"I hate to be vulnerable. I hate not being in control. I am not sure what will happen next. But I am sure of one thing now." I finally looked at him.
"I hate you for doing this to me. I hate you for making me feel this roller coaster of emotions. I hate you for disturbing the peace that I have built around me all these years. I hate you for being so cool and attractive. I hate you for making me feel comfortable and special and loved. I hate you because when I'm with you I let my guard down, because I trust you enough, being myself is too natural around you. I hate you because I thought I would never feel this feeling to anyone anymore. I hate that I am so in love with you."
I don't know who more surprise between us; me, finally saying those words or him, hearing them. For a moment, he just stared at me. No answer whatsoever. I felt embarrass for being so expressive. I tried to let go of his arms still wrapped around me. But he pulled me closer and held me tighter.
"Are you trying to get away after confessing to me like that?" he is now smirking. My face must have been so red now.
"It's embarrassing…"
"That's spontaneity for you, Miss Rivera…" he chuckled. "And as usual, you have an uncanny way to confess… this hate confession from you is getting more regular now, huh?"
I pulled the blanket and covered myself in embarrassment. I thought I can live with the aftermath of this confession. You know those romantic movies never tell you how it looks like after the confessions? It doesn't always end up with a kiss. There is a moment of taking it in, until it becomes too awkward. He pulled the blanket out of me. And he is in a big grin, he is enjoying this.
"I want to hear it again. What did you just say? I might have misheard what you said…" he teased.
"I love you, Nam Jae-woo." He looked at me lovingly.
"For a moment there, you gave me a scare. I thought you hate me so much you biked your way here to say goodbye…" he smirked.
"I did bike, I have not even thought about it, but I just headed to this direction while thinking. But if there will come a time that I will hate you to warrant a goodbye, I won't make much effort to say it, I will just disappear." I joke, but knowing myself, if there will ever be a time like that, I might disappear.
"Were you not cold with wearing only this?" he noticed my outfit. I am wearing still wearing my gym clothes, although I have a thermo long sleeve short on, I only have a vest over it.
"Adrenaline… I have not even thought of how cold it is…"
"You'll get sick drink your tea or it must be cold now…" he took the cup and give me a new one.
"I have to go back to the Loft though…"
"You can stay here tonight…"
"I have to make something to bring to your parents tomorrow, aren't we going tomorrow?"
"That's already tomorrow…so that's why you're pressured…" he commented.
"Not really, not just because of that."
"You don't need to bring anything…"
"I want to…"
"Ok. Let's go."
He brought with him his weekend bag and took my bike in his car. I bought earlier the ingredients to make macarons to bring to their house tomorrow. He said it will be brunch, usually their family teatime is brunch which starts at 11 and ends around 2. Living in Copenhagen for the past 15 years, I have developed the habit of always bringing something when visiting friends. And gift-giving tradition becomes a big deal to me that I became too picky in buying in the stores. I have actually thought of making a business out of it, making "homemade" gifts, but I haven't really considered it much yet since I don't think I have much time for it.
We arrive at the loft past 10 in the evening. I went directly up my room to have a shower. And he is following my every step like a shadow. The way I see it, this is going to be another steamy night. He followed me all the way to the shower.
"You just confessed; do you think there's a difference in the feeling when we do this…" he hugged my back. I am already naked. He cusped my breast and started kissing my neck. I turned on the shower to try to distract his aggressiveness. But it is to no avail. He turned me towards him and kissed my lips, inserting his tongue inside my mouth, trying to navigate whatever it is that he is searching in there. It was a steamy shower indeed.
"I'll be down shortly; I will start preparing for the thing I will bring tomorrow…" I stated. We are lying down on the bed. He must have been so scared today, he keeps hugging me and he's not letting go.
"Can we just not buy something to bring?" he's trying to be cute. He burrowed his head on my chest. I can feel he is tired.
"You can have your rest, or you can come and help me?" I offered.
I am waiting for him to reply, but it seems that he is already sleeping. He must have really been so tired. So, I went down to start making macarons. You can never go wrong with cakes and cookies as brunch presents. I made 40 bite size shells with 4 different flavors; strawberries and cream, salted caramel, lemon and cheese, and chocolate. I packed them nicely in a box and prepared it in a presentable way. I have always stored gift boxes for cakes, cookies, wines just in case I am having this kind of emergency.