Prologue

From the first time I laid eyes on Brendan Choi, I knew he would have my heart for a long time to come. I did not know then that one day I would also have his or that my diary would nearly end his career.

Chapter 1

Airplanes Are No Place For Spilling Your Guts

30 June – Heathrow Airport Departures

I'm standing in front of airport security. My mum is fussing over me. My kid brother has his head buried in a video game console and my father is checking that I have all my documents. My two best friends Liz and Sunny are waiting behind me. Liz in her phone, tapping her high heel sandals and Sunny, holding up a pair of character plushies trying to decide which to leave out of her bag for the plane ride.

'Are you sure you packed everything love?' said Mum, the worry in her voice so thick, I was afraid she'd burst into tears right there.

'Yes, mum, I have it all," I said running off a list in my head. 'Passport, emergency contact card, allergy card, travel insurance card, hotel number and address in both Korean and English, the name and phone number of the Korean Tourism liaison and the phone number for the British Embassy in Seoul. I haven't forgotten anything mum.'

'Our girl's got everything sorted honey,' said my dad in his calm American accent as he patted me on the head like I was 13 again and starting secondary school in England for the first time.

'Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Blackwood,' came Liz's sweet voice from behind me as she placed a hand on my shoulder. 'I'll look after Gel, I promise.'

Liz had this mature air around her that adults responded to well, a trait I wish I had. With her womanly proportions and tall stature, she looked so much older than me when in truth we were the same age.

'Boarding starts in an hour, and we have a bit of a trek to the gate,' she said, gently pulling me away from my parents.

'And Liz wants to hit the duty-free shops,' Sunny muttered causing Liz's head to turn sharply to her.

'I just wanted a quick look, pick up anything I might have forgotten,' she said with an air that it wasn't important, but I knew better.

'Alright,' said Mum with a sigh and a sniff. 'You call me as soon as you land you hear me.'

'If you're still awake,' I said allowing Liz to stir me into the queue for security.

'You know she won't sleep a wink until she's heard from you,' whispered my dad when he leaned over to plant a quick kiss on my cheek. I could practically feel Liz and Sunny's impatience with my family who insisted on staying near the queue until we were behind the doors. My face burned as I caught sight of my parents waving from the barricade and shouting after me.

'Take care Gel!'

'Be safe,'

'Bring me lots of presents.'

Then at long last, the doors shut behind me and we were in the next set of queues for immigration.

As I handed the immigration officer my passport, I could hardly believe where I was. Just four weeks ago, I was writing a blog entry about wanting to go to South Korea. Then I get an e-mail from the organizer from Korea Tourism that I won an all-expenses paid trip to South Korea thanks to my blog 'Confessions of a K-pop Stan'. A blog that was supposed to just be a hobby which became more like a part time job. I travelled all around Europe and the Americas to attend K-pop events and concerts and then blog about them afterwards. Now, finally I get to do it in the country I have been dreaming about for years.

'Come on Gel!' yelled Liz from the other side of the immigration queues, her eyes glowing as she looked upon the inviting duty-free shops.

'Come on, let's get this over with so we can get on board,' sighed Sunny from beside me.

Liz immerged some 20 minutes later checking a long receipt while I looked around for the gate number guide.

'Where's our gate again?'

'Don't worry, I got it sorted,' said Liz whipping out her phone. She sent a number of texts and then waited with a satisfied smile on her face.

'What did you do?' I asked frowning slightly. I turned to Sunny who just shrugged.

'You'll see.'

And see we did. A long cart raced down the marbled floor and came to a halt in front of us.

'Are you Miss Beechwood-Howe?' the uniformed driver asked, and Liz stepped up.

'I'm Miss Beechwood-Howe,' she said brightly with an emphasis on 'I'm.'

'Your carriage awaits,' she said Sunny mockingly as we three made it on to the cart with no walls or doors. I held on to the bar in front of me like we were on a rollercoaster as the driver sped through the airport at top speed.

'How did she do that?' Sunny whispered in my ear from behind me.

'How does she ever?' I muttered in response.

Elizabeth Beechwood-Howe lived a charmed life Sunny, and I could only wonder about.

Thanks to her, we made it to the gate in next to no time, just as the staff was starting pre-boarding.

'Thanks Thomas!' said Liz kindly, reading the name on his tag.

'Anytime Miss,' he said, depositing our carryon bags before driving away.

'Now boarding our Premier First-Class customers,' said a voice over the loudspeaker. Liz perked up and gestured for us to follow her. 'Thank goodness I was able to cash in our coach tickets. Imagine flying coach internationally.'

'The horror,' said Sunny in mock indignation.

'You'll be thanking me when you're sleeping in your flatbed seat and not hunched over your tray table with some stranger leaning on your shoulder,' said Liz airily and Sunny and I exchanged equally grossed out faces.

The seats were better than we could have imagined, cream fully reclining seats with a built-in massage function, fluffy slippers, a fleece blanket and pillow, an eye mask for sleeping and a curtain we could draw for privacy.

'GXY's new comeback song will be out before we even land, so we gotta start streaming the moment we land,' says Liz with a fiery determination in her amber eyes.

'The airport should have Wi-Fi we can connect to when we land,' says Sunny knowledgeably.

'And just in case, I already have international data roaming on my phone and my iPad so I can stream on both.'

'I love you Liz,' I announce with a soft smile at my friend. This trip is going to be amazing, and I have the to two best people in the world to share this adventure with. I just hope it's everything I've been expecting.