It was already night time when he woke up. I was already at the kitchen preparing to cook for dinner.
"I'm sorry, I fell asleep."
I didn't notice he was standing by the post between the kitchen and the dining area.
"You can stay for dinner. I already started cooking for both of us." I don't really know how to answer him.
"Thank you."
"So we're back to sorrys and thank yous...." I muttered. I don't know if he heard it.
"How have you been?" Here we go, with the dreaded talk.
"Good."
"Good. Better than me, I hope." His sad smile is more heart wrenching than just seeing his tired eyes.
I don't really know how to reply or further the conversation.
"Are you ready to listen? I will talk. And if you think after this that giving us a chance is out of the table, I will gladly let it go..."
"Do you know what I hate the most? Surprises. I hate that I cannot prepare for situation like this. I hate the feeling of not having the advantage to control what I can do." I started.
"You should try to loosen up a bit. Spontaneity brings out raw emotions because your reactions at such moments are the real emotions that comes out without thinking, without preparation. And I liked that about you…", he answered. I looked at him.
"What's your deal with Ku Yeojin?" There. I asked the question that had been bugging me since.
"Nothing. She's nothing to me. And she won't be a problem now. An ambitious person like her only needs more power to tempt her away from other things."
"So you gave her a share of Namdos?" He looked at me puzzled. "I'm not as innocent or naive as I look. You should have trusted me more."
"I know I should have trusted you. But I'm really scared that my life will scare you. I learned it the hard way 3 years ago..."
"I am no longer your stranger, Ara Rivera, but if you want to pour your heart out. I will listen without prejudice." He continued. But I am confused, I looked at him in bewilderment. What is he talking about?
"I wanted to tell you three years ago about this. But I don't know how you would react, and I was afraid that if I will tell you then, we might not have any chance before we even started" his words make me feel uneasy.
"I was that stranger from the night you poured your heart out at a bar in Copenhagen. The one you asked to keep your secret."
I vaguely remember and I blushed out of shame. That means, he knew me at my most vulnerable time. Wow. Is this really serendipity?
"You were so lonely; I can see through your eyes. I felt back then that you wanted someone to hear you out, but your friend decided to leave. I was thinking then, how could she just leave her like that? Never mind that awkward fall. But when I saw the desperation in your eye when she left, I felt like I needed to step in, to be your shoulder to cry on. I just felt drawn to you from the moment I saw your eyes. I felt your pain and your triumph after being able to express how much you wanted to break free and be yourself. I admired your courage and strength. Because of you I was able to face my own divorce," he confessed.
I can die of embarassment right now.
"So, your divorce is really because of me…" I stated.
"You can say it like that…" he smiled. "That day by the train station, I recognized a new you, more radiant, more confident, that's why I can't seem to buy that train ticket, because I was smitten, it's a complete turnaround to the lady crying at a bar to the woman who transformed into someone else." Is he for real? This guy can be this expressive and sensitive.
"That's why you're too entranced with the idea of fate? Do you still believe that this is all because of fate?"
"How else will you explain it?" he replied proudly.
"It's nice to know you are that person who comforted me back then, it's easier to at least ease up my doubts now, since I don't need to explain about everything I have gone through. But from that night almost 5 years ago until now, there's a lot that happened already. But the constant thing in my life is my son, and I will always put him above everything and everyone else." I am ready to tell him everything.
"For the past three years, I thought I can easily forget you. I thought I have forgotten you. Now, I understand that the reason why I have a hard time dating and meeting other women is because of my lingering feeling towards you…" I was so speechless that when he reached out to kiss me, I didn't avoid it anymore, all I can do is kiss him back, aware that from here on out, there is no turning back. We did give in, to make up for those times from the past 3 years that we have been missing each other. I'm ready to accept this as it is. I am afraid, but I'm fine with it. I don't know what will happen from here on out, but I'm ready to find out.