I looked at myself in the mirror of my room which now feels heated and uneasy, despite the cool temperature this evening.
I held my box and took a second glance at the room before looking back at Clara who sat surprisingly quiet on the bed.
"This feels so odd," she finally uttered.
"I feel weird myself," I answered.
"No, not that. Why do you have your things packed? You're not getting married today!"
I sank into bed and held my palm to my face feeling nothing but sadness. I wasn't ready for tons of things and I was most definitely not ready to go for dinner.
"I feel weird," I repeated.
"Spit it out," Clara said, laying down beside me in bed.
"Why do I want the marriage to end so fast and still don't want to get married at all? Do you get me?" I asked.
"No, I don't,"
"Of course, you don't. I don't, myself," I gritted my teeth so hard and stared intensely at the ceiling.
My phone rang, bringing me back to reality.
The caller, being my mum brought me closer to my reality.
"Hello, sweetheart," she said at the other end, and I could hear a car honk in the background.
"What's that noise? Where are you guys?"
"We should be at your place in the next thirty minutes or one hour. It's quite tight out here," she said with a smile.
I sat up in bed and looked down at myself.
"In the next thirty minutes?" Clara equally sat up on the bed.
"Yeah. We'll pick you up right then,"
"Alright, mum,"
"Thirty minutes?" Clara asked again, looking at me and I nodded in return.
I hurried to the bathroom and rushed a bath and in less than ten minutes, I was done.
I wasn't ready to put in a lot of energy into my look but it was all left to Clara to accept that or not. It was really not my call.
She had already laid down on the bed three dresses we got the last time we went shopping and I was beyond skeptical as to which to choose.
"This one," she held a red dress to her body and smiled. I gazed at her as if waiting for a change of statement.
Not this again.
"It's a dinner, not a disco party, Clara!" I said, rolling my eyes as I dried my hair.
She dropped the red one and brought out a silver lining dress.
I wasn't certain about it but I tried it on still, but it looks so odd that Clara was convinced as well.
I tried the third one which was a black flowing dress. It looked quite good but it was a see-through with a criss-cross at the cleavage. It'd have looked good if I was going to a strip club.
"No other choice but to try this," she raised up the red dress I had declined. By this time, I had just ten minutes left so I hurriedly tried it on.
I looked in the mirror and was marvelled at myself. The view looked presentable but it seem I was doing too much or probably trying to impress which was not a good aura to carry for the event.
I wasn't ready to impress him.
"OMG! This is the one," Clara clarified.
I looked at myself again and applauded the details.
It was immaculate.
It was a semi-long dress stopping right under my knee with a massive slit stopping below my butt. It has a puffed hand with red crystals embedded on its chest forming a V-neck. It accentuated my curves rightly and my boobs were peeping out showing a huge part of my cleavage.
It speaks luxury.
I loved it but it wasn't for me.
"No, Clara. This isn't for me!" I was trying to unzip it while Clara was trying to zip it back when my dad's car honked outside.
"Here we go," she said with a broad smile.
She sat me down by the dressing mirror and dabbed my face with a little foundation and powder, rushing it all on my face.
She highlighted my eyebrow and eyelashes before applying a little gloss on my lips and combing down my hair.
I looked good.
I looked too good for dinner despite the simplicity of the makeup.
"You look incredible, Carol. I did a great job," she said with a smile and a knock sounded on the door before it revealed my mum.
"Hey, baby," my mum said, giving me a tight hug.
"Hey, mum,"
"You look extremely beautiful," she complimented and if I hadn't changed the subject, she'd have a drop of tears roll down her cheeks.
"This is Clara, mum. My neighbour and my friend,"
"Hi, Clara," she greeted with a broad smile.
"Hi, Mrs Twain. You look just as beautiful as she had said,"
She must be so proud that I finally made a friend.
"You didn't tell me about Clara,"
"We haven't had much time to talk, mum,"
"We should go. You know how impatient your dad gets,"
"Bring some news. Some hot gist," Clara whispered before we exited the room and she waved me off.
The drive was quiet and the silence was so overwhelming to the extent that a pin would echo so loudly.
The night was still young but there seem to be very few people roaming.
I looked out the window and enjoyed every bit of it. The cold evening breeze, the view. I tucked a few stray hairs behind my ear.
No one was willing to break the silence, not my dad, even though we haven't spoken since I got in the car, neither did I so I just enjoyed the silent drive while it lasted.
"You look good in that dress," my dad said but I didn't make a sound since I wasn't so sure if that was meant for me.
"Carol," my mum called, causing me to pull out of my thoughts from neverland.
"Thanks," I managed to say and so did the rest of the drive remained to be. Quiet.