Why was she always this hurt? Why couldn't her life just be like everyone else's story?
She choked up as her eyes burned with unshed tears.
Tears rolled down her cheek, the memories of her mother came rushing in
"Anna just bear with it for now, nothing lasts forever"
"Anna don't lose faith, don't lose hope"
"You will walk again I assure you!"
"I will always be here for you, I promise"
Anna's tears fell freely thinking about the empty promises her mother had given. Those promises…she didn't keep them. Memories of her mother's death haunted her every single day, her identifying the body…the burial, her last letter. Her mother had committed suicide, thrown herself in a river just to escape a life with her handicapped daughter.
Anna clenched the sheets, ''You promised to be here, why?, why have you left?, leaving me to face all of this alone.
I can't do it, I miss you.....I really do''
She was left all alone, no body to comfort her, no body to love her…how could she be happy with no one by her side? With no one on her side.
Anna said in a low voice, she ended up crying her self to sleep.
....
The next morning, the mansion was more lively than usual, the cooks were making their best specialties, the maids were cleaning the guest rooms, making sure everything was in check, they were all very careful, mistakes couldn't be made, not when madam Lu herself had given the orders.
Anna wheeled to the garden and did the only chore she could do at the moment, watering plants.
The gardener gave her a warm smile and handed her the watering can, Anna retuned his smile and began tending to the plants. She invested her time into these plants because she wanted them to bloom…the way she knew she wouldn't, she wanted to be beautiful unlike her….
She only enjoyed doing this, it helped her to calm her mind but most almost every part of her day is spent in the piano room.
"They say the Duans are coming for dinner tonight and are staying for a week!" Janet said all smiles
Anna was taken aback, a week?, there was definitely something going on.....
"Actually, Madam Clara says the General's sons have been engaged to her daughters since from birth and this is their first official meeting" Janet sounded excited, it was the first time since she started working here that something this interesting was happening.
"Oh" Anna answered half heartedly, she was kind of happy, if her sisters got married they could finally leave her alone and she would be left with only madam Clara to deal with. Even though that was even much worse than dealing with both sisters.
"Young miss don't worry, you're only nineteen years old, there will still be many chances for you to find a husband too" Janet said thinking that Anna's silence meant she was jealous. Anna was not jealous, if anything she was excited and secretly hoping that everything would work out just so she wouldn't have to see her sisters anymore.
"Hmm....I doubt if anyone would ever fall for me not to even talk of marriage...let's go, don't bother your head with such thoughts" Anna laughed, it was funny to her to be honest.
She wasn't as pretty as her sisters or Janet, she wasn't blessed with smarts like other girls her age…she had no hope, no purpose.
Anna wheeled away leaving Janet with tears in her eyes, she really wanted her young miss to be happy.
Anna went into the piano room, shutting her self off from the world, she placed her fingers on the black and white key and played....she poured out her emotions through the sounds of her own tunes. This was the only way she could breathe deeply in this house. Everything and everywhere suffocated her.
...
"We're moving to S City, I heard the beaches and the view there is to die for" Nathan patted his daughter's head as he spoke, she smiled in excitement and turned to her mother on the other side of the table, it was obvious she wasn't as excited as her husband and daughter.
"Again?" Sholana glared at Nathan, something was going on with him, she knew something was up, yet he wouldn't tell her, instead he chose to be quiet about it and make them move almost everyday now. The food on the table had gone cold and the atmosphere had become so tense that even Ella could feel it.
"We've only been here three months Nathan, what is up with you recently…did you offend someone you weren't supposed to? Is that why we've been moving like crazy this past year?" Sholana asks, her frustration evident in her voice.
Nathan sighs, he knew he couldn't tell his wife the real reason behind their constant move. He didn't want to scare her, he didn't want her to feel unsafe with him.
"But mommy, moving is fun!" Ella said as she jumped happily in her seat.
"I know honey, but not the way we're doing it" after finishing her sentence, Sholana didn't forget to send a glare at Nathan one last time before getting up and leaving the dining room. She knew she could not stay mad at him for long but she would hold on to this anger for as long as possible maybe then he would crack and finally tell her what he has been keeping from her. She walked to the room and stood by the window getting lost in her thoughts.
Nathan stared at the retreating back of his wife and then let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He buried his face in palms and groaned in frustration.
But he couldn't keep it from her forever. This problem was really making everything fall apart, just like his father had said when he promised to find Nathan and kill him for what he had done.
"Daddy, do you have a headache?"
"No honey, I'm just tired" Nathan stared at his five-year-old daughter, this was not the life he wanted for her or for his wife, it was not the life he promised them but…he knew he did wrong by not telling her about his past before marrying her, theirs was an arranged marriage but the love came suddenly. He got to know her, not just the woman he married for business but the real Sholana behind all those dark suits and cold façade.
"Don't fight with mommy…I hate it when you fight"
Nathan's brows furrowed as he listened to his daughter's words, was it so obvious that even a five-year-old could see it.
He pulled her in for a hug and kissed her forehead affectionately. "We aren't fighting…everything will be back to normal soon I promise" Nathan made the promise to himself too as well, he would fix this problem, he would protect his family.
Sholana stared out the window of the hotel suite, it had the wonderful view in the city yet it wasn't lifting her mood, the suite was luxurious, beautiful but she wanted to be in a real house, their home. She was sad angry and hurt. She knew Nathan had kept so many things about his life from her, she never bothered him about it but this time it was different, not when it affected both her and Ella this much.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist, she wasn't sure when he had walked in or how long she had been standing by the window to be honest. It hurt her to feel his warmth, because of how much she knew she loved and trusted him and yet he couldn't trust her enough to tell her why….
"I'm sorry baby" he buried his face in the crook of her neck and took a deep breath. "I know you're very angry right now and I promise you I will explain everything to you soon"
"Why not now?"
"Lana…."
Sholana sighed and untangled his arms from her waist, she turned around to stare at him, into the green eyes she fell in love with…she almost lost her all of her anger just staring at his handsome face.
"I thought…I thought we agreed we would tell each other everything, that is kind of the point of a marriage Nathan" Sholana creates distance between the both of them. "This is not the way we raise a child, Nathan. No friends, no family around and no permanent home?...what exactly are we doing?!"
"I'm sorry…" Nathan said in a whisper, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry Lana"
Hearing his choked up plea, Sholana sighs in resignation…she could tell just how heavy the topic was for him, they have been married for five years yet she was still getting to know the man.
"How soon is your soon?"
Nathan chuckles at her choice of words, he kisses her lips and smiles against them.
"Soon…" He whispered.