Without missing a second the witch did exactly what she said. She hurriedly put on her hat, which was hanging on a lame monk in the hall, grabbed her flying broom, which was parked near the front door, and her spell book from a table by the stairs, and went out mad with impatience and full of the glee of devilry into her deadly arboretum. She put the book in her armpit, so that she could have her hands free to manoeuvre the broom, mounted the broomstick, whistled cues, as we do to signal a horse to start, and in an instant she took off, herself like a menacing vulture seeking in the desert for some unprotected and thirst-weary victim to feast upon.
Soon the rooftops began to recede and the city began to look like a colorful mosaic beneath its thick shoes. The wind whistled in her ears and brushed aside her tangled hair. She flew so high that anyone who saw her, especially if they were old, would easily mistake her for a blackbird and it would never occur to them that she was in fact a twisted and ill-tempered city witch.
But Edna from up there could see everything down to the most infinitesimal detail. She could even clearly see a small fly sitting on the shoulder of a black-clad gentleman. You see, in addition to his other abilities, witches, especially the bad ones, possessed a vision so keen that it would make an eagle look half-blind. With her tongue-in-cheek eyes she studied passers-by in great detail, searching for the right victim to put her evil magic into action.
She flew over one of Happy Hee's busy streets, which was lined with small shops and larger stores alike, Royal Street. She could see a number of dignified Lendrosian gentlemen and ladies walking along the sidewalks, gazing at the window displays, chattering, commenting on the various wares, entering and exiting the various shops but none of them seemed to her to be suitable for setting up an amusing prank. Something else she was looking for, something else she wished to see. Suddenly her eyes twinkled. as they always did when she saw something she wanted and a shrill, shrieking, shuddering laugh came out of her gaping mouth.
A woman with a cute baby lying in a swing on wheels and very warmly dressed was walking around looking at the windows. This woman was pale, thin, and wearing a little cap fastened to her hair with a few hairpins and a beige coat buttoned all the way up, called Mary Harris, and was particularly proud of her pretty, brown-blond baby
Edna was delighted. We all know what hatred the wicked witches have for children, especially babies. Without a second thought she opened her book and began flipping through it, looking for the spell she intended to use. Ah, here we go, she purred in a flash, it's just the thing. In an instant she said the magic words and pointed her bony finger at the crib with the baby.
Mrs. Harris went on with her walk down Royal Street without suspecting anything. Suddenly a plump old woman with a good deal of blush spread generously across her cheeks approached and leaned over the crib.
- Ah, a sweet little baby. Can I pinch his cheeks? I love babies. What are you doing, sweetheart?
- "Isn't my baby handsome, really?" said Mrs. Harris proudly, and stopped pushing the cradle, to give the fat woman a chance to admire her little angel.
The red-cheeked lady called Angela Watson could not see well, but she did not wear her coquettish glasses. Nevertheless, in order to get a good look at the baby, she took them out of her bag and put them on.
- Let's see this little angel. Fuck the baby, she said with a smile and reached out her fat fingers to pinch the baby's cheeks.
But what was that? Quite inexplicably the woman at first froze and took on an expression of perfect wonder and confusion that turned first to surprise and then to indescribable horror. She turned as pale as a sheet, except for her puffy cheeks, which from being very red remained the colour of a ripe apple, took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes as if trying to banish a nightmarish hallucination. When that failed and she was satisfied that what she was seeing was real, she opened her mouth wide and let out a piercing scream so high in pitch that someone who couldn't see could easily believe that a hospital patient was passing by.
- Help!" screamed the fat, devil's baby in desperation, and with speed truly admirable for her cubic capacity, artfully balancing her remarkable bulk in her ridiculous high heels, she turned her back on Mrs. Harris and began to run like mad to get away - "Come on, Jesus," made offended Mrs. Harris, what fly had bitten her, and anxiously bent her head to look at the swing.
But now it was her turn to squeal. The creature peering at her from the swing looked nothing like her beautiful baby. The monstrous creature had a nose as thick as a potato and full of pink, ears pointed yet somewhat droopy like a dog's, bloodshot eyes and two large horns, and its skin was dark green. As he opened his mouth, his pimpled tongue hung out ten forks, his chin grew large scattered hairs, and his hands had the claws of a wild animal. The creature that lay in the cradle and stretched out its arms to Mrs. Harris was not a human baby but a little troll.
The woman began to whimper and squeal like a madwoman.
- My child what has happened to my child? Help Christians. Many gentlemen and ladies gathered around the cradle to see what was wrong with the baby and to help as they could, but it only took one look at him for their expressions to contort into a grimace of disgust.
- Edna from above had burst out laughing but, to complete her awful trick, she muttered a few more magic words and pointed to the roof of a shop near Mrs. Harris. At the same moment a handful of ill-favoured goblins made their appearance and began to sing falsely and cacophonously like a chorus. What were they singing? A sadistic little song that unfortunately soon spread all over the street like fire in dry grass. Various brats began to sing it and, because the lyrics were funny and the tune was amusing, it wasn't long before shopkeepers, passers-by and slowly but surely all of Happy Hill caught on.
Madame Harris' baby
is so ugly
If you see it late at night
It'll wil make run and cry.
What a nose! What a pout!
You can't bear to see it
And it's a true curse
To have it in your crib
Edna high in the sky in a state of frenzy was celebrating, giggling, squealing and in short having more fun than she had had in years. But since her spell had worked so well she said she would use it one more time.
This time she stood out among the crowd and took aim at a cute little love couple Alex Rockwell and Annie Harrison, who were walking hand in hand on the paved sidewalk exchanging kisses and love talk. The wicked witches get pimples and get sick when they see couples in love.
Edna high in the sky in a frenzy was celebrating, giggling, squealing and in short having more fun than she had had in years. But since her spell had worked so well she said she would use it one more time.
This time she stood out in the crowd and took aim at a cute little love couple Alex Rockwell and Annie Harrison, who were walking hand in hand on the paved sidewalk exchanging kisses and love talk. The wicked witches get pimples and get sick when they see couples in love.
- 'You're the sweetest little bug in the world,' Alex said, and, as he squeezed his beloved's hand tenderly, he gave her a look of adoration.
- 'And you are my little hazel,' replied Annie affectionately, and laid her head on her young friend's shoulder. Two elegant ladies who were walking down the street chatting, seeing the two amiable and so much in love young people walking side by side, smiled, and one leaned into the ear of the other and said admiringly, "What a well-matched couple!" Annie heard them, and contentedly whispered to Alex.
- Will you kiss me, pumpkin?
- Right away, my chocolate, he replied, and closing his eyes brought his face close to hers. She closed hers too and waited for the kiss. As their lips joined, from somewhere above came a malodorous laugh like the croak of a magpie. Annie opened her eyes and so did Alex but they immediately pulled away, their faces filled with horror and they simultaneously let out a manly cry.
- My God, what's the matter with you? cried Alex, crying, what has happened to your pretty little face? Annie had become unrecognisable. A reclusive monster that could only breed terror. Her head upstairs had swollen and become huge, her face long and unnaturally narrow and her jaw reached her chest. Her ears had widened and lengthened like a donkey's; her skin had wrinkled and gathered as if she were a raisin, and her nose had become soupy with an upward slope, so that the first beautiful girl reminded one of some forest goblin, and a huge unsightly hump had sprung up on her back.
And the first amiable and charming Alex, however, presented no better spectacle. He was disfigured and looked identical to his lover. Their clothes had also been replaced with dirty and grimy rags. The two unhappy monsters fell into each other's arms and began to cry.
Those who passed by at that time stopped short to see the strange sight of these two horrible creatures weeping in each other's arms. Some passers-by, of course, taking a single glance at them, could not help themselves and immediately ran away screaming for help, while others who were passing by the busy street at that time twisted their faces in disgust. Some old boys began to mock and make insulting faces and some old ladies shook their heads sadly.
- What a matched pair, one fool commented without pity as he walked past and another agreed and smiled wryly. Immediately on a rooftop a little further on the known goblins made their appearance and began to sing all brio:
There's Alex and Annie!
You'll be scared when you see them
In ugliness they're not enough
There's no one else in the world
See how much he looks like her
And she matches him
They're demons of the right kind
From toe to toe