The old man lunged at Laurence and covered his mouth before he could scream. "Hey, shut up, I can explain." said the old man as Laurence punched his abdomen. The old man recoiled and Laurence screamed for help while stumbling to his feet. As Laurence grabbed for the door, the old man grabbed his right foot and pulled him back. Laurence hit the carpeted floor. He struggled to get up as the old man threw the empty peanut can at his head.
"Stay still and calm down, maniac!" shouted the Old man before throwing a stack of papers at Laurence. "You're the one with the shrunken human head in a tin can." rebuked Laurence before flipping onto his back and kicking at the old man. The old man let out a groan before backing away as one of Laurence's kicks landed on his shin. "If you could relax for a minute we can talk this out!" shouted the old man before retreating to behind the desk. Laurence scrambled to his feet and faced the old man with his back against the door. "You have a head, in a peanut tin can.", said Laurence blankly.
"Sit down and I'll explain, or not." said the old man as he watched Laurence's arm snake to the door handle. The old man sat down and reclined in the chair before starting. "My name is Dullard White, as you already know, I am a banker. The head you found in the peanut can is one of my most prized assets, one I thought was lost by my nephew a year ago.". "The head, is an asset?" asked Laurence suspiciously, convinced the man he guarded against was a crackpot. Too many years of handling transactions seemed to have broken his mind.
"Did I finish? No, no I did not. Thirty-two years ago, I acquired the head completely by accident. I met a Shuar tribesman in desperate straits. I was a curious young man then. I'd been hired by an international banking conglomerate and given a thirty thousand dollar signing bonus. I had two weeks before I would start, and decided a vacation was at hand. The tribesman offered me his ancestral heirlooms in exchange for cash. He took me to his tent and showed me his belongings for sale. I wanted an ivory horn, which he charged me three hundred dollars for. Except when I wasn't looking, he switched the ivory horn for the shrunken head, probably believing it was fake. It wasn't fake though. As of last year, this head is worth eighty-four thousand dollars, although I could probably get a full hundred thousand if I sold it directly to an auction." explained Dullard without stopping for air.
"So you kept something worth a hundred grand, in a peanut can." summarized Laurence before changing his opinion on the man. To Laurence, he wasn't insane anymore, just unhinged. "My nephew kept it and promptly forgot where. You have my thanks for finding it, and with all of this out of the way, let's get into why you are here in the first place." corrected Dullard before opening the laptop on his desk. With the situation defused, Laurence set the grey chair he'd knocked down back up and took a seat. "I need a few corporate checking accounts opened today.", said Laurence.
"Today? Not possible, I haven't even reviewed your corporation for eligibility yet. If everything checks out, you can have the accounts activated within a week." replied Dullard. "I can't wait that long. I have some funds to wire and don't want the IRS knocking down my door." Laurence explained, hoping there was some way to speed up the process. Dullard shook his head before gesturing for Laurence to wait. Laurence watched him type something into the laptop and make a few clicks. The air conditioning in the room shut off as Dullard nodded at his screen for several minutes. "So far looks good. You've specified you have twenty thousand dollars in starting capital, registered as a proprietorship, and passed a consultancy check. But I have a question. Why are you trying to evade taxes before you even made any money?" commented Dullard on Laurence's application inquisitively.
Laurence froze as his brain went on overdrive thinking of an excuse. He ran his left hand through his messy hair before deciding on an answer. "It's better to be prepared for the future.", answered Laurence trying to hold a straight face. Dullard stared into his eyes before laughing. "Reasonable, but I can't get you four checking accounts registered on short notice. What I can do is give you a single one. But I wouldn't recommend tax evasion with this bank. What you want is a Cayman Islands bank or something in the Persian Gulf. But if it's going to be used to credit payments and make purchases, then it'll work." compromised Dullard while thinking of something. Why would a young man want several different checking accounts for a corporation, registered in a country renowned for shells, but do his banking where it's heavily monitored?
"I appreciate it, how soon can the account be activated?" gushed Laurence as the time limit set drew closer. "Around an hour, the account details will be sent to you through a secure email. And now with that done, anything else?" asked Dullard patiently. "Nothing that I can remember for now," answered Laurence believing the world was finally working with him instead of against him. "Well, just write your name and sign this here, and check back in a few days for the other three checking accounts if everything goes well." motioned Dullard while handing Laurence a sheet of paper. Laurence skimmed throughout and got the general gist. Dullard would be his assigned banker and would handle his accounts within the bank. Laurence filled the paper and handed it back before shaking Dullard's hand and leaving.
As the elevator door opened on the ground floor, Laurence smugly walked out of the building. His company might not actually be real, but today he was a registered Entrepreneur. His parents might take him back in if he revealed his new-found status to them. A voice in his head told him it was wishful thinking. Laurence passed through the entrance's glass doors and entered the cab before directing the driver to Rollo's.
Laurence entered Rollo's enthusiastically, peering at the tables in the back for Peter Salt. Peter saw him and signaled him to come over. Laurence passed through several occupied tables, noticing the Cafe was stuffed, probably because of impending Brunch. His stomach grumbled as he walked past the pastries and sandwiches. Laurence sat down opposite Peter before shaking his hand and exchanging pleasantries. "So how did the editing go?" asked Laurence while opening the menu on the table. "Tiring, they're a small software company that was having some personnel issues, clearance levels, and the such. But it's all fixed now, what are you ordering?" answered Peter cheerfully, clearly enjoying the assignment.
"Well, I don't know, anything you'd recommend?", inquired Laurence having never eaten at Rollo's before. "Grilled chicken wrap, the best one in Avencourt if you ask me. I was working on a high-spec commission for a week non-stop a year ago. I lived on those, breakfast, lunch, dinner." advised Peter before taking the menu from Laurence. He called out for someone to take their order before putting his hand in his pocket and taking out a hard wallet. "Now, let's get business done first.", said Peter while booting it up. Laurence nodded and started taking the wads of cash out of his pockets. A pile was built in front of Peter, who wondered how he'd take it all back.
"If a cop was here, he'd think we were settling a drug deal.", commented Peter as he hugged the pile with his arms and pulled it towards him. Laurence let out a small laugh before watching Peter count the wads. Peter nodded as everything checked out. "Same address as last time, or did you finally get yourself a hard wallet?" asked Peter while preparing to enter the address details. "Same as last time.", said Laurence, feeling a tinge of shame before shaking it off. Laurence pulled his phone out and waited for the transaction to go through. He'd split the crypto into five batches to five different exchanges from the light wallet.
Rose walked over and smiled at them before asking what they wanted. "Two grilled chicken wraps, an espresso double shot, you want water again Laurence?" answered Peter before asking Laurence. He nodded on reflex and cringed at the thought of drinking the tap water. Too bad he didn't have the social skills to change it. As Rose wrote down their order, Laurence glanced at her shoes. Rose noticed this and raised her eyebrow. "People do say first-time impressions stick, but that was a one-time thing, I woke up early today.", said Rose before walking away. Peter laughed at Laurence while he looked for a hole to jump in.
The wraps proved to be just as good as Peter made them out to be. He and Peter exchanged life experiences and opinions while finishing the food. Laurence ignored the tap water throughout the meal. "I know what the media says about crypto bros, but we have some legitimate points. It's faster to use the Ethereum chain than send a wire through a bank.", argued Peter as they discussed the public opinion on crypto. "That's a good point, but there are other services like PayPal that can match, if not exceed the speed of the Ethereum chain." rebuked Laurence. "But if you want to withdraw it from PayPal, it will wire your bank, so the problem remains. See what I'm trying to say?" explained Peter, trying to convince Laurence. Laurence thought over Peter's counterargument before glancing out the window, hoping some fresh scenery would inspire him. Instead, he saw John staring at him across the street, signaling him to hurry up.