The broom, it spoke to me " In the last episode of mop adventures…." Okay, this was slightly weird. I mean not the talking broom; it was just the fact that the broom had a fully functioning mouth.
Yes, for whatever reason the broom had two full, red lips and a lot of teeth at its handle. When I said it spoke to me, I meant it spoke to me. The lips were opening and closing just like real human lips would:
Let's forget about the broom with a human mouth for a second now, why did the broom start a flashback?
All I did was mopping away some puke and blood. Nothing truly warrants repeating such a stupid plot for the audience to remember what happened before.
Come on; the whole story so far could easily be summarized. Dude gets transported to a Highschool for Mcs, gets a secret mission to find a spy, finds a clone of his and was brainwashed by a sentient mop.
Flashback end.
What was the broom trying to do? Did something happen that would need a flashback? I bet Jan Itor had migrated to Mexico, grew a moustache and was now living his life as " Julian Itoria."
He must have left me behind with the evil mop, which was hellbent on dominating the world. Clearly, this must have happened, there was no other logical explanation for the flashback to happen.
Of course, the broom was still talking about something, but I was too busy daydreaming about growing a moustache myself. What the broom was trying to tell me? I had no idea.
Knowing this world, however, I could immediately tell… it was really stupid and involved puns and idiotic play on words.
Maybe the broom would sweep me off my feet revealing a super conspiracy that my dear creator had carefully set up. Carefully set up, in this case, meant thinking about it while taking a dump.
Or even better, the Big dude just wanted to make a pun and needed the conspiracy for just that alone. Last but not least, it would be revealed that the real imposter were the friends that we made along the way.
There was no spy, truly a twist no one could have seen coming. You see, our Creator thought that friends were a mythical existence. Go figure, why he had trouble finding some.
Since he acted like he was the god damn hero of his own; was it any wonder that any other person had to be the bad guy? Look, even I had trust issues whenever that dude is involved.
Whoever willingly placed a human mouth on a broom, could and should not be regarded as a normal, functioning human being.
Who in the right mind, would wake up, get dressed and brush their teeth; only to then think about unleashing this psychological terror onto humanity? Seriously, which sane author includes a demon inside a mop and then goes like: " What if a broom had a human mouth?"
At this point in time, he must be busy ransacking the closest broom closet for inspiration for the next wacky character. How about a horny hammer wanting to nail everything? What about a scissor with separation issues?
" You done yet?" exclaimed the broom creepily.
"Not yet", came my reply, there was still one joke I had to make.
Imagine a wrench, with a heart-wrenching backstory. Its partner, the hot sexy scissor had NTR'd him with a horny hammer just screwing around. This betrayal caused the wrench to see itself as nothing more than a tool… Okay, now I was done.
I had no idea how it was anatomically possible, but I swear the broom did just sigh at me.
" That is the problem with your whole lot, it is like any of you guys is allergic to paying attention. Your brain sees one strange thing and then goes on a 5-minute rant, about why "Hoo" produces cold air but "Haa" produces hot air"
….
What was this sorcery? How could exhaling a "Haa" cause hot air, while "Hoo" was cold? This demanded serious experimentation; I would never rest until I knew exactly how the difference came to be.
The broom did not take a liking to the fact that my brain had decided to go straight to crazy town again. It tried its best to get my attention. Since the well-mannered approach obviously did not work─it decided to give me a good whacking.
After getting a one-two combo by the angry broom my daydreaming came to an abrupt end.
Unfortunately, my brain would never know the magic of the "Hoo" and "Haa".
"If I may ask what is the rating for your story? I am asking since the fan service parade is about to start." The broom might be creepy, but what it just said caused me to place all of my attention on it.
Fan Service was music to my ears. Was there anything better in this world?
"Hey, Big Dude, do not disappoint me, what is my age rating?"
[It is R-18]
Jackpot, baby. It was time for me to see tight outfits and pantie shots. The man inside me was very happy…very, very happy.
" I reckon yours is R-18 like the others; I still advise you to avert your eyes.?" said the broom in a very concerned voice. Sadly, my brain was too focused to follow that warning.
As if my Creator wanted to break my mind fully, the parade started. Every male MC started to wander down the hallway as their authors had created them.
Yes, they walked fully nude. Yes, you could see everything jiggle and wiggle. Yes, these MCs were really packing down there.
I did not want to look, but they were hung like horses; there simply was no looking away.
This image had burned itself into my brain and I could not think about anything else, but the huuuuuge wieners assaulted my eyes through their mighty presence alone.
Was there even an end to this? Just how many naked male main characters did this school have? Why, oh why, did they all have schlongs the size of forearms?
MR Creator, you can stop this madness; Only you can save me from this unholy situation…
Creator? CREATOOOOOOOR???????
He wouldn't draw this parade out any longer than absolutely necessary… right?.