Maybe he was right about taking my phone from me. I think about that, even though I've been hating him for doing exactly that in the past hour that we've been on this plane on our way to Chicago. Because right now, I'm having second thoughts about going through with this plan.
Just weeks ago, I was so adamant about not marrying Mariano and even giving my family gripe about not reversing the marriage order fast enough—though, of course, I already knew they've been doing everything they can so they won't have to hand me over to the Morellis.
But the joke is on me because here I am, on my way to do exactly what my family has been trying to stop from happening in the first place, marrying a Morelli.
The plane shakes under my seat and the pilot announces to buckle up because we're plummeting towards inevitable doom… No, he doesn't actually say that. I just feel that way.
I sigh. We are having a bit of turbulence and we're advised to strap our safety belts and wait for it to pass. If it were true, though… If we were going to crash, I don't think it would be that bad. Because Jino will be right there waiting for me if it happens. And I'll fall fast and dive into his arms.
The thought of him causes my chest to tighten and I have to squeeze my eyes shut because I don't want to cry right now. Not when Mariano is just right across the aisle from me. I don't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me broken.
Moments later, the fasten seatbelt sign turns off. I unbuckle mine and shoot up from my seat, ignoring his curious eyes as I head towards the bathroom. He doesn't think I'd escape, does he? Where the hell would I go? It's not like I can jump out of the plane—although that was something I've thought of not long ago while thinking about Jino.
I know… I'm not in my right state of mind right now. I shouldn't have these thoughts about dying, but whenever my mind goes to the man lying on that cold table in the morgue, the darkness swirls around me and I can't help but lean on it. I wouldn't think twice about trading places with him if I were given a choice. I'd do that for the people I love.
Splashing cold water on my face, I reach for the rolled towel on the counter and pat my face dry. My gaze lands on the shower at the corner and I contemplate taking one, feeling the sweat from earlier have dried on me and I just need to cool down. But I don't even have any fresh clothes to change into. And I'm not going to wear dirty clothes right after showering myself clean. That's just gross and pointless. I'm not that desperate yet.
Whatever. It's not like I need to impress my future husband. In any case, I should be doing everything I can so he'd want to stay away from me. This "marriage" we're about to dive into is nothing but a sham, anyway. A business transaction and nothing more. So nothing can happen between us. I can be as dirty as I can for all I care. So what? If he thinks I'm disgusting, then he'll want to stay away.
I sigh again, tossing the towel onto the counter and heading out the door. I'm officially insane for even considering Mariano would take interest in me. He's done nothing but annoy and irritate me since I've known about his real identity.
I grimace at the memory of me being kidnapped after they tried to assassinate my brother a few months ago. They threw me into what looked like a dungeon where I first met Mariano who was already in the cell next to mine. I've heard of his name, but since I've never actually seen his face, I fell for his lie when he told me a different name. How could I have known he was a Morelli? Who would imprison their own family member anyway?
When I thought he was just another captive, I actually thought he was a nice person. Of course, all the notion about him was thrown out of the window as soon as I found out who he was on Christmas Eve last month when I met him outside of my uncle's nightclub, wearing a custom-tailored suit and looking every bit the Morelli that he is and all the dirt and blood on his face was gone.
Ever since then, whenever he contacted me, he acted so cocky, arrogant, and holier-than-thou, making me wish I shouldn't have met that man in the cell. Because that guy back then? He was way different. Someone who made my short stay there bearable.
Meanwhile, this person…The man I'm now sitting across the aisle from… I'd like to throw him out of the plane for having this much power over me. I hate that marrying him is the only way to save my family.
If I had chosen not to accept his deal just like I did the last time, and even if I'd warned my family about their planned attack, my family would be forced into a war. I'm not sure we can survive, considering we already lost people around the time I was kidnapped. They were family.
Now, Jino died too and I can't help but think it's still my fault because I hadn't accepted Mariano's offer. I could've stopped it and that will always be in my conscience. So if this is the only thing I can do to help, I'd gladly take it. I've already lost many people in my life. I don't think I can take it if I lose more.