And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and [some] of you shall they cause to be put to death.
Luke 21:16
***
"You really don't think this is a good idea?"
I was watching the passing scenery as I spoke. The snow was falling but had slowed down enough for me to admire the blanket of white around us.
Zane was driving, being careful about slick spots on the road. His dark coat almost blended in with the dark grey interior of the car. He didn't bother looking at me as I spoke.
"Of course I don't. I've told you before that unknowns with us usually turn out badly." he responded.
His answer didn't surprise me. Zane hadn't been happy over our little road trip, but he couldn't say much against it either. Not after what he'd heard the night before when he'd come home to me.
That moment replayed in my mind; Zane standing by the front door, looking down pensively at the hardwood floor.
"The redemption has finally begun." he'd said.
I stared at him, not understanding what he meant at first, though it must've been very important for him to look so pensive.
"What do you mean?" I finally managed to ask.
"Just what I said." Zane responded. He managed to pull himself out of the stupor that he'd been in. I watched him take off his coat to hang it up before he stepped in front of me, "I heard it from a messenger that was sent by Kinsley Martell."
I stared at him as I heard this, "You mean Kinsley's actually going to help us now? He's really going to try to make them stop hunting us?" I said hopefully.
"Yes, it would seem so, but there are conditions that we must meet, and I'm afraid that it's going to take some time. I can't say that I'm too comfortable with them either." Zane admitted. He shook his head and looked away.
"Please Zane, what can we do? We need to stop all of this." I pressed.
"I know, I know." Zane replied, leaning his forehead against mine, "I don't want to see anything like what happened with Chris again, but I don't want to see you hurt either."
"I'll be fine. You'll be with me, and hopefully we can get Will to help us too."
Zane shook his head, "I'm afraid not. I can't even get a hold of him right now. He's disappeared on us again." he confessed.
"Disappeared?" I repeated.
"It's okay. It happens from time to time. It's just who he is. But unfortunately, it means that we'll have to start some of this one our own. It seems that Kinsley's given us a good starting point too. I'm a bit concerned about it, but there aren't many other options for the two of us to start with, especially considering what's happened in the past relating to your father." Zane explained.
"What's he asking us to do?"
"We need to go back to Fallsburg."
"Fallsburg? Why?"
"Because we need to fix the wrong that was done there." Zane answered, "He didn't say exactly what it was, but I do know that it does have something to do with your father's past. However, that worries me. We both know what Saffron is capable of."
"We don't have a choice. We have to do this if we want this madness to stop." I reasoned.
"I know." Zane agreed, sounding defeated, "Just promise me that you'll be careful and stay with me. I don't want to see you hurt."
At the time, all I could do was agree. I knew how desperate Zane was to protect me. He'd been doing it since the day we'd lost Chris. While I was grateful for that, I also wasn't willing to sit back and be a wallflower. Kinsley had given us our first real task to seek the redemption our kind needed, and I was ready to take it on no matter what.
Zane's voice brought me back to the present, "You know, I don't believe that I've ever been to Fallsburg before."
"You haven't?"
I looked over at him, noting that he was trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled between us.
"No, it's one of the few places that I've never been, but it is a bit out of the way too." Zane admitted.
"It's not a bad little town. It is kind of small and tends to be very quiet, but that's what makes it nice. I liked it for the woods. I loved walking the paths before I left with Chris." I explained.
"So I'd heard, but it's also where you first started finding out the truth about yourself as well, isn't it?" Zane noted.
I thought of the pictures in my coat pocket when he said that. Even after all this time, I was still hanging onto those pictures of Saffron and Faith Kent. I just couldn't make myself get rid of them. Shifting in my seat, I took them out to look at them again.
"Yeah. I found that house that day along with these pictures and Saffron's journal. It was so weird when I was in there too. I kept feeling like I should've known that place." I admitted.
Zane glanced at me, "I'd imagine so. Memories can be passed down in the blood for the ones like us, and I'm sure that Saffron has strong memories of that time. To be completely honest with you, I was pretty surprised that Jade had allowed him in one that one. I wonder why he did it."
A faraway look crossed his green eyes. That often happened when Zane decided to muse on a subject, as he liked to put it.
"I don't know. Maybe it's like Saffron's always saying; they just keep sharing that connection." I suggested.
"Perhaps." Zane nodded. He looked thoughtful now, "It does seem like they keep attracting each other. It makes me wonder if we'll get to see Christoff again one day. That is, if he indeed lived."
"You're still not that sure that Chris is alive?"
"I only believe things when I see them. I've had many, many visions in my lifetime now, and not all of them have come to pass, even though they are centuries old. It's definitely not a sure thing. I don't believe that Will's is either. I think some of this is more of his wishful thinking from a guilty conscious." Zane explained.
I looked down, feeling a bit sad again. Wishful thinking from a guilty conscious. That could've fit me too. I felt guilty for living on when I didn't know if Chris had.
"Now, now. Don't you worry so. I'm not saying for certain that he's dead. We don't know that. But we need to keep on living, right?" Zane reminded me.
I felt him reach over and gently rub my shoulder. It made me smile. This was so like him. He was always kind and gentle to me, even if he wasn't always that way to himself. He certainly had some destructive habits at times.
I saw the large sign for Fallsburg through the giant flakes of snow up ahead. It was enough to pull me out of those darker thoughts.
"We're almost there." I stated as I sat up.
"Yes. It seems that I'll finally get to see your old home." Zane replied, smiling at me.
"It isn't much. It's definitely little compared to where you live."
"There's nothing wrong with a small house. I just prefer the bigger ones. That's all."
"You're spoiled you know." I teased.
"Trust me, it comes with the territory." Zane teased back.
I couldn't say that Fallsburg had changed much as we drove into it. At least not in the past half a year. All of the houses and buildings looked the same, although they were decorated for Christmas now. Looking at those decorations as we drove by, I wondered where holidays like this left the ones like us. I couldn't remember celebrating Christmas with Mama as a child. I couldn't even remember us having a Christmas tree.
Of course, I didn't know any better until I was older and got out a little more. I'll admit that I felt a bit deprived. But Saffron had quickly told me not to.
"It's a silly tradition my darling. You don't need to put up a tree in a house for happiness every year. It's just a bunch of work for nothing but material." he'd told me.
I frowned as I remembered that. I didn't care what him or Mama said. I wanted to celebrate this holiday at least once in my life. I wanted to be able to have a Christmas.
"My, my. This town certainly has done it up for the holiday season. It's nice though. I always have enjoyed looking at the trees and decorations this time of year." Zane spoke up.
"Have you celebrated Christmas before?" I had to ask.
"When I was a child. My mother's family believed in it. Well, my uncle did. He thought that a little bit of Christian faith wouldn't hurt anything with me, although I do admit that I've never felt comfortable walking into a church. It gives me terrible headaches to be on holy ground. But that's not unusual for us. That's just the Fallen blood reacting." Zane explained.
The Fallen blood reacting. Something about those words bothered me deeply, but I also understood that it was the truth. No matter how good we tried to be, we would always be the damned children. Even if they stopped hunting us, we would never truly be free of our dark heritage.
We finally turned down the street to my old house. A sense of nostalgia hit me as I looked out of my window. This had been the last place in my life where things had been semi normal for me. This was where I was when Chris had finally found me after searching for three years. That made my heart hurt. Looking at the trees lining the street, I could almost picture him standing by one; but just as quickly, the vision disappeared. That was right. Chris was gone, and more than likely, he was never coming back.
"Looks like we've made it." Zane said as he pulled into the driveway of my old house.
"Yeah." I responded absently.
I looked up at the house in front of us. It didn't look like anything had changed on the outside. Even the wind chimes that Mama had hung on the small porch were still there, moving slightly in the breeze. The only thing that seemed different to me now was that Mama was gone, dead and buried down in Baton Rouge. Another victim of my father.
"Why don't we head inside and see how it is? Hopefully Saffron was being somewhat truthful about keeping it decent for us." Zane went on as he looked over at me.
"No kidding. I hope so too." I agreed.
I shivered at the sudden cold surrounding me as I got out of the car. That little Kia had definitely been a lot warmer than I'd taken it for. The air was frosty, and the snow was falling steadily again.
I carefully followed Zane onto the porch, feeling how slick it was under that snow. It even crunched a bit under my feet, a sign that there was ice mixed into it. Now I was grateful that we were off the road. The conditions were getting dangerous.
Zane looked under the front mat and found the key hidden there. I glanced back at the street as he unlocked the door. For some reason, I felt like we were being watched. But I didn't see anything that looked out of the ordinary. I shook my head. Must've been my imagination.
The feeling of familiarity hit me hard as we stepped inside. Everything was the same. All of the furniture was still there, although it was now covered by sheets. Even all the pictures still hung on the walls. Sadness washed over me as I looked at those pictures. Mama was really gone. I would never see her again. No matter how overbearing she'd been, no matter how strangely she'd acted, she had always been my mother. Losing her had been a lot harder than I'd ever thought it would be.
Zane flipped on the nearby light switch and the foyer lit up, though the bulb seemed dim. I wondered if I was thinking that because of my thoughts of my mother's death.
"It looks like he's kept his word this time. At least the house can be used as a home for us while we're here." he noted.
"Yeah. Come on. I'll show you around. I don't think there's much to see though." I admitted.
We spent the next hour going through the house, pulling the sheets off the furniture and making sure that the rooms were heated. The heater wasn't running that well, so Zane lit the fireplace too.
I ended up standing in the doorway between the kitchen and den, thinking about what my life here had been. Less than a year ago, my life had been almost normal. I'd been a nineteen-year-old girl who was dreaming of starting her life away from her overprotective mother. Back then, I never could've understood why Mama did what she did. But now, I knew that it was all out of love. She was trying to protect me from what was proving to be my inevitable fate.
Zane stood beside the fireplace and smiled as he looked around, "This is much better, don't you agree?" he commented.
"Yeah. At least it's getting warm now." I answered, forcing myself to walk back to him. I heard the floorboards creak a little as I did.
Zane gently pushed my hair over my shoulders, "I know this must be hard for you to be here now. It's been a long road for you already, hasn't it?" he noted.
I nodded, biting my lip, "It's been insane. This time last year I never would've imagined all of this." I confessed.
"Perhaps it wasn't the best idea for Saffron to have such things kept from you at such an early age, but there's no changing it now, and we can't change what's already happened. We can just hope that things work out for the better." Zane continued. I noticed the sadness cross his green eyes as he spoke.
"You miss Chris too, don't you?" I sighed.
"All the time." Zane admitted, hanging his head, "But I also know that I cannot change what has happened. I've just hoped that perhaps one day we'll see him again if he indeed still lives. I can't say that for certain either. While I concede that Will is usually correct in his assumptions and Saffron is as well, I'm still having a hard time believing it."
I smiled, "Is that because you really don't know or because you're worried about what will happen with me?"
Zane smiled back, leaning his head against mine. He laughed slightly, the soft, sweet sound echoing off the walls.
"Perhaps you are correct on that, but it's okay. I know he'll always be the first in your heart, and I have to accept that. I'm not worried though. I'm quite content with what I have right now with you. You help me a lot more then you know."
"Zane, please don't do something stupid again. You know you don't have to, even if you do heal quickly." I pleaded.
"It's okay. Everything will be fine, and I promised you that I wouldn't let that happen again."
I had to accept his words, even though I wasn't that sure of whether I believed him. I was beginning to understand by then that when you're born as a Shadow Wing, your life was anything but good. With Zane and Will, I had definitely begun seeing this. Zane had a lot of demons within his mind now. He'd confessed to me after we'd started living together that he blamed himself for what had happened to his mother, and also what had happened to some of his younger half siblings. He couldn't make them strong enough to survive. He'd failed them, and they had all died, and now he feared failing me.
I pulled back from him as I recalled that. The room was very quiet as we stood there, say for the slight crackle of the fire. It kind of gave me the creeps.
"Do you think we still have cable here?" I asked as I looked at the TV in the corner of the living room.
Zane laughed, "Guess we'll have to see, but this silence is a bit unnerving, isn't it?"
"No kidding." I looked back at the doorway and the nearby stairs, "Hey, while you work on that, I'm going to check my old room. I wanted to see if Mama left anything in there."
"Very well. I'll see you in a bit." Zane agreed, going over to the TV and looking behind it to see where he could plug in the box.
I shook my head as I saw that. Apparently, Mama had left everything behind when she'd gone to Baton Rouge with Saffron. Had she anticipated coming back here with me afterwards? It was hard to tell. But the thought made me sad. Maybe Mama had never suspected that Saffron would get rid of her so soon.
I forced that sadness back as I walked up the stairs. They creaked and groaned like they always had, and I held onto the railing to be careful with the carpet under my feet. These stairs had always been a bit slick at times from that.
I stopped as I reached the upstairs hallway. There was a door to the side and a door at the end. The door at the end had been Mama's bedroom. I debated going in there but couldn't make myself do it. Instead, I walked over and opened the door to my old room.
The inside of the room looked just like how I'd left it. The only difference was that the window I'd climbed out of was now firmly closed with the blue curtains drawn. I flipped on the light switch and stood in the doorway, taking it all in. This was so familiar that it was almost heart breaking. My little twin bed was still pushed up against the right side of the wall, and the white dresser was on the opposite side along with my bookcase. The hope chest was also still pushed against the wall under that window. Even the white walls looked the same.
But looking at it all, my eyes went back to my bed and what was still sitting on it.
When I'd left that night to find Chris, I had left the box with the pictures and book all sitting out on my bed. That box was still there, but it seemed like the book and pictures had been put away and it was now closed.
I sat on the bed, feeling it sag a little under my weight, but I paid it no mind as I picked up the box and slowly opened it. As I suspected, the book and pictures were put away in there. Even the envelope with the pictures of Faith Kent that I'd left behind was in there. I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Mama had left it all there. She'd put away and walked away. I wondered what she'd been thinking. Was she angry? Afraid? Or had she accepted that this was coming all along, and there was nothing more that she could do or say?
"Ariana?"
I almost jumped at the sudden voice and spun around to see Zane standing in the doorway, looking at me with a bit of concern.
I quickly pulled myself back together, "You scared me." I breathed.
"Sorry. I wasn't trying to; but I was getting a bit concerned. You've been up here for quite a while now." Zane responded. He came over and sat beside me. He looked surprised as the bed sagged.
"It's an old bed." I laughed.
"So it seems. It kind of reminds me of back when I was kid." Zane chuckled. He reached over and took the box from my hands, studying it, "So, this is the box that Chris told me about."
"He mentioned it to you?"
I hadn't realized that. Since I'd left this town with Chris, we really hadn't spoken of this box or anything in it again.
Zane nodded, taking the book out and flipping through it, "I wasn't that surprised when he told me about this. The ones who tend to stay on the mortal plane like Saffron will at times keep records of what they do, and given everything with you, Saffron may have had deeper motives with all of this. This journal was probably started for his own amusement, then turned into something he felt he could pass on to you. The pictures of Faith Evans and his time with her and Jade were probably more for him, while the ones of Faith Kent were for you, at least in a sense." he explained.
"I don't think they were all for me. Trust me on that one." I told him.
"Perhaps not." Zane lamented. He put the book back in the box, then removed the envelopes and looked at the pictures, "It's a real shame with some of it. I will say that. This whole thing for you started on the day that he met the Evans woman. I'm sure of that much. If that cycle hadn't been set in motion, then you wouldn't have been born. But at the same time, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and given our situation now, perhaps what happened with her wasn't all in vain. It may have been the beginnings of our salvation even then, even if it was born from evil prayers."
"I don't feel that sorry for her for what happened back then, but she's free now too. According to Chris, that last reincarnation was set free from that curse, and now I'm stuck with this."
I crossed my arms, feeling a bit angry. It wasn't fair that I was the only one left suffering in this.
Zane put the pictures away and set the box aside, "Don't be so hard on everything Ariana. Like I said, it all happens for a reason, and we're here now because we may actually stand a chance at having better lives." he reminded me.
I looked back at him, moving a bit closer, "But you still don't really believe it, do you?"
"I can't say I do yet. I've seen many false promises by now, so I believe things when I see them happen. But it's okay. I'll do this in hopes of having this dream come true, and because I want to stand beside you." Zane responded, leaning his head against mine and closing his eyes.
I closed my own, enjoying the closeness. I'll admit that this was something I'd come to love with Zane. He had a very kind heart. It made a part of me wish that I could truly fall in love with him, but at the same time, I knew that it may be impossible. As long as there was still hope for me that Chris was alive, I would never be able to give up on him. I could never fall in love with another man.
Zane finally pulled back again, "Come now. Let's go downstairs. I've managed to get the TV to work, so we can relax a little and maybe get some rest. We have a long day coming tomorrow."
I reluctantly agreed, letting him take my hand and help me off the bed. I could hear the TV playing as we headed back downstairs. It sounded like a rerun of Seinfeld was on. That helped me relax a bit more, or at least it took my mind off everything that I knew was coming.
Tomorrow, Zane and I would be heading back to the abandoned house in the woods. According to the message we'd been given shortly before we left Manhattan, our first task would be to undo the last cycle that Saffron had set in place.
We had to find a way to free that woman's spirit that was trapped in that house.
When Zane had first told me this, I'd felt an immediate cold fear well up inside of me. I didn't want to go back there. After that encounter with that woman, I'd never wanted to see that abandoned house again. But I knew that I had no choice this time. I had to help our kind start proving that we were good at heart, and if that meant facing this ghost again in order to free her, then I had to do it.
The next few hours passed quietly for the two of us. Zane and I remained in the house, staying warm from the fireplace and watching TV. Since the snow had let up again, we ordered Chinese for dinner. Scraping the leftovers on my plate into the trash, I glanced at the window on the door near me. Night was falling now, and the snow glistened in the fading light. It looked so cold, just like I was feeling inside. Losing the ones I loved had taken quite a toll on me.
"You know, you're letting yourself get depressed over silly things."
I spun around at the new voice, spying the figure sitting on the counter near me. Vivid blue eyes stared back at me as the coy smile graced his face.
"Saffron." I breathed, "Did you really need to do that?"
"Did I frighten you? I would've thought you'd be better at sensing my presence now." Saffron commented, sounding completely unconcerned about my reaction to his sudden appearance.
Dressed in black like he always was, he had one leg crossed over the other as he played with a golden chain looped around his long fingers. I recognized it as a necklace that had once belonged to Mama. No doubt he'd decided to keep it for whatever reason. Saffron seemed to have a habit of taking things as he pleased.
"I was thinking about something, so I didn't notice you." I defended. I turned and closed the lid to the blue trash cane, then walked past him to the nearby sink to wash my plate fork.
"You know darling, that's not a good habit to get into. You don't ever want anything sneaking up on you. I thought I taught you that a long time ago." Saffron reminded me.
"You did, and I'm usually good about it. I've just had a lot on my mind."
I didn't bother looking at him as I washed my dishes. There was no need to. Saffron didn't seem like he was in any kind of threatening mood.
I heard him chuckle, "It seems so, but there's no need for you to act so down about that boy. I've told you before that he is alive, and he'll eventually come back to you. Also, you have a perfectly good Shadow Wing right here with you. Does Zane not please you?"
I took a deep breath before answering, "It's not that. I do like Zane, but he'd not the person I fell in love with, and it's not like he has that connection to me like Chris had. You said that yourself."
"I did, didn't I?" Saffron sounded amused.
I finally turned to face him, "So, you know what we're here for now. You have to let that woman go." I went on.
"Now, who ever said I would do that? As I recall it, that soul belongs to me." Saffron responded. He hopped down from the counter and moved in front of me without making a sound.
"Maybe you think she does, but they want her to be free, and Kinsley said that if I could let her go, then it would help to keep them from hunting us." I informed him.
"It's another way for you to bend to them. That's how I see it. What Kinsley's asking is a tall order for one such as yourself, and the only reason he's having you do this is because you happen to be my child. He really thinks that you can sway me." Saffron countered.
"And what if I don't have to convince you? What if I could set her free myself?" I challenged.
I didn't have the first clue as to how I would do that, but I was willing to call the bluff. If anything, I wanted to see what he said.
A slight smile played on Saffron's lips, "A challenge huh? I like that. It's been far too long since any have tried such things with me, let alone my own blood. This should fun now."
I shivered a little as he said that, remembering Chris's words to me months before. Never trust the Fallen Ones, even our own fathers. If we trusted them completely, it would only get us killed. But I still refused to back down.
"Fine. If you want a challenge then I'm game, but I will set her free." I declared.
Silence fell over the kitchen as we stood there facing each other. I watched Saffron closely, trying my best to be defiant, but it was still hard for me when he stood over me and gave off such a threatening vibe. Even though he wasn't doing anything threatening, I could still feel it, and with everything I'd come to see and know, I knew how dangerous he really was. It would've been nothing for him to snap my neck right then and there if he saw fit. He could always create another like me if he chose.
Saffron finally spoke again, "Very well then. We'll leave this like it is for now, and you can go back to that house and give it your best try tomorrow. I won't interfere this time." He leaned down and kissed me between my eyes, "Just don't kill yourself in the process. It would be a shame to lose you now."
He then disappeared in a flash of shadows. I stood still, touching where he'd kissed me. My skin felt cold there. I shook my head. I didn't think I'd ever begin comprehending the way Saffron thought. Maybe I didn't want to. After all, he'd told me himself that the Fallen were basically insane.
Zane came in, "I can't say I'm that surprised that he wouldn't agree to what needs to be done. He still is what he is, and more than likely he sees that woman as one of his possessions." he commented.
"You heard everything, huh?"
I'd figured as much. Zane was good at hiding his presence when he wanted to overhear things. It was a talent he had.
"Yes, I did, but like I said, I'm not that surprised by it. None of them are the types to back off from what they think is theirs, even when it shouldn't be. However, I don't believe that we need to worry too much either. We can do this ourselves." Zane reassured me as he laid a hand on my shoulder.
"Yes, we can." I agreed.