"Wait!" screamed Seth. John shook his head and started speaking, "He's just saying shit so I don't blow his brains out. He can't launder his own underwear, as if he can launder money, hell I was at his apartment, the only thing he's good at would be wasting time."
Seth walked over to them and appraised Laurence closely. "I can launder money.", said Laurence repeatedly. "Don't do it Seth." cautioned John as he saw the thoughts swirling in Seth's eyes. Seth got down on one knee and make eye contact with Laurence. "Can you really launder it?" asked Seth sternly. Laurence nodded enthusiastically like a bobblehead. Seth nodded back to him and rose to his feet. "Remove the zip tie.", said Seth before walking back to the opposite side of the flip table. John glared at Seth and then Laurence.
Laurence sat on the floor, surprised that his desperate play had worked as John cut the zip ties restraining him. John helped him to his feet and then shoved him towards the table, where Seth turned the laptop to Laurence's angle. Laurence put his untied hands onto the flip table and looked at the laptop's screen. On the laptop, an Excel sheet was displayed with several figures. "Surprise test, tell me how much the Swiss account will have if I smurf in Panama instead of California?" asked Seth inquisitively. Laurence blanked out for a second before attempting to read the Excel chart.
It didn't go well. He was able to understand that the final yield was 82,093 after tax in USD, but he was unable to understand what penalties the sum was suffering from. He noticed that there was a 4.5% deduction when the sum was 139,200 but otherwise was unable to make any headway. Luckily his days of obsessing over random internet topics would come in handy. Panama had a higher corporate tax than California, and unless they were overreporting their costs and hiring suspicious companies in the British virgin islands for "consulting", they would be paying more. "Trick question, you'll lose more unless you overreport expenses.", answered Laurence, confident in his answer.
Seth nodded and shut the laptop. "Alright, down to business. I have 300,000 USD in unmarked bills and you have 77 hours to launder it. 36 hours from now, I'll bring another 60,000 USD which also needs to be laundered. I don't care how much you lose as long as by the end of the time period, you have 300,000 cleaned and ready for transfer. John will drop you off at your apartment, rest for a while and he'll drop off the first 100,000. If you don't show results in 36 hours he'll take care of you. Good luck." informed Seth before leaving the table for a corner where he started another call on the black flip phone.
Before Laurence knew it, he was back in his apartment watching John stack wads of cash on his coffee table. Laurence scratched his shoulder as John took out the last wad from the black duffel bag. "I assume you know I'll be monitoring where you go and who you talk to?" asked John as he zipped the bag up and wore it on his right side. Laurence nodded absently, his eyes focused on the wealth in front of him. "If you try calling the cops, just know that your fingerprints are all over the payload. If we go down, you're going down as an accomplice.", warned John before exiting the apartment and shutting the door behind him.
Laurence collapsed onto his couch and returned to staring at the ceiling. He checked his phone for the time before relaxing again. 6:23 am. He felt deep exhaustion in his limbs. He contemplated touching the money to make sure it was real but decided against it. For five seconds, Laurence was at peace. And then a voice in his head asked him how he was going to launder 300,000 dollars in three days. Rather than answering the question or thinking about his predicament, Laurence decided to sleep instead. He'd deal with it when he woke up.
Laurence opened his eyes to find himself encased in complete darkness. The bits of light that had come from the window in the kitchen was gone. Laurence groped for his phone and opened it. After blinking a bit at the bright light, Laurence read the numbers on the screen. It was 7 pm. He'd slept over twelve hours, but surprisingly felt energetic and un-lethargic. Laurence rose to his feet and stared at the cash which was still there. He picked up a wad, and then another. Hundred-dollar bills, hundreds of them. He put them down and looked around for his laptop. It was time to get to work.
Laurence started by doing some fundamental research into money laundering and its common methods. Wikipedia might not be a reliable source, but when it came to providing reliable sources, none rivaled it. Hours passed as Laurence fixated on money laundering, finding genuine interest in the topic. Several months ago, he had learned to make a pipe bomb with a similar interest. Money laundering was extremely simple in principle. All you needed to do was use the money in a transaction legitimately, and as far as the system was concerned, it was clean. And here was the problem.
The main methods of money laundering that he could find in case files were of cash businesses being used to launder cartel money. Laurence didn't own a cash-intensive business. He didn't even own his coffee table. In most of the cases he could find, strip clubs, restaurants, laundromats, and car washes were used. Another way would be construction, but once again, Laurence didn't have the necessary infrastructure or resources. He needed another way. Something more digital, less traceable. The answer he found was Monero.
Monero was a cryptocurrency, which unlike Bitcoin and others was truly a privacy coin. The transactions were unreadable and it happened to be the preferred currency of digital criminals. The main issue was buying some. You either bought it at a large markup from independent sellers who didn't require a KYC, or from a brokerage. Most banks didn't mind minor cash deposits like 100 to 500 bucks but some would flag accounts for consistent cash deposits. Laurence looked around for sites connecting sellers and buyers for Monero and browsed for a seller near him. Methods of payment ranged from gift cards to wire transfers, but Laurence opted for cash.
He found a seller named Salt_KingAvnc1 and started a chat. He arranged a meeting at a Cafe nearby and made himself a Monero wallet. With that out of the way, Laurence decided to look into some banks based in Avencourt with some failed audits. Surprisingly, Avencourt Banks weren't known for being audit-proof. He reviewed them based on an article he found named "Ten signs your bank is vulnerable to money laundering.", created to help denizens of the internet avoid the loss of their wealth.
Theodore Kent happened to fulfill all ten signs while having good insurance. Laurence browsed their different accounts and fulfilled a KYC to register another checking account. He had three days to deposit the twenty-five dollar annual fee before the account was closed for inactivity. Laurence then grabbed a wad and took out thirty hundred dollar bills. It was time to make some ATM runs.
The closest to Laurence was near a grocery store called John and Sons which was a one-minute drive away from his apartment. Laurence closed his laptop and set the google maps route before leaving his apartment and entering the elevator. Once again the annoying elevator music played, getting on his nerves. Laurence looked at himself in the mirror. An emaciated pale ungroomed young man stared back at him. The doors opened and Laurence walked out. To his surprise, Fred Denutes was actually in the lobby. A major problem as Sugon had told Fred to evict Laurence on sight.
Fred didn't resemble his uncle at all. Sugon Denutes was a man of average stature and black hair. Fred was tall, blond, and grew his hair out. Where Sugon had thick eyebrows, Fred didn't seem to have any. Where Sugon had stubble, Fred was clean-shaven. Yet despite these obvious differences, both men had the same apple-shaped face and brown eyes. Fred was sprawled across the lobby couch, scrolling through his phone with his headphones on. Laurence got on all fours and wormed across the lobby carpet, hoping Fred didn't notice him. He reached the entrance but his luck failed him, and Fred started stretching and spotted Laurence crouching near the entrance.
"Vidi? Damn man, Uncle thought you left the apartment yourself two days ago, escaping now I see.", said Fred amusedly. Laurence gave Fred a false smile and got to his feet. "Actually, I was going to the bank to transfer the pending rent.", explained Laurence as Fred got to his feet and started walking towards him. "Nice, that's responsible of you, but Uncle gave me strict instructions to take your key back if I ever see you, so hand it over.", said Fred, his easygoing demeanor turning serious. "You know what Fred? I really need to get going, the bank's going to close in a few hours, and I'm really in a rush, anyway nice talking to you, bye.", said Laurence while backing away before running out of the building and onto the street as Fred chased him.