Kevin came down the stairs to the bottom floor of the Inn with a loud yawn and a stretch of his arms. Contrary to expectations, he'd had a great night's sleep. One would assume that sleeping curled up in a backpack would be uncomfortable, but his Eevee form made it surprisingly cozy.
Alice followed shortly after, once again disguised as a human. Her night had been just as peaceful as the Eevee's, and much better than the one before where she'd slept wrapped around a tree. There was just something about sleeping in a bed that could fit her enormous snake half that had her waking up refreshed and ready for the day.
"Good morning!" the owner called out to them from behind the front counter. "It sounded like you two had fun last night."
Both of the travelers gave her a look of confusion. "Uh…we didn't do anything after you left except talk and then go to bed," Kevin stated.
The woman's expression morphed to one of disappointment. "Darn, I was hoping my guess would be correct," she sighed. "Usually when a couple stays for the night, I can get some pretty interesting reactions out of them in the morning."
Kevin shook his head. "That's probably where you went wrong with the assumption. We aren't a couple. I'm an unwilling adventurer, and she is the animal companion that won't stop following me around."
Said 'animal companion' glared at him. "You do know that I can kill you at any moment, right?"
Instead of addressing her, he casually stated, "How could I forget, she's also rabid."
The owner laughed out loud at the byplay. "Well, either way it's great to see young people going out on adventures these days," she grinned. "By the way, I noticed that you still have those ears and tail from yesterday. Are you one of those cosplayers that likes to pretend to be a monster?"
Alice and Kevin were surprised by this question for different reasons. For the lamia, it was because the teenagers had been correct in his assumption that everyone would think his additional parts were just accessories. As for Kevin, he wondered how the word 'cosplay' even existed in this backwards medieval world in the first place.
Decided to roll with it, the boy nodded. "Yeah. I think they make me stand out, don't you?"
"I'll admit, it's the first time I've ever seen a male wearing such accessories," the owner admitted. "But I won't judge you."
With that said, the duo left the Inn.
After a few seconds of walking, Kevin spoke up. "Any further doubts about people not thinking I'm a monster?"
"You win this time," Alice conceded…for now.
The next hour or so was spent walking around the city and buying supplies for when they would leave. While the previous day the two of them had foregone talking with any of the locals in their pursuit of locating the Sutherland Inn, today they were stopped by random people every few minutes who recognized them as the ones who had saved the city.
"I really thought I was going to die! 'Four Heavenly Knights' Indeed…she was insanely powerful. She actually stared right at me once…and I wet my pants," a young man said.
Another man was grumbling. "Monsters these days are doing as they please. At this rate, will humanity be destroyed?"
"Granberia was probably going to use this city as a bridgehead to attack the Ilias Temple to the South," a soldier speculated. "Is the Temple a threat to the monsters?"
Something told Kevin that these were NPC's in the game this world was based off of, and that even if he tried his hardest to avoid their scripted dialog, the Being would force him to stay and listen. So, he trudged on without saying a word to any of them.
That is, until a prostitute came up to him.
"Ara, the Hero who saved the city. You look weak, but you were still able to drive her off," she purred. "Fufu…I'll give you a special discount."
In response, he stared her dead in the eye with his blank stare. "Touch me and I make sure that everything you consume for the rest of your life will have bones in it."
"…what?"
"Eating chicken? Bones. Biting into an apple? Bones. Buttering a biscuit? Bones. Drinking lemonade? Bones. There is no limit to what I will or won't add bones to in order to make you suffer."
Needless to say, the prostitute backed away very quickly.
That encounter proved to Alice that he must have some problem with physical intimacy. It relieved her a bit to know that it wasn't because she was a monster, as that meant that she might be able to get some semen from him in the future. Unfortunately, that also meant that his reaction to any monster who was even somewhat successful in having their way with him would likely be…visceral.
They ignored the armor and weapons shops, as neither of them saw the need for either. One of them was the Monster Lord, and the other was a Four-Spirits level elemental powerhouse, after all. Anything that could hurt either of them fatally would likely tear through even the most expensive equipment they could buy there.
Since Alice was the only one with money, she paid for the additional camping gear they would need, along with the food she already promised to purchase. Although, they didn't really need much; just a tent, some climbing gear, and a map of the continent. Oh, and also a guide book, since they discovered that the one Alice was holding was over five hundred years old, and likely out of date in many aspects.
It was as they were preparing to leave the city that the…abomination appeared.
"Fufufu…I found you! My only Hero!"
When the duo turned around, they were met with a sight that made Kevin visibly cringe. It appeared to be a woman in only a pair of black underwear. From the waist down, she appeared to be normal, but it was what was above her navel that made her disturbing. Instead of an upper torso, there was just a large, green scaled snake head with yellow eyes. She didn't even have arms due to the unfortunate placement of her giant head.
"My name is Amira," she proclaimed dramatically. "You stole my heart."
There was nothing but silence from the duo as they stared at her.
"You filled me with love and courage. Ah, my sweet heart…an unbreakable dream."
More silence hung in the air, before Kevin turned to his companion. "Alice."
"Yes, Kevin?"
"I have three questions."
"Go ahead.'
"What is this thing, why does it exist, and can I kill it?"
Alice seemed to seriously consider all of his questions, especially the last one, before replying. "Believe it or not, this is a Lamia. The way it was explained to me is that one in every few million monsters are born different. Sometimes they're stronger than others of the species, other times they are far weaker. Then there are the really rare ones that are born 'backwards,' so to speak. As for whether or not you can kill her…give me a few minutes to decide."
Amira let out a sigh of disappointment. "Even you are discriminating against me. Everyone else does, too. Everyone throws stones at me….nobody will get close to me. Not wanted by anyone…such sadness."
If she was fishing for sympathy, then she found the wrong two people for it. In fact, Kevin was considering what form would be best for putting her down, while Alice was leaning more and more toward letting him do it by the second.
It didn't help the unfortunate lamia's case when people started calling out to her.
"Hey! Amira! I made too much miso soup for lunch! Come by later and have some!"
"Oh, Amira! There are some rats in my warehouse. Would you mind helping me get rid of them?"
The stares of the overpowered duo intensified.
"…"
"…"
"You know what, Kevin? Go ahead," Alice nodded. This was one monster she wouldn't mind disappearing.
Before the Eevee could think of a good way to kill her, Amira cut in again. "Well, putting my situation aside, I came to profess more than just my love for you."
Kevin tilted his head. "You seem very calm for someone seconds away from becoming a corpse."
"You can't kill me," the unfortunate lamia said, as if she were stating an immutable fact. "Even the Author has to admit that I am an important expositional character, both in the original game and in this fan-fiction."
…I admit to nothing.
"Are…are you one of those NPC's that is self-aware breaks the fourth wall?" Kevin asked, hoping he was wrong.
"Yep!"
'Damnit!' the teenager internally cursed. 'If I remember correctly, these types of characters are impossible to kill until they've served their purpose of providing exposition, and are usually present in every major city throughout the game.'
"hah, fuck it," he sighed. "Just give whatever exposition you're here for and go away."
Amira smiled in a way that looked unnatural on her snake head. "Recently, a band of monster thieves have been rampaging around. Having fellow monsters do such a thing…it pains my heart."
"Sure, it does," Kevin cut in sarcastically.
"Everyone else in the town is troubled, too," she continued without missing a beat. "Even though my appearance has quite the impact…my attacks don't"
"Real shocker, there."
"Could you do something in my stead?"
Kevin sighed again. "Fine. If it will get you to go away, we'll handle it. Where are they?"
"I don't know their exact location, but they're usually to the west at the base of the mountain range. Be careful, though. My information network says that there is a vampire and a dragon among them!"
Alice was intrigued. Dragons and vampires were at the top of the food chain when it came to monsters in strength and magical power, respectively. She didn't remember hearing any reports of them coming down to Ilias Continent recently, but that could just be because she liked to ignore any official reports that weren't marked high-priority.
"Alright, let's go Alice," Kevin said, turning around and walking away. "The sooner we do this, the sooner we can move on to things that actually matter."
Amira swooned dramatically. "Ahhh, just as I expected from my darling! I love you. I'll wait for the good news!" She then crawled away on the ground.
"I really should have killed her," the teen groaned.
"Agreed," the Monster Lord nodded.
***
Shortly after leaving the city, Alice reverted back to her lamia form. It was much more comfortable for her to have her horns and tail out in the open, after all, and it wasn't like they needed to worry about passersby. As stated before, nobody on this continent could stand up to her.
"By the way, I wanted to give you something," she said to Kevin.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "A gift? From you? I didn't think the world was already ending."
"It isn't a gift, you idiot," the lamia rolled her eyes. "And saying that I'm 'giving' it to you was also a bit of a stretch. If anything, it's more like I'm letting you borrow it for the foreseeable future."
With that said, she reached into her cleavage/dimensional pocket and pulled out something that somehow looked even more disturbing than Amira. It had the general shape of a sword, but by Arceus was it fucked up. It was mostly grey, with a few blood-red gems that looked like eyes imbedded into it. What made it uglier were the miniature carvings of what looked like angels being forcefully fused together against their will, some of them even having expression of horror or pain.
After keeping himself from vomiting up his breakfast, Kevin turned his gaze from the 'sword' to the woman offering it to him. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine with keeping how fucked up I am on the inside. I don't need a weapon that displays it to the whole world."
Alice huffed. "This is Angel Halo, the only sword of its kind in the world."
"I can see why. Whoever made it is obviously a terrorist who enjoys watching people squirm," Kevin commented.
"It was refined from 666 melted angels by the first fallen angel, so you might not be wrong," the Monster Lord nodded. As if the prove her point, the blade let out a pained moan. "I want you to keep this on you from now on."
"Alice," the boy began, his expression showing just how unimpressed he was by the idea. "I hope you have a very good reason for me to do so; otherwise, not gonna lie, I'm going to shift into my strongest form and launch this thing into space."
"I was getting to that, but you keep interrupting me," she growled. "Because the angels' grudges are hammered into the sword, it holds their curse. It eats away the magic of whatever it slashes, making it hard for the opponent to maintain their form. Even just having it on you will extend that power to all of your attacks."
"Okay, that's sounding useful," Kevin nodded. "But what's the point?"
"The point is that any creature you battle while holding it, no matter how badly you burn, cut, freeze, or mutilate them, they won't die. They'll just be sealed away in a more harmless form," Alice concluded. "In essence, I don't want you murdering or physically scarring my cute subjects left and right. This will make it so the most they will receive is psychological trauma."
Kevin thought hard about it. On one hand, it was a hideous affront to nature and all gods in existence. On the other hand, he'd be able to let loose more often and not have to worry about being hunted down by the family members of whatever monsters annoyed him enough for him to kill them. Sure, he could just keep killing until there was nobody left to try taking revenge anymore, but that seemed like a lot of hassle.
"Alright, I hold onto it," he agreed, reaching out and taking the handle.
Unexpectedly, the moment the cold metal touched his hand, the voice of the system sounded out in his ears with a notification.
[Attention Host: three Pure Energy Types have been detected within the object the Host is currently holding. The Host is only in possession of one of these Types. Would the host like to assimilate the energy into himself to unlock two new evolutions?]
Kevin was sent mentally reeling. 'I can unlock new evolutions just by holding a magical object?'
[Correct. If the Eeveelution System detects energy corresponding to an Energy Type that the Host has not unlocked yet in an object, environment, or living being the Host is in contact with, the System will request assimilation.]
'What Types are stored in Angel Halo?' he asked, taking a closer look at the blade.
[Due to the materials that compose the sword and the methods used to forge it, the System is capable of detecting pure energies corresponding to Psychic, Ghost, and Steel Type pokemon.]
'Another question: I thought things in this world would only be classified under two Types by you, not three.'
[Only enemies are restricted to two Type classifications. Artifacts and weapons have no limit.]
The teenager hummed. 'What will happen to the sword if I agree to the assimilation?'
[The blade will be deconstructed, and its properties outside of the Energy Types will be added to the Eeveelution System. This includes the ability to choose between sealing an enemy with your attacks, or not and simply killing them.]
It didn't take long for him to come to a decision. 'That sounds agreeable. Alright, System. Assimilate the Angel Halo.'
[Commencing Assimilation]
To Alice, what happened next came out of nowhere. After handing Kevin the most powerful weapon in her family's possession, he just stared at it for a few minutes, with his face going through a few muted expressions. Then, just as she was about to ask him what he was doing, the cursed sword suddenly started emitting light. It grew brighter and brighter until it was comparable to the sun, before seeming to disintegrate into particles that flowed into Kevin's chest.
"What…in the name of the First…just happened," the lamia mumbled, staring at him in shock.
"I think…I just absorbed it," the Eevee replied, more shocked by the visual effects than absorption itself.
[Congratulations! The Assimilation of the weapon Angel Halo was a success!]
[New Setting added: Seal Enemies]
[New Evolutions Added: Spookeon and Galveon]
…the names of the evolutions couldn't make their Types more obvious.
"Do you…still have it's powers?" Alice asked curiously. She knew she should be furious that such a powerful family heirloom had been absorbed by her travel companion, but she was more curious about what changes it would bring about in him.
"Yeah," he replied, mentally signaling for the System to navigate to the Settings and turn on the Seal Enemies function. "I think I also unlocked two new forms."
"Unlocked?"
"You know how I told you that normal Eevees can only evolve into eight forms, and that I have seventeen?" he asked, receiving a nod. "Well, from the start I've had access to those original eight transformations, but I have to unlock the other nine. It seems that the energy stored in Angel Halo was enough for me to unlock two of them."
Alice looked even more curious now. "Which ones?"
"The Steel and Ghost ones."
The lamia froze, a hint of fear slipping into her expression. "Did…did you just say ghost?"
"…Yeah. Why? Are you afraid of ghosts?"
"Of course not!" she shouted in denial that couldn't have been more obvious. "Why would I be afraid of something as unscientific as ghosts? They don't exist, anyway. Even if they did, there's no reason for anyone to have the totally-rational fear of them in the first place."
"…"
"…"
'She's totally afraid of ghosts,' Kevin thought with a smirk.
He was about to push the matter further, when Alice seemed to perk up, then vanish into thin air. Kevin had enough pattern recognition to see where this was going.
Seconds later, like clockwork, the ground began to shake. It didn't take long for a monster to pop out of the dirt a few yards away, and it wasn't one of the attractive ones. She had a human head with dark chin length hair, and enough upper torso to have a pair of breasts, but that's where the resemblance with a normal female ended. There were no arms attached to her shoulders, and starting below her breasts there was the long body of a giant earthworm.
[Earthworm Girl]
[Type: Bug]
"Oh, a traveler," the disgusting creature said with a grin. "Can you let me wring some semen out of you?"
Instead of answering, Kevin just stared at her. 'Is today just the day of abominations?' he asked himself. 'First Amira, then Angel Halo, and now this thing? What's next, an unholy amalgamation of sea life with a woman's face?'
***
Poseidoness, the Queen of the Norther Sea, suddenly sneezed. "Oh? Is someone talking about me?"
***
The earthworm girl was getting a little unnerved by the intensity with which the boy was staring at her. Now that she took a closer look at him, though, it appeared that he seemed to be giving off a scent that was both human and monster at the same time. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't smart enough to but the pieces together and realize that he might be able to fight back.
"Why are you?"
His sudden question shook out of her daze. "I'm an Earthworm Girl, boy, and I'm here to harvest your semen."
"That is not what I asked," he deadpanned. "Why do you exist? Why hasn't someone put you out of all of our misery yet? Seriously, I've seen three ugly things today, and you are number two on that list. Just above the backwards lamia, but way below the tortured angel blade."
What possibly hurt the monster girl most about his words was that they were all delivered in the most serious tone of voice, as if he were stating immutable facts. She knew that her body wasn't as attractive as some of the other monsters she'd met, but that was going a little too far.
A wordless show of anger and frustration escaped her as she launched herself at him, intending to wrap herself around him and make him orgasm to death. That would be a fitting punishment for making fun of her body.
Kevin momentarily considered evolving into Flareon, but one of the aspects of the system came to mind. After he took that form yesterday, he should now not only have one fourth of the total fire control he had in it, he should also have [Sizzly Slide].
[Sizzly Slide – Fire Type Move]
[Description: The user cloaks themselves in fire and charges at the target. This also leaves the target with a burn]
He didn't need any more incentive to mentally activate it and move forward to meet the Worm girl head on. She only noticed that he was suddenly on fire at the last second, but was too late to stop herself as she proceeded to coil her body around him.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" she screamed in pain, her entire body writhing at it was covered in burns.
This wasn't the end of the smackdown, though. Not only was Kevin taking revenge on her for thinking she could rape him, but also venting the frustration he had at not being able to kill Amira earlier. So, as the fire disappeared from his body, he summoned the other two energies he had access to in this form.
With his left hand, he used Grass-Type energy to summon a braided whip made from vines; with his right, he flexed the recently-awakened Ice-Type energy to craft a dagger. Weapons in hand, he proceeded to beat the hell out of the poor worm girl.
For the girl herself, the next ten minutes were nothing but pain. She was stabbed, kicked, whipped (which surprisingly didn't hurt as much as she thought it would), and overall beaten down to the point where by the end, she was curling in on herself.
What Kevin noticed, in between his bouts of frustrated abuse, was that none of the wounds he was opening were bleeding. Instead, they were leaking a dark energy that dissipated after going a few inches away from the monster's body. He assumed that this must be the energy that made her more powerful than the average human, and that once it was all gone, she would be sealed.
True to his expectations, one final stab in her back was enough to make her burst into dark energy. A moment later, there was only a normal-sized earthworm writhing around on the ground. Shortly after realizing that she was free from the psychopath torturing her, she burrowed into the ground and swore to never attack children ever again.
They were scary creatures.
"Once again," Alice groaned in exasperation after reappearing behind Kevin. "I find myself torn between congratulating you on the win, and wondering why I'm letting you within a thousand feet of any monster."
He looked at her and tilted his head to the side. "There is a bright side, though. It looks like Angel Halo's curse still works after I absorbed it. Nothing I kill with my powers will actually die."
Remembering the way he was attacking the defenseless worm girl, Alice frowned slightly. "Something tells me anyone you seal in the future will wish they were dead with the mental scars you will give them."
'Eh," Kevin shrugged, turning to continue their walk to the western mountains. "I won't always be like that. That beatdown was mostly me working through not being able to kill Amira."
"…I understand now, and will reserve my judgement for the future."
***
Author's Note: I want to credit the name, and future design, of Galveon, as well as the name of Spookeon to Inprogresspokemon over on Tumblr