Who knows what I'm truly thinking, it seems even my mind betrays me. Is life just an illusion? I don't think I belong here, a mistake perhaps? People learn from their mistakes, so I must be an accident. Wouldn't it be better to not have lived at all. Why go through this cycle called life? I'm not wanted, I'm not good enough, I am worthless. Has my effort ever been enough? Has my existence ever been good enough? I don't think I'm good enough, the real me. The true me. Don't put me into categories, don't change me to fit your wants or needs. I've never done anything for myself. I can't love myself because all I see in the mirror are lies.

. . . .

As I close my diary I look up to the ceiling. "Don't! Don't cry" I tell myself. However I can't keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. I lay there letting the tears fall until nothings left. I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. My whole body aches. I dont have the strength to get up. I lay in the hospital bed alone. With the faint sounds of the monitor echoing throughout the room.