A month would pass in what felt like the blink of an eye.
I couldn't complain much about the path my life was starting to take, at least for the most part. Seraphina and I started doing home school together, and sometimes we'd join Noah while we were doing it. We also really took to the curriculum that we'd been offered.
I particularly liked that I could choose the level of difficulty in my studies. Being an advanced student, I finally felt challenged. As weird as it might sound, I loved that. I loved being able to learn more and push my own limits in knowledge.
Along with this, I was also continuing to sneak out at night to visit with Lenore. Our friendship had definitely deepened during this time, and I was sure that we would eventually become a couple. That was my ultimate goal by now. I didn't care if I never learned more about her past or what she was. The only thing in the world I wanted was to call her mine.
The only real problem I was running into now were my nightmares. They were becoming more and more frequent, not to mention a lot more focused.
I was thinking about that as I sat at the table in the kitchen and tried to concentrate on my practice Calculus problems. To say it was distracting me would've been one hell of an understatement.
The nightmare replayed in vivid detail in my mind as I sat there, looking at the problems on that paper. It was like I was there again, even though I never wanted to be.
This dream always started out the same. I was standing on a sidewalk, facing an older looking two story house. A broken cobblestone walkway led up to the front door, and the house was flanked by large trees. The outside of it was an off white, proving that the elements were starting to wear on it, and the grass around it was getting high, almost overtaking those cobblestones now.
I walked to the front door slowly, taking in the faded red that it had been painted. The doorknob turned easily for me, opening up to a foyer and living room. It looked lived in, although all of the furniture looked older and the brown carpets were worn. An old box TV was on a stand near a couch and armchair, and there was an entryway towards the back of the room that looked like it led to the kitchen.
But the place that had my full attention was the nearby stairs. I stood at the bottom of them, warily looking up at the second floor. That was where this dream always turned into a nightmare, not to mention added to the scariest places I'd seen in my nightmares before.
There was no choice in this dream. If I wanted to wake up, I had to go up those stairs.
I always did it slowly, doing everything I could think of to prolong things enough to maybe wake up on my own. It was always a vain effort, but I still tried anyway. Anything to escape the one who was plaguing me here.
The last time I'd had this nightmare, I'd taken note of pictures lining the wall beside the stairs. I had the distinct sense that they were family photos, but most of them were blurred images to me. Well, all but one.
The one picture I could see clearly was of a woman. It looked like a high school portrait, and she appeared to be around fifteen or sixteen years old. She was a very pretty teenager, with long dark brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders and matching brown eyes.
I felt a chill go through me as I studied her. It had to be her, just in her better times. I was sure of it.
The upstairs of the house was quiet as I stood in the hallway. The familiar three doors were to my left. I avoided the first one, which was closed. I knew that it was the bathroom, and that was the room I hated second most.
I also wanted to avoid the door to the right side near it. Even from where it was partially open, I could see the writing marring all of the walls, and the mattress that was flung to the side. Yeah, that was the room I definitely hated most in this place. It felt evil to me, and I did my best to avoid it when I could.
There was one room that I hadn't really gone into before. That was the door that I'd walked up to in this last dream. I grasped the knob and took a deep breath, praying that this wasn't going to be another room of horror.
But when I swung it open, I'd been surprised by what I saw. This room looked like a girl's bedroom. There was a nice twin bed in there with a pink comforter on it, along with a desk and dressers. I stepped in there, looking around and wondering what this was. It didn't feel like the rest of the house. This room felt warm, inviting; like some kind of beautiful memory tucked away in all of the horror.
As I looked around me, I noticed a picture sitting on the nearby dresser. I walked over and picked it up. That was odd. It was a picture of a little girl, and she didn't look like the woman in the photo by the stairs. She was maybe nine or ten years old, very pretty with long blonde hair that curled at the ends.
My eyes widened in comprehension as I took in hers. This little girl had two different colored eyes. One was brown and the other was light blue. There was no doubt about it. This girl was my mother was a kid.
Now I was thoroughly confused. Why was there a picture of my mother as a little girl in this room? What the hell was all of this supposed to mean?
"Sevee?"
I was brought back to reality by the sound of my father's voice. I snapped to attention and saw Sean standing near me. He looked concerned as he regarded me.
"Are you okay? You've been staring at that paper for almost ten minutes." he informed me.
I quickly tried to pull myself together. No sense in worrying him. Things had been way too peaceful between us for that.
"Yeah... I'm good. Guess I'm just a little tired and spaced out." I answered, running a hand through my hair and sitting back. A long, tired breath escaped me as I did. Damned dreams were gonna be the death of me.
Sean sat down in the chair beside me, "You don't need to keep pushing yourself so hard. You're way ahead and we're getting ready to submit your portfolio, so you can ease up now." he reminded me.
"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to finish that last test, but I needed to get in some studying before it." I responded.
"I have to say that I have been impressed with how well you and Seraphina have done with this. It certainly looks like it was the better choice for both of you, although I do hope that you'll try to keep some friends too." Sean continued.
Nothing new there, but I understood his worries. Both Sean and Mia didn't want to see me and Seraphina feel like outsiders any more than we did at times. They knew it wasn't easy on us to be born as we were, not to mention be kids from a wealthy family.
"I'm sure we'll meet friends eventually. Maybe we'll even meet some from the other side. That wouldn't hurt anything, right?" I suggested.
"Well, not with most. But you should still be careful about such things. Not everything over there will be friendly." Sean responded.
"Yeah, I get that." I acknowledged.
I thought about looking for a way to ask him about Mia's past, and maybe see if there could be a connection to that house, but decided not to mention it. I'd never told them about these nightmares, and really didn't want to. Besides, I was trying to piece it together myself for now.
Another thing popped into my mind as I thought that. Sean seemed like he was in the mood to talk about things from the other side, so maybe now would be the right time to ask him about Astartes.
"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you about something I ran across the other day. You've been on the other side plenty of times, so maybe you know about it." I continued.
Sean looked interested, "Oh yeah? What is it?"
Here went nothing, "I was looking through some urban legends and folklore the other night, and I saw this one page that talked about something called an Astarte, but they didn't elaborate on what they were supposed to be. Are they some kind of spirituals beings or something?"
I saw Sean tense up a little when he heard the name, and wondered if I should've even said anything. But I couldn't take it back now.
"Well," Sean finally spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I'm incredibly surprised that any of those sites would ever mention an Astarte. I suppose that it could be somebody who's been digging into the old lore and happened across it, although I doubt they put anything about it in the right context."
I played it cool, hoping that he didn't suspect anything. It was obvious that he knew at least a little bit about them, and I wanted to hear what it was.
"I don't know. I ran across it once, but then I lost the page and couldn't find it again. But you make it sound like they're creatures that don't usually come to this side."
"It's a bit more than that." Sean sighed, crossing his arms, "I can't say that I know a whole lot about them either. I do know that my father mentioned them before in passing, and so did our friend Manake. He told me a little more about them about a year before I met your mother. They were an interesting subject that he thought about one day and wanted to share with me."
"Interesting subject huh? Sounds like they're rare." I noted.
"Rare would be an understatement. According to Manake, they're actually forbidden now."
"Forbidden?"
I wasn't expecting that one. Lenore's pretty figure flashed through my mind. Why would such a beautiful, sweet girl like her be forbidden?
"I know it sounds strange. I said the same thing. I'd never heard of a creature being forbidden until then. But Manake told me that it was because of how they were created. Astartes are usually female, and are created from the souls of a human who has committed suicide. The ones who call up those souls and turn them into Astartes are Foxes, although I don't know the exact reasons why. Manake also didn't really explain why they'd ended up being forbidden, although my best guess would be because their creation messes with the souls of the dead. Considering they were originally suicides, I'd imagine such a thing would cause a lot of headaches for where they are supposed to be placed." Sean explained.
Now some things were making a little more sense. No wonder Lenore didn't want to talk about her human life. She'd killed herself when she'd been human. She probably didn't want to ever look back on those awful memories.
But something else was slowly dawning on me too. Her distrust of Foxes when she'd first met me. She must've run away from another Fox. I immediately resolved to be extra careful in this now. The last thing I needed was a sudden confrontation with a full Fox, even if I refused to give up Lenore.
I did my best to act normal as I continued our conversation. I knew that I was treading thin ice in asking about any of this. Sean was good at reading between the lines.
"That's some heavy stuff. I never knew Foxes could even do stuff like that." I commented.
"It is an older art from what I know, and I'm not familiar with many of those. Only the older Foxes like Manake and your uncle Musket would be. But that said, it's also something to be wary of when it comes to different creatures from the other side and your association with them. While I would never call an Astarte bad, they can bring bad things with them if they were to exist again." Sean responded.
"Yeah, I totally get that one." I agreed. I stood up, stretching a little. I was hoping to rest some before sneaking away later to see Lenore, "Hey, I'm gonna get in a shower and call it a night. You don't mind, right?"
Sean nodded as he stood with me, a pleasant smile on his face.
"I understand, and I could use some rest myself. I'm a bit worn down from working and helping out Raziel with that remodeling. I'm glad we're finally done with it."
That reminded me about things with Noah. His wings were progressing some now, and I'd noticed the other day that his back was starting to become swollen.
But more than that, I'd overheard him get into an argument with Raziel right before Seraphina and I had left. I didn't know what it was about, but I'd never heard Noah sound so aggressive before. It didn't feel like the Noah I knew and had grown up with.
"Hey Dad," I said as I turned to him one more time, "is everything okay with Noah? It seems like him and Raziel are arguing a lot now."
Sean let out a long breath, "I know, and I don't know exactly what's been happening with all of that, but I'm sure they'll figure it out. Raziel and Anna have always been good at helping Noah as he needs it. I'm just hoping that Mia and I can do the same for you and your sister too."
That caught my attention. I'd never heard my dad talk like that before, and he really meant what he said. It made me feel a little bit guilty for what I was currently doing.
"You both do Dad. You do a lot for both of us, especially me, and I'm glad I can turn to you when I need help. I really mean that." I told him.
Sean patted my shoulder with a grateful smile, "I'm glad Sevee. I know it's not easy being what we are, and I hope you'll turn to me if you do need help."
I knew I should've been turning to him more. I kept thinking that as I headed upstairs to my room. Sean was a great dad. He understood me, and so did Mia. They never judged me no matter how stupidly stubborn I'd been. They always did their best to help me through whatever issues I had, including this recent one with school.
Yet I still couldn't quite resign myself to asking for any help. I was convinced that I could handle this stuff on my own.
After getting my clothes together, I headed into the bathroom and took a shower, then back to my room to lay down. It was only about ten, and I was hoping to maybe get in a quick catnap before going out to meet Lenore. That couldn't hurt anything. If I slept light enough, maybe I wouldn't end up dreaming.
A breeze had picked up as I laid there, rustling through the trees near our house. It was a serene sound to me, lulling me into a sleep state. My body and mind relaxed more and more, and before I knew it, I was drifting off.
I fell into the darkness of my mind before my eyes opened. Damn it. I was standing back in that house. This time though, I was in what I was almost certain had been my mother's bedroom. I looked around, trying my best to comprehend what was going on. I hadn't even realized at first that I'd fallen asleep.
But I was there, so that meant that I must have.
The picture was still on the dresser, and looking to my right, I noticed that someone had painted birds on the wall near the window. Under one of those birds were three initials.
M.L.R.
I was staring at this, my heartbeat quickening. This was even more proof that this room was supposed to be connected to my mother somehow. I knew her initials very well. MLR.
Mia Lenore Renaldi.
The sudden sound of a door slamming made me jump. I couldn't move from where I stood, my body starting to shake as cold fear welled up inside of me. This dream had never progressed like this before. What was going to happen now? Was something going to come after me?
I finally forced my body to move, walking over to the door so that I could peek out into the hallway. It was empty, just like before, but I could see that the bathroom door was now ajar. My heart started pounding. There was no choice. If I wanted to get myself to wake up, then I'd have to go in there.
The house remained eerily silent as I slowly made my way to that door. I drew in a breath before pushing it open, and I was greeted by the sight of the small bathroom. As always, it looked very clean. The ceramic and linoleum shined in the harsh florescent light that had been left on, and I swore I could detect the hint of a bleach smell in the air.
Yet there was also another smell overriding that. It was sharp, metallic, one that I would've known anywhere.
It was the smell of blood.
I was feeling a little sick to my stomach as I stood in front of the bathtub and looked at the closed shower curtain. I could see dark stains on the inside of the light floral print, and the bottom was jutted out like something was partially sticking out of the tub. I knew what that something was, but I also didn't have a choice but to see it again.
I grasped the curtain, closing my eyes and steadying myself. I could do this. All I had to do was look, then it would be the start of this nightmare ending. It always ended after I saw this and left the bathroom. So, I opened my eyes again, mentally counting to three, then pushed it to the side.
As I suspected, the body was in there. She looked the same as all of the other times I'd witnessed her. She was an older lady, wearing a dark housedress and with greying brown hair that had once been pulled into a bun. It was now heavily matted with blood where she'd been hit repeatedly in the back of her head, caving in that part of her skull. The hammer used to do it was in the tub beside her body, also covered in blood.
My stomach lurched, and I rushed out of the bathroom, stopping as I felt dry heaves choking my throat. I leaned over, placing my hands on my knees as I coughed and tried to force myself to wake up. Tears stung my eyes, and I felt desperation begin setting in. I didn't want to see this anymore. I wanted to wake up and see my family, see Lenore. I wanted freedom from all of this horror that plagued me.
"Fox..."
The hissing voice echoed softly in the silence, and my body intensely tensed up again. She was there. I didn't need to even hear her voice to know this. I could sense her terrifying presence with every fiber of my being.
I managed to stand up straight and forced myself to turn around. As I thought, she was standing at the end of the hallway, staring at me with her cold dead eyes through that mop of messy, dark hair. She was as horrifying as she'd always been. Her ripped-up blouse and skirt were bloody, and I could see the deep slashes in her arms and legs. Her jaw had also been ripped open from ear to ear, the lower part hanging limp over her neck.
Her head raised within an instant as we caught eyes. She brought up a hand towards me, and as she pointed, I could see that three of her fingers were missing.
"I won't forgive you!" she screeched.
I bolted up from my bed as I suddenly woke up. That voice still echoed in my ears, although the feeling of her being there was now gone. I breathed hard, pushing back my bangs as I frantically looked around my room.
"Just a dream." I kept telling myself, "It was just a dream. She's not here."
Once I finally got myself calmed down, I looked at my nearby desk clock. It was after midnight now. I grunted in frustration. I didn't want to stay in this house now. Not after that dream. I wanted to see my Lenore. I wanted her to comfort me and remind me that I had nothing to fear from my stupid nightmares.
I headed over to my door and listened, but heard nothing to say that anyone else was up. That was enough for me. I hastily packed my bag, then transformed and raced into the woods.
My pace didn't slow down at all as I sprinted through the trees. By the time I reached the house, my lungs were burning so badly that I could barely breathe. I collapsed in front of it, doing my best to catch my breath and slow my pounding heart. I hadn't even transformed back, but I didn't care. At least I was there.
Lenore slowly opened the door, her blue eyes wide with fear as she looked out at me. But she quickly realized that it wasn't just some errant Fox showing up there, and she hurried out to me.
"Sevee! Are you okay?!" she asked, sounding as panicked as she looked.
"I'm fine." I breathed, "Sorry, I just need a few minutes."
I rested my head in her lap, my soul beginning to feel at ease as she gently stroked my head and ears. Yes, this was what I needed after that nightmare. Lenore could always ease my fears.
"What happened Sevee? Was something chasing you?" she asked me.
"No. I just wanted to get here and see you. I couldn't stay there. Not after that nightmare." I confessed.
"You're still having nightmares?"
Yes, she knew a little bit about my nightmares. I had confided to her that I kept having them, even though I wouldn't tell her all the details.
I let out a long breath, keeping my eyes closed and concentrating on her touch.
"Yeah. I had a really bad one, and I needed to see you. Sorry for scaring you." I apologized.
Lenore giggled, "It's okay. I've been wondering what you looked like in this form, and I was right. You're a red fox."
"You could've just asked."
"It was more fun to guess and see if I was right."
I chuckled, finally getting up to face her. She certainly knew how to lighten my mood. But that pretty smile made my day too. I could spend eternity getting lost in it.
"Mind if I come inside like this to change back? It would be a little more comfortable than doing it in the woods." I requested.
"Sure. I don't mind." Lenore allowed.
I went into the house with her, heading upstairs to the room. Lenore waited in the hallway as I transformed back and got dressed. She was talking to me as she did.
"You're a little earlier tonight too. Was it really that bad of a nightmare?"
"Yeah. Well, they're all bad when they happen, but that one was more like a night terror." I confessed, slipping my shirt over my head and adjusting it.
Lenore came into the room as I did.
"I know you don't like to, but maybe you should talk to someone about that. It's obviously really bothering you if you can't sleep well, and if you even wake up that scared." she reasoned.
"I know, but it's not like it's easy to talk about that kind of stuff, especially when you're a guy." I responded.
I sat down on the side of her bed. It was definitely a lot better than it had been when we'd first met. I'd managed to fix up her mattress using my abilities, making sure that she had a comfortable place to sleep. I'd also used those same transformative abilities to fix the windows in that room so that she could open and close them, and not have air or rain leak in.
Lenore sat down beside me, a knowing smile on her face.
"Playing macho again?" she teased.
"You expect any less?" I teased back.
"Not really." she relented. She sat back a little, "But seriously Sevee, you shouldn't have to suffer with all of that. I'd listen if you wanted to talk."
"I know you would. It's just not that easy to talk about that stuff."
I laid back on the bed, looking at the cracked ceiling. At least I was feeling more relaxed now.
Lenore leaned over me, her long white hair tickling my face, "I get that, and I wouldn't force you to talk about it. Maybe you should just stay here and relax for a while." she suggested.
"Is that an invitation?"
I reached up and ran my fingers over her face. Her skin was so soft. Seriously, everything about her was alluring to me.
Lenore giggled, "It can be, if that's what you'd like."
Yeah, we'd been flirting like this for a while now. I had no doubt that she liked me as much as I liked her. I'd been very tempted to see how far I could push things with her, but kept doing my best to play it cool. I also didn't like the idea of her knowing how much she really affected me.
She laid down beside me so that we could keep facing each other. There was a comfort in that room as we did. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. The thought briefly crossed my mind that this was what love felt like. Could I love her already?
I wasn't sure. I'd never experienced being in love before.
I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, deciding that it might be better to tell her more about my nightmares now. Maybe she could offer me some insight I hadn't thought of before.
"Hey Lenore, do you think my nightmares could mean something?"
"I guess it depends on what they're about. Do you remember?" Lenore responded.
I took a minute to think about how to answer her, "Well, mostly. Lately, it's been like I've been having the same one over and over, every time I sleep. It's weird too. I feel like there's more to it than I can understand, but I can't figure out exactly what it is."
"Really? What happens in it?" Lenore probed.
"Like I said, it's both terrifying and weird." I sighed, moving a little closer to her and stroking my fingers through her hair, "I keep seeing this same house, but I know I've never seen it outside of my dreams. I always end up going inside, and it's like someone's been living there. I go up to the second floor, and there's pictures hanging on the wall beside the stairs. I can't tell what any of them are except for one that looks like this school picture of this teenage girl, but I don't know who she is."
"That is strange. You're sure you've never seen this girl or this house before?" Lenore verified.
"Never that I can remember. But it gets weirder too. Like I said, I always end up heading upstairs, and there's three rooms up there. One of them is a bathroom, and the other two are like bedrooms. One of the bedrooms is like something out of a horror movie or what you'd expect to see in an old insane asylum. There's only a mattress and blanket in there, and they've been thrown around, and there's writing all over the walls from top to bottom." I continued.
"That does sound like a horror movie." Lenore agreed, "So, what's in the other room? Have you been able to see?"
"Yeah, and this is where it really strange for me. The other room doesn't feel scary like that one at all. It's like it's a young girl's room. There's birds painted on one of the walls, and I saw a picture in there. The thing is, the picture is a little girl, and she looks just like my mom."
"Your mom?"
"Weird, right? Why would I be dreaming of that other room, then a little girl's room that could be my mother's?"
Lenore took a minute to think it over before offering her opinion, "I'm not sure. I guess looking at it from a psychology perspective, maybe you feel guilty over something with your mom, or maybe you feel like you don't know her that well, or something like that."
I took her words into consideration. No, it wasn't like I wasn't close to Mia. I loved my mother very much, and I'd always felt close to her. She was such a sweet and kind mom, and she always did her best for me and Seraphina. Yeah, I did feel guilty over some of the stuff I put her through before, but it wasn't like it strained our relationship or anything.
But now that Lenore mentioned it, I had to admit that I didn't know a whole lot about the time that she was growing up. I knew little things, like that her parents had been separated and that she'd ended up living with Michael at sixteen. She'd lived in Miami with her mother before that.
But she didn't talk about her childhood there, and I'd never met my other grandmother. Come to think of it, no one really talked about her. Seraphina and I just didn't bother asking more because we hadn't thought much of it. We'd always known Sara. She was our grandma as far as we'd been concerned.
Lenore's voice brought me back to reality.
"You okay Sevee?"
"Yeah, I'm good." I assured her, "But you might have a point with some of that. I don't really know a whole lot about my mom's childhood, even though we've always been close. Her and my grandfather don't talk about that stuff much."
"Then that could play into some of it. Maybe you're unconsciously worrying about something with it because you don't know all of it." Lenore surmised.
"Maybe, but there's more to these nightmares too that doesn't fit into that." I admitted.
"What else is there?" Lenore inquired.
I steadied myself internally before telling her about the worst parts.
"This part is where the real nightmare kicks in. Remember I told you that there's a bathroom up there? Well, the dream always brings me to that bathroom, and when I pull back the curtain to the bathtub, there's a dead woman in there."
Lenore looked startled, "Is it the girl you saw in the picture on the stairway?"
"No." I shook my head, "This woman's much older, like maybe in her sixties. She's always wearing this dark housedress, and her hair's greying. It's she's also been killed in there. The back of her head's been bashed in, and there's a hammer laid in the tub beside her. I always run out of there, and right after I get to the hall, this other woman appears. She's obviously dead, and she's been mutilated. But she always stands in the hallway and points at me, and she always calls me Fox."
The room went silent as I finished. Lenore looked very conflicted now as she thought over my words before finally speaking.
"That's beyond terrifying Sevee, and it doesn't sound like just a nightmare. I know this is gonna sound out there, but it almost sounds like you're being haunted."
Her words sent a shiver up my spine, not because they were scary, but because I had this strange sense that she was right. What if it wasn't just nightmares? What if it kept reoccurring because this woman was haunting me for whatever reason?
But I still did my best to play if off. I didn't want to worry her too much, and I'd already said enough.
"I don't know about that. It doesn't make much sense for this woman to haunt me ever since I was a little kid, especially when you think about my family. Maybe you're right and it is all some weird psychological thing that I have going on. But seriously, I feel better now that I've been able to talk to you about it. Who knows? Maybe the dreams will start going away now." I suggested.
Lenore didn't seem to buy it, but still played along.
"Maybe. But at least keep talking to me about it. Hopefully I can help you feel better."
A grin crossed my face, "I know what would help me feel better right now."
"Hmm?"
"I haven't been able to feel what it's like to kiss you yet."
Lenore giggled, moving closer to me, "I could go for that, and maybe I could one up you too." she teased.
"Depends on what you're offering."
I could feel my heart beating a little harder, but did my best to keep it in check. I was too stubborn to admit to her how excited I suddenly felt.
Lenore giggled again, moving to lay over me. That first feel of her lips on mine was like heaven, and my eyes fluttered closed as the kiss continued. I loved everything about this now, feeling like every fiber of my being had awakened to a longing I'd never known before. I wanted her so badly. I needed her, every part of her.
"We have plenty of time, and I was peeking in on you while you were changing. You're a really cute guy. I'd love to feel what it's like to have your body against mine." she whispered in my ear.
I somehow managed to keep my composure even as the instant arousal hit me.
"You do know you can't tease about that, and I'm not looking to chance being a dad this young." I whispered back.
"No need to worry about that. I am an Astarte, so that's not something we need to think about. You can enjoy having me however you like." she assured me.
I didn't need any more convincing as I kissed her again. At least this would take my mind completely away from my nightmares. Besides, I didn't need anything else now. I had her, and I was certain that I always would.