In its purest form, the act of punishment produces symmetry. Payments for crimes against innocent people. But the danger of retaliation lies much deeper, in its cycle of violence. But that's a risk that must be faced when greater resistance results in the guilty being released from punishment.
"I have to look for it and only you can help me, Alena," said Delia in a voice that sounded heavier than usual, not only that, Delia sounded panicked and worried. Her voice trembled and Alena felt it seemed real. Alena had never found Delia like this.
"How do I do it? What can I do for you, D?" asked Alena as she went into a room and left her little son Ivander with a nanny. Alena felt that her conversation with Delia should not be heard by other people, let alone the workers in their magnificent house.
"I... I don't know. I just remembered that the range of access that your husband has is extraordinary and you can help me by asking Rudolf for help," said Delia who had no other choice but to get rid of her heavy thoughts to give a favor to someone else. But Marsha was far more valuable than she thought and Delia was quite self-aware with her inability to track other people's whereabouts.
"But---"
"I know that there will be a lot of questions your husband might ask about this. But it feels like it becomes---"
"You want me to tell what happened to Rudolf so he---"
"I don't care what Rudolf thinks when he decides to help me. I'm sure Rudolf will help me for your sake, Alena. Considering you and our friendship so far" said Delia at length and Alena was silent after that for a while.
Alena was silent not completely mute, her thoughts exceeded other people's which led to anxiety, making Alena feel the difference in Delia's treatment of Marsha Anderson, who is now missing and is dealing with Sally Pladys.
"I beg you," said Delia briefly with a full meaning.
Alena blinked in surprise, the image in her head suddenly evaporated along with the air in the room where she was now. "There is no other way. I knew very well how that woman would go mad at Marsha. Sally is a dangerous woman, Alena, "said Delia in a voice that sounded firm and tried to convince Alena.
"Alright, I'll contact Rudolf about this. He... is currently out of America. I'll give it a try and if---"
"I believe you," interrupted Delia which made Alena stop her sentence until her breath was held for a few seconds before being followed by a loud gust.
"I will help you as best I can. I will call Rudolf now," Alena said before the phone line between them was cut off and Delia returned to silence in the car she was driving.
Delia's past life with Sally left only pain. Sally's manipulative nature and lies created from the very beginning of their acquaintance are undeniable. All the evidence came naturally as if the universe and fate presented it so perfectly in front of Delia Ashton.
Sally Pladys has filled the life of Delia Ashton with a period that is not short, although not as long as Gwen Jinx. But none of their togetherness deserves to be a memory other than ridicule and material for laughs.
The lie that Sally did together with Lisa Tan was not just an ordinary friend. Everything is designed so neatly and perfectly that it cradles all of Delia Ashton's thoughts before finally causing a breakdown of trust. They have a relationship feeling that is more than just friendship. Delia gets all the evidence by accident and the fact that Sally Pladys and Lisa Tan are lovers who pretend to play their respective roles for Sally's ambition to control Delia Ashton, not only her money but also her life.
The image when all the truth was revealed and not a single line could be said by the mute Lisa and Sally could no longer rant to defend herself by denying all the findings that Delia had. A fact that was too strong and for the umpteenth time made Delia's anger unbearable. Anger is inevitable until everything seems to be a lava volcano which in the end gushes out to destroy everything. There's nothing left, no apologies, no way back. All closed with Delia's decision to close all the stories for good.
The pounding that came from behind the bedroom door made Delia snap out of her long daydream after sipping the drink she had stored in the storage cupboard under the sink table. A hidden place that Delia had created long ago for her benefit to escape reality in a cradle of alcohol. Delia's ability to design and build her skills from a young age is a relief. Delia could make a haven for all the drinks she'd secretly bought. Likewise with Delia's return a few days ago. Delia had stocked herself with a few bottles of water that she had bought on her way to the Ashtons' mansion.
Delia spent her long days in the arms of alcohol until she finally collapsed and fell unconscious, asleep the whole time until all real-life returned to greet her in the lingering dizziness.
The screams and commotions and debates that Delia had ignored all her life in the Ashton family residence. Nothing was more important to Delia than her sanity. Considering all members of the Ashton family, the couple Trina and Devon Asthon, Delia's parents including her two younger siblings Harry and Frank as character players for all the dramas of life in her family, only the levels are different.
Delia's decision to return home by once again placing a hope that this time might come true is far from reality. Like a puddle, she beat and the water splashed on her face. The regret felt like a hard slap to the face. "I shouldn't have returned home for circumstances that I could easily guess," Delia thought when the screams and nagging of her father, Devon Ashton sounded so loud, followed by Frank leaving in one of the cars. Frank disappeared with the anger he carried.
Delia only watched her brother leave along with the shadow of the past when she was in the same situation that happened to Frank. Debates that will never end, one after another as if the world was created to be debated.
Delia walked into the bathroom, left her bedroom balcony open, and let the wind blow the curtains. Delia didn't care what happened. She wanted to forget everything, even the knock on her bedroom door she did not respond. Delia never intended to open the door. Delia also can't remember the last time she ate.
The food prepared by the maid of the house was placed at the door of Delia's room. Untouched food, even for a grain of rice complemented by delicious side dishes made by the mother Trina Ashton. Delia doesn't need it all when all the shadows of the past, the dark story of a life that lurks again, drags Delia into a prolonged depression. The past that returns to life results from the effects of hurt feelings in the present.
A line of faces from the past figures are present one by one. Appears alternately until it ends with the beautiful face of Marsha Anderson who Delia Ashton misses too much. Observing Marsha's whereabouts and making sure Marsha was okay was so torturous but there was no other choice. Life didn't give Delia much choice.
This is not the first time that failure has dragged Delia Ashton into depression. But there was nothing deeper to immerse Delia in different feelings than her love for Marsha. A character that is different from all the women who have been present in Delia's life.
"I never hated you, Sha. You are too precious and I shouldn't have brought you into my dark life." Delia was talking to herself. A conversation that felt more like endless regret. "I shouldn't have allowed your curiosity. I should have stopped all your questions. I should have left since the feeling came. I should----" Delia's sentence stopped suddenly with a series of emotions that Delia couldn't control anymore. Marsha's face seemed to appear in front of Delia. Looks stunningly beautiful as usual.
Delia pulled out one of her drink bottles followed by throwing her butt on the pile of towels that Delia had arranged to fight the cold from the marble floor she was sitting on. Delia opened one of the water bottles and gulped down its contents in one gulp before the numbness of her lips returned.
There was nothing more faithful to accompany Delia when she was not well than the drinks. Not her family, not her friends especially with a row of names that have been present in her life. "They just want me to be okay. But this is me. I'm just an ordinary human who can get hurt and bad," Delia chirped before taking another sip of her drink. Delia gulped it straight from the bottle without using a legged glass. Pleasant sensation. Delia smiled to herself, the feeling that came back over and over again, the stupidity that seemed unavoidable. Delia shouldn't think that humans can make mistakes but not by experiencing them repeatedly. "I should be learning, not being stupid again. Damn it," Delia mumbled followed by a chuckle to herself.
A world with all its unfunny jokes. The world in all its cruelty. The world that Delia often felt was so unfair. Sometimes asking with many words why? shouldn't? how could it be and why should it?
***