Children got wolf forms at the ripe age of 15. It wasn't unusual for a child to undergo their transformation in their lives, so it was something parents always expected. After all, these forms determined status and even their likely roles in the near future.
Pure blood wolves, daughters and sons of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas always got darker colour shades. This difference made them higher on the chain than the other wolves with lighter colours. That was how power was split. Right from that age, everyone knew their statuses. They knew where they belonged and how their lives would pave out for them.
This wolf's form was also the reason Ash had tears stinging her eyes. There was no particular ritual to bring forth the wolf. It simply revealed itself when it was ready, preferably the full moon after the child's 15th birthday. Yet her wolf brought no joy to her.
From her spot, she could hear laughter from the other houses and she ran her tongue over her snout. Not that her having a wolf caused her sorrow. It was more of the fact that it was having two colours. Her wolf was black and grey almost at the same time. It seemed the black faded into the grey and vice versa.
Her mother, though, clapped cheerfully. "Congratulations, Ashina. Your wolf… it's absolutely beautiful."
A whimper escaped her mouth, and she turned away from her mother. "I have two colours, mother. Two isn't good enough."
Avana sighed, but moved closer to her little daughter. "Don't say things like that. You sound ungrateful and the Moon Goddess has blessed us with this. It's more than anything we could have wished for."
Rather than discuss any further with her mother, she turned her snout upwards and huffed, which got a chuckle from the older woman. Ash thought she didn't get it and if she didn't, there was no way she could. She was trying too hard to see the brighter side of things, even though there were little to no bright sides.
"Ashina, you need to stop acting like a child and act more your age." She reasoned, tilting her head to the side and rubbing a comforting hand through her fur.
She pouted further in response, sinking further into her gloomy mood while her tail stayed down. Ash knew she was right. There was absolutely no reason for her to be offended by the way the Moon Goddess had made her wolf. It would have been pathetic for her to transform into her human form now. It was unheard of for a member of the royal family to have two colours in their wolf. Though her mother acted unbothered by the situation, Ashina knew it was only a matter of time.
"Does this mean I can't fight on behalf of our pack? I don't understand why this has to happen now, Mama. Everything was going perfectly fine until… until this stupid wolf came out!" Ash whined, her eyes glassy as she stared directly at her mother.
Avana sighed, placing her hands on her thighs. "It might be true that this would be hard on you, but it's all for a good cause. You need to learn to love your wolf, child. It is a part of you and will remain with you even as you age."
She didn't get it, Ash thought, changing back to her human form. She had worn some special shorts that didn't get ripped despite her transformation. Apparently, their ancestors had always had issues transforming and ripping their clothes. These rips caused them to go naked after transforming back. Measures had been taken and things had changed for the entire generations of wolves to come.
As for her fur, though, nothing had been found for it. No one could tell if it was a defect or a curse by the Moon Goddess. Though one thing remained common in all two-coloured wolves, they were all weak and could barely survive in battle. It annoyed her even more because this hadn't been in the plans she had made for herself. Plans of the future she had created in her mind. Perhaps it was a mistake.
"Ashina… I couldn't ask for anything better." Avana said, hugging the child to herself. "Don't blame yourself for anything."
Not that she blamed herself. She knew it was the Moon Goddess's fault, and it felt like she had been dealt a heavy blow to force her back to reality. A reality where she was nothing but a weak wolf meant to be ridiculed.
•
Gavin had a mark on his face that was jagged all the way from his right eye to his chin. Rumours had it that his father had been the one to slash him before exiling him from their pack. Regardless of the stories, though, Ash had felt drawn to him and this had led to them forming an unlikely friendship. As the daughter of the Alpha, she ensured that the children didn't bully him. This had happened years ago, though, when Ash was still taller than Gavin and they all still hadn't gotten their wolf yet.
As Ash walked through the school, she couldn't bear to hear the laughter from other students. Gavin had held onto her waist and had used his larger frame to shield her from the ridicule. But it did little to cover the bruised ego Ash had. She wanted to yell back at them and tell them she wasn't weak and that they had no right to decide she was weak just because of the way her wolf was. Word spread way faster in their pack, and it was only going to get worse. She had told none of her family at home that she had to endure the insults daily.
"Don't listen to them." Gavin breathed as they turned a corner to the roof of the school. "They're not worth it. You're strong and your wolf is just as strong."
She bit her lower lip and cursed under her breath. Of course he could say that. His wolf was huge. It had just one colour and his build had changed with the transformation. He had gotten bigger than he was barely months back and his wolf seemed to have his back. The relationship was something Ash envied. Even as she spoke to him in that moment, it felt like it was his wolf speaking through him.
"Ash? Are you listening to me?" He asked, his face reflecting that of a worried dad.
Ash chuckled and slapped his shoulder. "You might be bigger now, but I can still take you down if I want. That's all I'm going to say."
"That's my girl."
"I'm not your girl, Gav."
Elyse jumped into the circle and wrapped her arms around Gavin. "But I can be your girl, Gav."
Gavin fake gagged, but didn't remove her hands. Soon, they all walked to the steel chairs that had been discarded on the rooftop and sat on them. It was better than staying in the cafeteria that was overflowing in wolf ego. She wanted to stay away from the school if she could, but she had little a choice. She had skipped for some days after her transformation, but her mother had pushed her back out.
"Don't overthink it, love. It's all going to work out just fine." Elyse mumbled, grabbing her lunch from her bag.
Ash also ate as slowly as she could, trying to while away time and distract herself from the annoying wolves that surrounded her. It was one thing for her to struggle with her form and another to be brought down daily because of it.
"Earth to Ashina." Elyse sang, waving her hands in Ashina's face. "We're heading down. Are you coming?"
She soon realised that their break was over and it was back to another round of her literal hell. She looked back at her friends and nodded, not wanting to delay further than she had already. They already had enough being with her and always standing up for even if that meant they were avoided, too. Children were far devious than grownups and even more annoying. Though the adults showed their distaste in her wolf with her, a hint of concern and subtlety, she knew it was all lies. They were all liars, and none of them truly cared about it.
"It's going to be okay, hm?" Gavin said, holding her hand in his and staring directly into her eyes.
She felt her insides melt before she gently pulled her hands out of his hold. "Thank you, Gav. You should head to class now. You don't want to be late."
He hummed, but didn't make any move. Neither did she. "Promise me you'll be good, Ash."
"I can't make such promises." She said, chuckling. "Bye Gav."
It was one thing for her to make that promise, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep. From the look in his eyes as he looked at her, he also knew that it was impossible. She walked towards her class, waving at him and walking straight ahead.
•
She had walked home with a lot of struggling and though her ribs were shattered; she knew she couldn't let herself pass out before getting home. With the injuries she was nursing, home seemed a thousand miles away even though it was only steps away. Ash cursed under her breath as she dragged her feet towards the door. She knocked with the last bit of strength in her before the door was ripped open.
"Mother! Ashina is back!" Nilsa yelled, holding onto her body and cradling it. She had tears in her eyes, which made Ash frown. "Where were you? We were worried sick."
Ash smiled and leaned further into the dress that smelt like flowers. Somewhat she was glad neither of them would go through all she had to. She couldn't imagine Mizuki or Nilsa getting bullied. It was one reason she trained hard every single day, and it was why she was currently beaten up to a pulp. Her sisters had gotten their wolves a year apart. It had been two years since she had gotten hers and the bullies weren't letting down. It seemed they enjoyed it. Maybe her pained expressions pleased them or the fact she was the Alpha's daughter brought them so much joy.
"I apologise." Ash finally whispered, her hand brushing away the hair in Nilsa's face. "I apologise for making you worry."
Nilsa shook her head, still sobbing. Just then, heavy footsteps rushed towards them, and she watched as her father lifted her with a look of disapproval in his eyes. "Why didn't you carry her, Nilsa?"
Nilsa paused, her words stuck in her throat. "I–"
"You're strong now and your wolf's strength would have lifted her. You should learn how to use your strength, okay?"
Ash couldn't help but feel terrible at that moment. Not only was she weak, but now her younger sisters had surpassed her strength. Rather than protecting them or their family name, her father now expected them to protect her. Her father kept walking towards the room and she hurt with each movement.
"I've called the doctors." Her mother said before looking down at her child. "Oh, Ashina…"
They put her in her room, and no one spoke another word to her. She felt pained that even though her fight had been for the dignity of her siblings, her father was displeased.
The doctor came around some minutes later along with a couple of herbs that had been ground. He told her transforming into her wolf might take a couple of weeks and besides her ribs, there was nothing else that had broken. Dorian and Avana were pleased that she wasn't in grace danger, but their faces conveyed little, especially Dorian's.
"What were you thinking, Ashina? You know you're not powerful, and yet you keep getting into so much trouble and putting us through all this."
Ashina frowned. "Why do you keep scolding me? Is it because I never mention how the children in school taunt me? They hit me, father and I have always taken it because you taught me to not hurt my people. They don't listen though, and even though I avoid it, they still come for me."
"As the daughter of the Alpha, you are expected to show maturity and leave them be! Do not encourage their acts by going into a duel with them. Did you think you would win?!"
A gasp slipped past her lips and she stood up from her bed, despite her body screaming in protest. "I'm not weak!" She yelled. "I've never been weak and I will never be. I need you all to realise that, but just like everyone else, you don't think I'm strong too!"
"Stop yelling at your father, Ashina."
Dorian chuckled and said to his wife, "No, let her. Let her scream at me as if that would help things." Then to Ash, he scowled. "You won't get far if you keep acting like this and I'd have you know that no daughter of mine would go down the rebellious path you have chosen."
The finality in his voice made her body quake, and she fell to the ground. Perhaps it was the fact he thought she was just being rebellious rather than him defending her. He hadn't even mentioned the bullies who had put her in this state.
"Do you even know what they were saying? Do you think I'd act unprovoked?" She asked, her voice shaking as tears spilled down her cheeks. "They said they would love to have a go at Nilsa and Mizuki. They said disgusting things about my siblings and I was supposed to take it like that?"
Her father didn't reply, but he turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Her mother stayed, though, holding her arms and placing her on her bed. It only weakened her feel than she already did. The irony wasn't lost on her because no matter how hard she tried to make herself seem strong; she was always disregarded.
"Your sisters can defend themselves, Ashina." Her mother said in a soft whisper. "You shouldn't concern yourself with mischievous people like that. Look how much they hurt you."
She shook her head at her mother, but decided against arguing further. Instead, she said, "I will get stronger, mother. I will get so strong that no one, not even those boys, will hit me again or bring me down."
It was that night, with a battered body and a bruised ego, that Ashina made a vow to herself. It was with the pain and the tears that soaked through her sheets that she decided the only way was forward and nothing would deter her from that path.