I turned my gaze from the hallway and let it fall on the door. It was partially opened but I was asked not to come inside.
I remained standing, in front of the classroom. I've been waiting for Xavier to come out for over ten minutes.
I was glad I wasn't wearing a gown or some skirt. I felt comfortable in the joggers I tried on.
When I came to meet him, some funny-looking guys requested his presence and he asked me to stand outside and wait. I had absolutely no idea what he was doing or keeping away from me. Xavier was becoming secretive lately and it infuriated me.
I looked at the screen of my phone and check my call log. Devin's number welcome me and my lips twitched. I really felt like talking to Devin. I just needed someone to keep my mind away from what happened at home.
I couldn't place it, the more I tried to comprehend it, the more difficult it turned.
Although I knew I shouldn't tell strangers things concerning my family, Devin didn't feel like a stranger.
Xavier was the one treating me like a stranger. He knew what was going on before it even resulted in the fight but he kept it away. He hid it so well that I couldn't figure it out.
Dad said he was being seen at odd hours. I never gave that a second thought because he was mostly on night shifts but he returned later than usual.
It just dawned on me that the previous nights had him coming back at midnight. He kept acting strange, flinching at the slightest touch and hiding his jackets.
I realized how vastly I overlooked these signs and forced myself to believe he was just acting out of stress.
The kiss too, Xavier wasn't going to stop till we stopped sneaking around. I swallowed the chunk in my mouth as I remembered what Devin said. He saw I was bothered and wouldn't say a word so he asked me to open up.
"Listen, Emily, you need to open up. It doesn't help to keep shit to yourself."
He was right but I wasn't about to have those moments of counseling with Devin.
"Is this about Xavier?" He didn't wait for me to reply before he continued. "You should learn to say things in particular to Xavier. Be direct and be firm on what you want to know."
He spoke as if he knew about whatever Xavier was hiding and it made my tummy grumble.
Xavier appearing in my front brought me back from my thoughts.
"Let's go," he casually said and grabbed my hands.
I succumbed to his hold and followed him to the car. When we got to the parking lot, I removed my hands from his hold and paused.
"Xavier wait!"
He paused and turned to me. "What's the problem, Emily?"
"I need to tell you something."
"Can't it wait till we get home?"
"No. Xavier, I need to put an end to this."
His brows furrowed and I licked my lips. "Xavier we can't keep doing this."
"This isn't the first time you're saying this, Emily."
"But I'm serious, I can't keep kissing you."
He walked out without responding to me and entered the car. My lips twitched and I joined him in the car. The ride was quiet, nobody said anything.
When we got home, I climbed out and locked the door. I moved to the door and noticed Xavier wasn't behind me. I'd have normally stopped to ask what he was doing but I acted like I didn't care.
I pushed open the door and entered the house, walking to the fridge. I was thirsty and I needed to change my clothes.
I grabbed a bottle of water and swallowed greedily. I hadn't had any liquid since I woke up and that left me dehydrated.
I changed my clothes into a big polo and biker shorts. I repacked my hair into the same style. The low bun was neatly knotted as I placed the band on it. I dressed my bed and removed my clothes from the bed. My shoes were scattered so I arranged them too.
When I was done, I picked up my note and settled down to study. I needed to study 'cause the exams were fast approaching and I needed to make up for the bad grade I had in my mid-tests.
I heard footsteps and I knew it was Xavier. I didn't turn in his direction, instead, I continued gazing at my book and ignoring him.
When I saw he wasn't saying anything I looked up to find nobody.
"Was it just me?" I asked myself.
I was sure I heard footsteps and even felt Xavier's presence. I stood up from the chair and stepped out of the room.
I met him locking the door and I just wondered why he was doing that. I stood quiet but he noticed me on time and turned to me.
His eyes held mine for a second then he walked toward me.
"What did you say at school?"
Was he just realizing what I said or did he think it was a joke?
I know I've said it before but I still kept moving in circles with him. He must think I'm weak and can't keep to my words but I'll prove him wrong this time.
"Emily, what did you say at school?" He asked again, this time louder.
I took a step back 'cause he was closing the gap between us and it was suffocating. I needed to breathe while thinking of the best way to answer him.
"I said I need to put an end to this and we can't keep sneaking around. We can't keep doing these, kissing, smooching—"
"Fingering, bathing together?" He completed.
"Yes."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and took another step back. "Xavier I love you but it doesn't feel right."
"Why doesn't it feel right?" He asked like he didn't know he was my fucking brother.
"You're my stepbrother Xavier! You can't be my boyfriend and we can't keep being nasty around each other. I can't imagine my brother being my boyfriend."
"Are you sure you can't imagine it?"
"Yes, I can't imagine it."
"Don't imagine Devin in your life. Don't expect to have him too."
I swallowed another lump and my brows creased. It hurt that he thought of me like that. I raised my hands and slapped him.
He turned his face to the right and held his cheeks where I slapped. He didn't say anything to me, he just smirked and walked away.
Fucking hell.