Chapter 4 - Regrets (Ch.4)

Chantria sat there at the bottom of the ocean, with her arms tightly wrapped around herself.

Her gaze was fixed ahead of her, staring out into the vast ocean in a daze as she came to terms with the fact that she truly must have died in her sleep.

Chantria's heart was overcome by sadness and regret, she could not believe this had happened to her,

She had put all she had into fulfilling the dreams and responsibilities left to her, of what use was all her efforts now?

Chantria truly regretted having studied so hard for that upcoming test, if she had known she would die before she got to take the test, she would never have put so much effort into it.

Chantria scoffed, ignoring the bubbles emitted from her lips as she let herself fall back to lay down on the sea bed, memories of her short, unfulfilled life flashing through her mind,

Merely a day before, she had been a young woman with great dreams and aspirations, she had been a model student,

A doting sister and even a loving daughter, as reluctant as her love for her father had been.

Yet here she was now, at the bottom of a sea, unsure if this was heaven or hell or someplace in between and unable to understand why she had ended up as part fish after her death.

There were so many regrets, so many things Chantria felt she could have done differently.

She did not live to become a medical practitioner like her mother had wanted her to be, she had studied so hard, worked so hard and she ended up passing away before she could truly achieve anything,

All the hopes and dreams Chantria's mother had for her, she had not accomplished any of them and had died in the most unreasonable manner, drifting off to sleep never to see the light of day again.

And what about her brother Denver? His relationship with their father was irreconcilable.

Denver had been the one to bear the full brunt of their father's infidelity as he had been cast out alongside their mother.

Chantria had been too young then, till this day, Chantria could not understand why she had not tried harder, done whatever she could to remain with her mother,

But she had truly been too young to understand what a divorce entailed, and what winning the battle of custody meant for her, her father and his new wife,

She had not understood what a broken home meant, or what a divorced stay at home wife left with nothing would have to suffer in a cold, lonely world.

If Chantria had known then, perhaps she would have done something more, perhaps she would have cried harder, screamed louder and begged her father more desperately.

But with her father being completely blinded by his love for his new beau, Chantria knew the reality was, nothing she could have done would have changed anything... she had never had a say in it all.

And neither had poor Denver, tossed out because he was of age to pick a side and could not be involved in the battle for custody, because he had done the right thing and chosen to go with their mother.

And then not long after, their mother was gone, her heart burdened by too deep a grief that it had given out, leaving Denver to spiral into the darkness of drug dealing and gun fights,

All the while, Chantria lived a splendid life in her castle, her only discomfort being her step mother's presence and attempts to replace the position of her mother even in her life.

And for a time she had let her, before her eyes opened to the sly, scheming true face of her step mother,

Before she came to the understanding that her step mother only held so tightly unto Chantria because she had failed to bear a child of her own.

Chantria had watched her father and her step mother drift apart due to her inability to bear children and still yet, Chantria had been unable to feel any satisfaction at her step mother's ordeal.

How could she? Chantria had only come to her own senses when her mother had already passed away and Denver was already too broken,

That was when she understood it all clearly and left her father and his new wife to lead their lives however it suited them,

She had paid her dues to her father as a filial daughter for eight years and it had cost her her mother and almost Denver as well.

Chantria could never understand why Denver had never blamed her for not coming to him and their mother,

She guessed perhaps he had even hoped she did not, that was just how Denver was, always willing to bear the downfall alone.

Chantria knew her brother and mother had loved her so much, they had hoped she never had to suffer injustice for even a second, that she never had to want for anything all her life.

That she could lead an easy life of happiness and abundance, never knowing the painful reality of the world,

And for a time, Chantria had done just that, until she just couldn't anymore.

Chantria had worked so hard to bring Denver back from the brink and she had reaped the benefits, all that was left was for him to finally dissociate himself from the mafia,

And now, at this critical moment, she had left him too, even when he had said it time without number to her that she was all he had left and he could not afford to loose her as well.

In the end, just like their mother had, Chantria had left him too.

Chantria's eyes fluttered closed, her heart constricting painfully as a lone tear slipped out her eyes, immediately swallowed up by the sea water.

Just when Chantria thought she could get a moment to wallow in her grief before she resumed panicking over her predicament, the strange status screen showed up again beneath her closed lids...