The merriment in the air seemed to part as Ash walked past each house. With the words her father had said the night before, she could feel the excitement in the air. She had made eye contact with three men who had taken the liberty of winking at her. She felt irritated being put on the spot. It had only reached her ears that morning that her father had made an announcement to everyone in the village, as well as some other neighbouring ones about the betrothal of his first daughter.
About her betrothal. He might as well have hung her at the gate of their little kingdom as bait. The stares she got from the people she walked past were almost enough to make her puke. With that anger, she rushed into her house, stepping aside in time for a maid that was carrying decorations around.
She slipped into the house and ignored as everyone stared at her, making her skin prickle. She knew her mother would come to get her, so it didn't matter if she hid somewhere.
Ash watched as they fussed about her, dragging her into a room even when she glared at them. Her mother's glare had shut her up and stopped her from struggling against the maids. If she had struggled, there was no way they would have been able to drag her into the dressing room. They brought out dress after dress, pointing out why it would look good on her and her almost red hair.
"I do not want to wear a dress, mother. My pants would suffice." She voiced, tolling her eyes when the sounds of gasps in the dressing room increased. They were all looking at her like she had grown an extra tail.
"I do not care about what you want or don't want. You're wearing a dress."
The finality in her mother's voice showed that any further argument would simply make things worse for her. Rather than waste her time and theirs, she simply pulled a random dress and stepped into the little cubicle. She heard their hushed whispers and frantic movements whilst she struggled to pull the dress past her waist. After minutes of fumbling with the ropes, she eventually stepped out of the cubicle to meet the waiting stares of the maids and her mother.
"There. All done, mother." She said, looking directly at her mother. It was obvious she had done it to rile the woman up.
Avana simply rolled her eyes and motioned to a maid. Ash stared in confusion as the maid moved towards racks of shoes. It was then that she realised what was going on and she wasn't pleased with it.
Ash had glared at the maid as she brought out heels to match the dress. The last thing she wanted was to twist her ankles while walking down the stairs and after minutes of refusal, her mother allowed her to wear her boots instead. After all, the dress was long enough that her boots wouldn't be on display except she pulled it up. The maids patted makeup on her face and through it all, her nose stayed scrunched up in annoyance.
They stepped out of the room and her mother walked on her right-hand side. The walk towards the entrance made her chest tighten in discomfort. She knew that on reaching down, they would meet with one of her many suitors, who thought the role of Alpha was befitting for them. Along the way, Nilsa walked up to them and joined their march to the entrance. Her heart tugged and somewhere in it, she hoped neither of them had to go through what she was about to.
She spared Nilsa a glance, only to find the latter staring at her expectantly. Nilsa nodded at her and reached for her hand, squeezing it lightly. The little action has said more than any other word could. She understood, and she exhaled in slight relief.
They turned a corner towards the stairs. They came face to face with a man standing at the foot of the stairs. She studied his face, noting the blonde hair curled to perfection. His face was fairly sculpted and his body was okay enough. Though judging from his appearance and how he was fumbling, she doubted he was much of a warrior, and that had instantly led to her looking away from him.
"Good day." He said, his voice clear. "My apologies, but I can't help but wonder who I'm to meet."
The eagerness in his voice wavered slightly as he looked from Avana to Nilsa. Ash rolled her eyes before stepping forward to meet his gaze. She could see the confusion bubbling in his eyes, and she smiled.
"You're the princess?"
Upon hearing the title he had regarded her with, she grew confused. Her father wasn't a king, so why was she tagged a princess? She responded with, "Yes?"
"The uh, princess isn't looking the way I expected. She seems rather… bigger than a lady is. Or rather than I expected her to be."
"Then you probably should leave, considering this isn't exactly what you're looking for."
The young man chuckled nervously and tried to wave off the initial conversation he had started with. "Pardon my manners, Princess. Let's start that over before we bare our teeth."
Just as Ashina was about to give him a befitting response, considering the insolence he had just displayed, Nilsa held her hand and spoke instead. "You may proceed, Alpha. We're awaiting your introduction."
"Why thank you, young princess." He said, raising a brow at Nilsa, which made Ash feel unsettled. "My name is Nate. I am the Alpha of the Westward pack and I seek the hand of your beautiful princess."
"Polite I see." Her mother quipped from behind and Ash bit on her lower lip to stop herself from saying anything. "We'll excuse you to have some time with Ashina."
She wanted to plead with her mother to stay back alongside Nilsa. There was no use in them excusing the two of them when they obviously shared no chemistry. The first thing he had commented on was her body, and he still hadn't stopped looking at her. Perhaps he wasn't comfortable with her build, but she could not care less. The gown she had on hadn't been something she wanted, anyway. She would have preferred to be in her custom pants and shirt, something she could move freely in compared to a dress. An outfit that would leave her muscles on display.
When she descended the stairs and walked towards the Alpha, he gulped, now taking in her height as well. She looked at him squarely and then pointed towards the garden. "Shall we head towards the garden?"
He cleared his throat and replied, "I was thinking we could take a ride out of the palace towards the lake. I've heard good things about it and I'd like to see it for myself, considering this is my first time in your territory."
Ash hummed and began her walk towards the entrance of their home instead. She could hear the Alpha coming behind her.
"If you don't mind, can you tell me a little about yourself?" She said softly, partially surprised she had hidden her irritation behind her words.
"I already told you all there is to know, uh, what's your name again?"
Ash rolled her eyes and waved at the guards to tell them she was okay. "My name is Ashina, but you can call Ash."
"Ashina had a better ring to it than Ash, don't you think?"
She couldn't care less about what he thought, especially not about her name. If there was anything she disliked, it was being called her full name even after she mentioned her nickname. Her family cared little for her nickname and they all made it clear, choosing to address her by her full name. The man beside her seemed somewhat amused and entranced by the houses as they walked past. There was no greed in his eyes, just wonder, and Ash was surprised by this.
She had agreed to check Alphas herself so she would know who exactly wanted to marry into their kingdom for the wealth. It was common for young Alphas to selfishly want to expand their domain and claim lands for themselves. But Nate just looked curious and entranced by everything.
Biting her lips, she wondered if she could actually pull through and choose the right person. It would do them a lot of good if they could at least like each other a little. Their arrangement wouldn't be so boring if that was possible, and he might even consider letting her fight as well. Her dreaming was cut short when Nate showed his surprise at seeing the lake.
"Word of mouth doesn't do this place justice. It's far more beautiful than everyone has ever told me."
Feeling flattered, she told him all about their magical lake. The lake was one of their best resources and it brought the attention of other packs to them. She noticed how his eyes widened in childlike excitement. He hung onto every word she said and on the inside; she enjoyed it, probably a little too much. It felt like being with her sisters again when they were much younger. From the lake, they talked about everything and anything. There was an air to him that made her comfortable. She didn't mind his company at all.
"I don't think we would make good partners, Alpha Nate."
He sighed and leaned back into the grass. He had his fair share of thoughts he would like to give her, but he didn't want her to pick offence. Regardless of the outcome of their date, he had decided within himself that he would try to have as much fun as he could.
"I'm not offended by your decision, Ashina. I'm pleased by it and if it makes you feel better, my father also put me up to this."
She chuckled and looked at him. "Mine did too. You should know all of this," she pointed at the dress and makeup, "isn't my thing. I don't even want any of this."
He nodded in understanding and exhaled through his mouth. "I guess this is the end, then?"
"Let's sit for a while. I'm not ready to leave."
And they did. They sat in each other's silence, revelling in the cool breeze that came from the lake. The view was almost magical, and she left her legs in view when she bunched the dress up.
•
Their meeting had ended on a good note, with Nate wishing her father a swift recovery and bidding his goodbyes. Ash walked back to their house alone, still feeling the inquisitive stares of people as she walked. It was almost like she had a banner placed over her head now. Before, they had only acknowledged her by how often she seemed to land herself in trouble.
She got to the house after a long walk and went straight up the stairs to her room. As she pulled her door open, though, her mother's voice stopped her.
"How did it go?"
"It was okay, but I don't see him being the Alpha."
Avana hummed, looking at her daughter in pity before clearing the thoughts that had closed her mind. "You should report this to your father. There might be a couple of suitors tomorrow, and I don't think you'd get as much time with each of them."
She pulled back from her door. "How, then, am I supposed to know who is right and isn't?"
"You spend time with each of them and make your decision. I know you stayed out, so you won't come back to see me."
She bristled, biting back words on her tongue and ignoring her mother instead. Ash stepped into her room and tightened her hold on the dress, realising there was no way out of it whether she wanted. She had no choice but to go through with it. Not for her pride, but for everyone. There was no use in her struggling more than she had been.
Ash chose not to waste too much time. She loosened the ropes that had been strapped to the back of her dress. There was no way she could have taken a deep breath with how tightly strapped her waist had been in it. She had barely noticed it when she was out with Nate, but now that she was alone; it was more glaring and her sides stung.
After stripping, she had stayed longer than intended under the hot splashing water. There, she had thought about almost nothing. She stood under the showerhead, feeling the water pelt down on her skin but being too disinterested to step out. The day had been okay, but that was just that. The next day was going to bring worse things, and she could feel it.
She kissed her teeth and stepped out; the steam coming out with her. Soon she got changed into her nightwear and sat on her bed, contemplating whether she really had to report to her father. She decided she was going to do it after she ate. After all, there was no particular time she couldn't visit her father. She was allowed to at anytime she wanted.
With that thought in mind, she stepped out of her room to the kitchen. Peeking into the pots, she found something to eat, and she served herself, taking each spoonful with nonchalance. She chose not to think about how their conversation was likely to go.
When she finished with her meal, she stood in the kitchen, gathering her thoughts before climbing up the stairs to his room. She got to the front of his door and wasn't sure she wanted to step in anymore. There was a fear that trickled whenever she had to meet him. It was minute, but it was there. The fear that she could pull the door open and meet him was unresponsive. It wasn't exactly the thought she needed to have been right in front of his door. She sighed, pulling the door open.
"Ashina." He said, nodding at her. "How did today go with the suitors?"
She looked away from him, taking her sit on the chair by his bed. "You mean suitor. There was just one."
"I see. How was he then? Did he impress you?"
"It wasn't that he didn't impress me." She started, her eyes glued to her thighs. "He wasn't fit to be Alpha. The chances of him helping with the war-"
"There's no war, Ashina! I asked you to look for a mate, not a warrior."
"I will look for a mate and a warrior. I'm not taking my chances, father." She said. "You should know better. This attack on you wasn't an accident, and it's only a matter of time before we all get ambushed."
He didn't reply, instead he looked away from her, choosing to sulk in silence. There was the constant reminder Ashina gave him. She reminded him of his youthful days and how he had been just as bad, annoying, and careless. The apple hadn't fallen far from the tree, he thought, looking at her through hooded eyes.
"What?"
"What do you mean by that, Ashina?"
"You're the one staring at me like I'm an experiment. You should be the one answering that."
"I trust that you'll make the right choice." Dorian mumbled, adjusting in his bed. "Don't send them all off without giving them a chance, Ashina."
She rolled her eyes at him. "You shouldn't be the one to tell me that, father. I'll choose the best person for our pack. The one that would be of help to me and to everyone."
He nodded and turned to his side, signalling the end of the conversation. Even with her false bravado, she sat there, looking at his back and watching as he struggled to hold his position. Once again, she was left with a choice: to tell him how she felt or to leave it be. At the thought of telling him anything, a shiver ran down her spine and she gagged visibly.
She got up like she had been bitten and walked out of the room without saying a word more. She had given him her report, and that was all that mattered, yet she wondered why her throat was choked. It felt clogged, like something was stuck in it and she needed to get it out.
"Ashina?"
Ash turned around at the voice and saw Nilsa and Mizuki outside the door. "What?"
"I know we haven't been the… most supportive sisters, but we just wanted you to know that we're here for you." Nilsa said, a glow in her eyes and a weird glow in her hair as well.
"Sure. Thanks."
The answer was clipped, and she knew that not that she hadn't liked their consideration, she just hadn't been ready for it.
"Yeah… I guess we'll head over to our rooms now. Have a goodnight, Ashina."
They turned and left, walking downstairs to where their rooms were while Ashina stayed behind until she heard their doors. If they had seen the tears in her eyes or the betraying ones that had slid down her cheeks without her realising, they didn't act like it.