Haze
I was so reckless, what did I just say to myself?
Take it slow and easy. (￢_￢;)
Right. I literally threw him under frenzy situation.
He ended up fainting due to his excessive fear over taking his rationality. I should have not done so careless as this.
I gently carried him on the couch, and checked if he was running high on fever with the back of my hand while his head lay on my lab.
The fever was not there, I guess my gesture worked out effectively.
He slept through out, and I didn't move an inch from where I sat. I do feel guilty. I must not push when he doesn't want to.
I stroked his silky hair, as I recalled few years back.
It was that time when I was lost in thoughts, confused at what transpired through me.
Dad tried to get in touch me, yet I turned it off, drowned it in the river, walked few more miles in the children park.
I needed to think clear. Not long after, a kid walked up to me, discontent written all over his face.
"Mister?! You can have this." (눈_눈)
A small version of Leah jumped off from his swing across the bench I was sitting by in the park and called out to me.
At first, I looked at the little one still dazed, "Why are you giving me your choco?" When he didn't reply nor take his hands back, I added, "Besides you are really reluctant to give me." ( -_・)?
The way he was grumbling made me look like I was bullying the poor boy into giving up his sweets.
He grumbled again and insisted, shoving it into my palm, "don't just stare at me eat it! It made me feel guilty about eating is alone!"
"Sorry?" I was left baffled on my own, while he rolled his eyes in attempt to explain. (•ิ_•ิ)?
"You were intensely staring at me about to eat it." He pointed to the place where he was playing on the swing and the same direction where my eyes were fixicated for minutes.
"Look kid," I threatened, "you can have those. I just need time to think on my own got that? Run along before I snap your twig-like neck into two." I shooed him away and he did walked towards the swing, but then he came back with his bag, further pushed his presence next to mine, and nonchalantly said, "scoot a little bit to the right, I need to sit."
'You wanna die?' I nearly gave him the dead glare when I'm not in good mood, yet he completely ignored me and focused on searching his bag.
"Since you're willing to take it, how about we share it? Mom said to share what you have with others." He spoke like mama's good boy and it ticked me off.
"Stop being a good boy. Your mama aren't gonna stay with you all the time. So you need to start thinking about yourself." I harshly said to him and I wasn't going to regret the words, until he said, "I know. She's sick. Doctor said she've less than a month or two to live. What about yours?" He handed me a piece of his sweet, waiting for me to take it.
He was just a kid of a stranger, so I spoke what I was thinking all the time, "I..." receiving the sweet and munching it in one go, I revealed the truth, "..... killed her."
"...are you alright?" He looked concerned about me.
"You must think I'm crazy, don't you?" I was sure he would either call me crazy or run away getting scared. However, he was stupid enough to stay and worry about me.
"Didn't you hear what I said--"
"Duh. I heard it, my ears are perfectly fine. So what if you did. I don't think you did it for fun." He cut me off midsentense staring deep into my eyes with his clear eyes, "if you need shoulder to cry on, I don't mind it."
He pretended to brush the dust from his shoulder and pat it lightly, "Mama used it all the time, and this time, I'm letting you use it. Here."
"Don't get too cocky with me kid. Do you thin-" He suddenly pulled the back of my neck with his small hands, patting my hair gently.
"Here here~," he cooed and chuckled, "You're so much like my mom. Stubborn." I admit it calmed my nerves and frustration.
"You can let go now." I nudged his hands, but then he frantically messed with my hair.
"Mister really has a great hair." I let him do as he please but he was going too far to smelling me.
"That's enough." I pulled away, although he was pouting and began talking to himself, 'he smells nice I want to play with it.' His eyes were sparkling with excitement, full of wanting to mess my hair.
"So.. how old are you?" I asked curiously.
He showed all of his ten fingers.
"What're you doing here? By now you should have gone home." It's almost dusk, but then I have no right to say anything to him.
"I'm raising a dog. A husky in the forest!"
He said it so seriously that I wondered if he really is in his right set of mind.
"Mister?" He asked bringing me back to my sense, taking my right hand into his small ones, "come! I will show you something!"
I wanted to refuse, yet someone needs to keep an eye on the brat.
But by the way, who raises a pet in the forest?
We just walked and walked deeper into the forest, until we finally reached to the unknown place where I never been.
"Careful!" He panicked and tugged my arms to his side, missing the steel jaw trap by an inch.
"You almost lost your leg Mister." He said laughing awkwardly, "Didn't you learn to be careful?" He phased forward scolding me like a kid.
"No wonder kids are.... difficult creature: innocent face with mischievous mind."
"Yeah yeah. At least I look good unlike someone."
I pulled his bag, stopping him from struggling around. "You really have a mouth."
"And you don't." I give up.
"I regret this."
"Before you say that, you should see that 'this'."
No one was here, it was just me and him by the crystal clear stream of river. Who knew that this place existed in the first place.
"Come with me," he dragged me with him and sat down on the dirt, not saying anything as he patted my head.
"This is where I think clear. You said you wanted to think right? I'll come back in a minute, you should think while you get the chance. I'll be right back Mister." Off he went.
While he's away, I could finally take a breather.
That child lacks the sense of danger around him, but I'll leave it to that.
I may look pathetic guy right now, since there's no one else, I can take the chance and clear my thoughts, like he said.
Taking lives is nothing new to me, but the one I took this time held my leash. She's sick to her mind but her words still lingers.
"No matter what you do, I'll always own your life, for you're my good boy, aren't you." So much for being her son.
"Mister, you're making that face again!" Here comes the brat.
"Now what is it?"
He grinned so much that even his dimples were showing.
"You'll love them!" Them?
Here, no one was in the sight, instead I found a family of wild fanged wolves.
The wolves sniffed his hands as the kid bowed his head in submission.
I was amused. He got along so well, or it seemed it was tamed by a kid like him, a pale kid like him? Impossible, if it was the hunters and the butchers I would have atleast acknowledge it, but...
He motioned his hands telling me to do the same. So I did.
One of the wolves growled but stopped to sniff the fresh scars after making sure I was not a danger.
And the wolf pushed his head further towards me, rubbing and comfortable.
"You are smiling! Much better than that mean face." He excitedly stood closer, "this look real!" He said pinching my cheeks and hugged me, so warm. My tense body relaxed.
All the wolves jumped onto us, licking our face.
He was happy, "see! You look like them! A lone pretty dog!" He told me, making fun.
"Do I? Ok, but I can be dangerous you know." I said, who knows I can even kidnap him, it is possible since I already.. kill. Even my loved ones.
"You won't. I trust you." He blunts out, focusing wholly on the wolves.
I smiled, he's so innocent. My heart melted since that day. I thought I needed to protect a delicate kid like him. Trust. I love the sound of it coming from him.
"How could you make them obey you? Did you tame them?" I had asked amused.
"Tame?" He innocently stared in my eyes, "who would I? I just rescued the wounded. Now he is my friend!" He squealed cutely.
"Now you look good. Before, you were like a dying fish." He taunted, but I was fine with it.
I was taught by a kid that not even weak could be underestimated. I loved watching him play around. I was attracted to him in someways I couldn't point out, sense of need to take care of him.
He sweatly smiled at me from afar while I still stayed back by the river.
Once viewed as a danger, we were always the target. Even if we withdrew they saw us a threat for the mafia empire. It's obvious that they will seek to destory us, so we almost everyone of our families. So, trust is the least thing we could every think of doing. Even a dog can't be trusted.
I visited that place everytime I was free. Dip my feet in the water along side him, we played in the water, feed the wolves, and listen to his stories.
I didn't have much free time, but I was happy everytime I thought about our time together. It lighten the burden and I could do my job as a boss without any problem eliminating the traitors and spatter the torture rooms with bloods and dead corpse.
It was my norm, but one time, I went there he disappeared without any trace. We just met eight to ten time, and I hadn't even had the idea who he was. I searched everywhere, like a mad person, gave a better description of how he looked like and looked for him everywhere. But only in vain.
His presence just vanished like he never existed.
I was desperate to find him. I nearly forgot about that faithful meeting for a year of searching, thinking it was for the best.
Since no one ever saw him, I kept telling myself he was just my ideal make believe, and I saw him only in my eyes.
But I was so happy for the second time.
I was stuck in the boring party, where everyone aimed for me, mostly those sluts dared to lash on to me.
I kept my hands in the pocket, not even handshakes are welcomed. I wipe their boldness from their system and make their presence timid and worthless. A waste of my time.
I glared at anyone who dared cross the line.
I had my limit, so without any words I walked out of the room and took in the breeze. I saw him during the night behind the hotel, all by himself, and then running wobbling on the high ways when the signal was still green.
If not for me, he would have crashed into the high speedy approaching cars.
"Are you crazy! You could have killed yourself!" I yelled and he closed his eyes begging me, helplessly sobbing, to leave him alone, to stop forcing at him.
My anger fades. he was struggling and he kept on repeating those words.
I quickly held him and took him to where none was there, he didn't even look at me. He was staring at his feet, holding it in.
I know he needs this.
"You can cry you know. I won't judge." He did me favor, so I was only returning it.
He held onto my jacket that I tugged him in and hid his face as he cried. He repeated said sorry about everything, how he couldn't be a perfect son, how he felt when his only one.....
I remembered why I felt the need to protect the kid. He's vulnerable despite how he seems to appear.
My inner beast seems to waken anytime, I was ready to snap those bastards and leave them cripple for their whole life, which I did after I found those guys still in the hotel where I was staying. But I couldn't find the master mind who planned this whole this unforgivable plotting, Trevor. None of them knew who he really was. Nor did they see him. But Leah called him Taylor.
Something was not right.
I wished Leah to tell me his name honestly and what he was doing there, but he still refused to look directly at me. I can still figure out what really happened to him, his shirt was torn, his teary eyes and those swollen cheeks.
He begged me to keep this a secret, without looking at me and lied to me about his name.
It's reasonable that you wouldn't tell a stranger about such thing. So he left after he changed into another clothes.
But this time, even if he didn't want my help, I made sure he reached home safe and a little stalking.
That's when I found out about everything, his name was Leah, the adopted son of the Mr. Cameron, the real son of their close dead friend, one of the mafia head, Mr. Falkirk Devon.
He was still cold out, so I said what I really wanted to clarify that time.
"It's a wolf. Not dog."