walked around the market, perusing various items.
I made my way to a stall that was selling leather items like bags and such and made a purchase. The bag was a little big for me but it's not like I planned on putting much into it. The cost reflected its… dubious quality as well but it didn't matter.
This backpack's purpose was purely for show and I would be putting the bare minimum amount of things in it. After all, why would I ever want to carry all this weight when I have a magic ring that can do it all for me?
With my purchase complete, I set off towards the guild building once more. But before I reached the guild, a familiar voice called out to me. "Goodmorning, Voker. You're up early today," Anna said cheerfully from a bench.
Anna was sitting on a bench outside of a building that was unmistakably a church of some kind. She was wearing her priest vestments, but they seemed to be a lot cleaner than usual. I wonder if she had a second pair for… whatever she is doing.
"Morning, Anna. And I could say the same thing to you," I responded.
"Are you okay? You don't sound very good… and you look more pale than normal."
My voice sounded ten times worse than usual, and the muffle from my mask made me sound like I was still asleep or dying inside. "I'm… not feeling so hot right now. I pushed myself a little hard in my training this morning."
Anna motioned me to come over to her. "Well, sit right here and let me give you a hand."
I was tempted to decline, but if Anna could help with the feeling of mana sickness like Grandpa did, then I was willing to comply. I sat down next to her and she placed her hand on my shoulder. I felt the warmth spread from her hand, and she let out a small gasp.
"Voker?! Did you give yourself mana sickness? What… what were you thinking?" she asked earnestly. I felt like she was scolding me…
"I just tried a new spell, and it didn't go as planned."
I felt the warmth of her healing magic increase as she pushed herself. "What kind of magic are you trying to use that would cause you to go into the first stages of mana sickness? You have to be careful, Voker! Mages can die easily from mana sickness, and if you use all of your mana… then that's it…"
"I know. I didn't mean to."
Anna sighed and took her hand off my shoulder. Beads of sweat rolled down her arms and forehead. I felt a tinge of regret making her work so hard because I messed up, but I didn't vocalize it.
"In the future… if you are going to try spells you are not familiar with, then at least ask me to come with you. As long as you don't die instantly, I can always heal you. So please, don't do this to yourself, okay?" Anna said while smiling down at me.
"I'll keep that in mind," I said a little more awkwardly than I had anticipated.
I already felt magnitudes better from Anna's few minutes of light magic. I was still dead tired but at least my body didn't feel like a lead block. "Thanks… for healing me, Anna."
Anna giggled and flexed her bicep with a smile. "Of course, anytime you need help, I'll be there. You just have to ask me."
I grunted in response. I wasn't used to people being so friendly with me. "Say, what are you doing up so early?" I asked.
She frowned and seemed to deflate slightly at my cold tone. "Oh, whenever I'm in a town, I try to run the morning congregation if they allow me. But, most of the time, the priest or priestess is more than happy to take a break and let me do a sermon."
"I see."
"Do you follow any religion by chance, Voker?"
"No, I'm not particularly religious."
"Would you maybe like to… attend my sermon this morning? I think even someone who doesn't follow Amon-Ra might find something useful. And if you like it, maybe we can do this more often?" Anna suggested with a different kind of smile.
"You sure do take this stuff seriously, don't you?" I asked, trying to deflect from the topic.
Anna giggled again. "I guess I do."
Then her smile deepened, but her voice was serious. "It's sort of my passion… I feel like I have a duty to serve the church. I owe them a lot. And I want to help others who were like me, those who feel lost in the darkness."
"I heard Sylvia say you were from the Holy Kingdom. I thought it was a nation of mostly Humans. Why are you so far from home? And would you mind telling me about that symbol? The one with the two knights crossing swords?"
"Yes, I'm from Arotal, but I wasn't born there. And you would be surprised, the Holy Kingdom of Atoral has a rather large Elven population. As for why I left? Well, for stuff like this I guess. I wanted to spread the word of the church, and I thought that going out into the wide world would be the best way to do it. And this symbol?" she asked while holding up her golden amulet. I nodded. "This is the symbol of Amon-Ra. It's pretty much everywhere. Amon-Ra was said to be two men who ascended into godhood through self-sacrifice for the sake of Humanity, becoming the one true God."
"I see…"
It seems that the symbol is for the religion as a whole and not just for the Chapter of Despair.
Religion is a fickle thing. Before I was reborn I would have said there was no God but now I can't be sure. Surely the only being that could take a soul and transport it into another body was a God of some kind. But the question is… which god is real?
Amon-Ra? Delpha the patron god of the Dwarves? Who got it right? Whose god is the real deal, if any? Are all gods just God? I can't be sure. Anna was smiling off into the distance, so I decided to ask a few more questions.
"So if you weren't born in Arotal… then where are you from?"
"Well, I was born in the northern parts of Amoth, the other continent."
Huh?
"I thought the northern portion of Amoth was the land of Vampires?" I asked, confused.
"It is, well mostly anyway. It's a large portion of land, and it's filled with a bunch of small countries. Most of them are indeed run by Vampires but there are Human and High Elf countries there as well, albeit small."
"I see. Is it true that war is a constant thing over there?"
"Yes, although I was only a little girl, I still remember things as if they happened yesterday," Anna said as her expression became more complicated. "It was one of the main reasons my parents sold everything they had, and we trekked across the continent to get to Arotal. You see, I was kidnaped in a Vampire night raid, and that scared my family."
"A Vampire night raid?"
"Mhm," she nodded slowly, and her normally cheerful voice became somber as her expression darkened. "Vampires can see better in the night than even Dwarves or Beastmen. So they would often attack villages during the middle of the night and kidnap people so they could drink their blood. I got caught in one of those raids. My family was forced to pay a ransom for my return. It's a cycle… it's a horrible cycle…they raid villages, kidnap people and drink their blood, force families to pay a ransom, then do it all over again."
"And nobody has tried to stop them?" I questioned.
"Some do, most can't. It's hard to stop a group of powerful and armed people when they raid a small village. Especially when they are backed by a country, not that we could ever prove that…" she trailed off wistfully. "After I was returned, my parents sold everything we owned, and we made our way to Arotal to find safety. We traveled for a long time… we went through Elshara's Magic Forest and even some of the western dunes. I even got a chance to see The Scar, although it was from really far away. Once we got to Arotal, the church took us in even though we had nothing. I grew up in a small church in the north, and when I got older, I decided to become a priestess, so I went to the capital to learn. It's there that I learned I was blessed with the ability to use light magic and well… the rest is history I guess."
Anna looked over at me and turned red."Oh, I'm so sorry! I was just rambling, and I—"
"It's fine. I learned a lot from your story," I reassured her.
I stayed silent and listened closely to her story. Learning more about this world, especially the other continent, was fascinating. Considering I've never even seen a map of it yet. It seems Anna is just a good-natured and charitable person. She came from nothing and has made a place for herself in this world. She had a goal and a dream, and honestly, that's a good thing.
"What is this Scar you are talking about? I've never heard of a place like that in Amoth?"
"I suppose people don't like talking about it since it's a sore topic for those who live around it. Do you know the story of Talgan?" she asked.
"Talgan the Bloody Emperor. He was the first Vampire and a powerful man who could rival the Dragon Emperor's power. That story?"
"So you do know it? Well, then you know how the story goes. The Six's first encounter with Talgan was said to be in the western portion of the Magical Forest that encompasses all of the Republic of Elshara. However, legend has it that it wasn't much of a fight. It was said Talgan used some kind of magic and wiped out nearly the entire army that the Holy Kingdom sent to assist The Six. That event led to the creation of The Scar. A piece of land cut out from the Magical Forest that can never heal. Incredibly powerful monsters spawn in The Scar now and wander into populated territories. The Wood Elves call those monsters Wounds, and they are mighty," Anna recounted.
"Why hasn't anyone destroyed The Scar then? And what do those monsters look like?"
Anna giggled. "You sure do ask a lot of questions. I haven't heard you talk this much ever, Voker."
I felt my face heat up just a tad as I managed to squeak out a response. "I'm just curious, is all. People don't seem to talk about ancient history all that much."
"It's good to be curious. They say the more curious a child, the smarter they will be when they grow up," Anna teased me while smiling.
"Now you are just making fun of me…" I groaned.
"Oo—kay, I give," she said with a smile. "But as to why nobody has destroyed The Scar is because everyone has failed. Every expedition that has tried to reach the center has never made it even halfway. Most people don't survive so everybody stopped trying. There is no water, no animals, and no resources of any kind. Not even shelter to hide. When I saw The Scar, it was just an abrupt end to the forest, then nothing. Nothing for as far as the eye could see. The ground looked black but I didn't get close enough to see it nor did I see any of the Wounds. I've only heard that they are all black and their appearances vary."
"Good to know."
As if on cue, the church bells behind us began chiming, and Anna shot up. "Oh, I'm going to be late!" she squealed. "I'm sorry, Voker… will I see you tonight at dinner?"
"I'll be present, yes. Thanks again for healing me and talking with me, Anna."
"Anytime, maybe you can tell me a little about yourself next time, Voker?" She suggested with a warm smile.
"Sure, I can do that."
Anna gave me a quick nod and wave as she was already standing up to head inside. With Anna gone, I stood up from the bench and stretched my tired body to make my way back to the guild. I felt like all that sleep I got last night was for nothing. I wanted to go straight back to the guild to go to sleep but there were a few more things I needed to attend to before I rested.
Like, eat breakfast…