–Natasha-
"So let's make this simple Natasha, I'll avoid talking about Mike because yes, that was inevitable, I even warned him about it, but in other news, guess what! since you left I have lost about fifteen fishes of the red sea, that's a considerable number, don't you think? so when I find you, you better be ready to come back to Clermont club, you don't want to have me fucking around your Italian and your daughter's lives do you?" He said. I couldn't keep the phone to my ear. I knew I had to be right, there was someone else pulling strings behind Mike and he would most definitely be more dangerous than Mike was, of course I hadn't expected it to be Aron, Clarissa's good husband. She was married to the devil, but this was not an example of love is blind but rather, women could be blind at times, no, stupid was the word in my mind when I figured this out.
For a woman like Clarissa, I was sure it didn't have to be about the sex, she was not that kind of a person, she had to have miscalculated the whole thing and somehow found herself with such a man who had the mind of a terrorist. Love was to blame, however, I wasn't back at Merlin's doorstep to beg for forgiveness or his love again because I knew I was just a few days too late for that, and even if it would work, it wouldn't take me to convince him, maybe his sentimentality over his daughter whom he was actually seeing for the first time. I figured he had a lot of faith and he probably hadn't forgotten about our last two nights together before I left Italy.
[5 years ago]
"So Nattie, do the others know about this?" Merlin asked as we danced in his bathroom with dawn right on our foreheads. "No, but we are having a double date right, we can tell them then" I said with a huge grin on my face and a whole lot of water splashing on my head. I loved nothing more than how his hands were around my waist, this time having to kiss me without having to apologize and claiming it was a mistake later on, the way I hung my arms over his shoulder, but I could also see the hurt that was on his eyes. We were having our last day and night together and we'd push a long time without having to see each other. The longest we'd gone without each other since the time we'd met wasn't more than a single night's sleep and now I wasn't the only one who was just about to suffer the side effects of their loneliness. I was punishing him more than I was ever punishing myself, but still, he never held back on kissing me and making love to me in the shower. Oh God I couldn't believe I had waited so long, twelve to thirteen years to finally feel him despite all the love I had for him in all that time.
Priya and Rajesh sure had seen through each other, they saw through us too, but we never saw through their strategies and plans for us. Now to be honest, Priya knew that I was set to leave Italy and she had asked me not to leave assuring me that she and Rajesh would sacrifice some of the elements of their relationship to make sure that I stayed and enjoyed more life with my Merlin whilst I did go to work of course and earned big. She would give us the life of our dreams I understood that, but I wanted to start my life the way which didn't involve charity acts by my bestie, and I certainly wouldn't forgive myself if the two of them had had to sacrifice certain elements of their relationship for me to get what I wanted, it simply looked and sounded selfish. However I had gotten it all wrong, the concept of friendship.
"Are you sure you want to go there Nattie?" asked Rajesh, I nodded enthusiastically; I knew they wouldn't be able to find the right words to convince me when I looked that happy. "Okay, if you're sure and happy then go for it and kick some ass". I seemed to be the only one happy about me leaving, I had taken a very big decision by myself and that by itself proved I wasn't worthy of this amazing group but I was blind to the fact. I thought I would be the one to make them rise and be recognized for the human beings that they actually were contrary to the bullying they'd faced over the years in school and the neglect in high school. Priya remained quiet for most of the time on our double date, she'd only speak with Rajesh when they would find time to be together privately and I wasn't around and from the looks of things, Raj seemed to be consoling her each time.
It made me feel guilty but I wasn't revoking my actions unless perhaps Merlin had to convince me and make me feel guilty about it, however… "So when you come back" he'd say, Everytime he'd lift me up spinning around with me in the air. I wouldn't see the same joy in Rajesh and Priya on the other end of the walkways at Parco Savello. The night was quick to arrive and it was the two of us again, Merlin and I. At some point we simply laid quietly on the bed and gazed at each other quietly before he said "Don't go Nattie" I knew that it would be hard but the only thing that'd hold me back was guilt, that I was sure of. This wasn't, but I sincerely wanted to make love with him a little more before I left and this emotional moment was just perfect. I tenderly kissed him on the forehead, assuring him that I would be fine but the less selfish question in this case would be about him being fine without me. He saw through me and placed his palm behind my neck, gently drew my face to his and affectionately brushed his lips with mine, while his other hand untucked the lace of my bra.